ThE BaSiC PrAcTiCaLiTiEs

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ThE BaSiC PrAcTiCaLiTiEs
The Basic Practicalities started out as "The Elemental Pragmatics" in the year 1763 by 3 inmates after escaping from a mental asylum. The band immediately gained noteriety due to it's innovative concept to "become the first band with a web page." This was highly innovative given that the Internet wouldn't be created for another 200 years.
The band went through many changes and members over the next couple centuries, but always remained faithful to the unique singing style which required the lead singer to simply stand on stage while the other band members threw sharp non leathal objects at the lead vocals. "The sweet, dulcimer screams of the lead singer were like a thousand angels being impaled on the head of a pin," quotes the New York Times from 1904.
Success and fortune soon came to an abrubt end during a performance for the visiting Queen of England at Carnagie Hall. During a particularly boisterous vocal solo, the guitarist became a little over-zealous resulting in the horrific incident which became known as "The Great Toothpick Stapping of 1953." Sadly, the Queen lost an eye and 6 stage hands were killed.
The band broke up shortly after due to depression and financial difficulties (it is rumored that the aformentioned financial problems were from the ex-lead singer's need for an elaborate prosthetic.)
Fast forward to current times finds that the three current members decided to resurrect this once great music ensemble. The lead singer, Lela, decided to put an end to the projectiles by being the drummer as well. (If you'll notice, she always sits with her back to a wall.) To help differentiate themselves further from the troubled times of their predecessors, they also decided on a band name change. After over 16 weeks of negotitations, they finally hit upon "The Basic Practicalities."
"I wanted to find a band name that any web designer would have to spell at least 3 times before getting it right," said Dylan, the lead guitarist. "Yeah, and we also wanted to make sure that everyone has to say 'THE Basic Practicalities' instead of just 'Basic Practicalities'...just for the annoyance factor," chimes in Ben, the bassist.
The Basic Practicalities initially started with a 75 piece full orchestra and all the members required a 16 page contract to be filled out just to leave their houses. However, they finally decided that the orchestra wasn't "Basic" and that the elaborate legal contracts became anything but "Practical." After a minor re-tooling the band is what it is today: Guitar, Bass, Drums, and Vocals. With a cutting edge style, and an indecipherable flair, the band has propelled themselves to almost legendary status within the basement where they practice.