As everyone knows, you are either born with a genetic proclivity toward schizophrenia or you're not. I was. In this most advanced of first world nations, most persons with this disorder are not diagnosed until they are about eighteen years of age. The reason is that this disease remains in a more or less dormant stage until the patient is exposed to a catalyst. In the case of schizophrenia, it is now the belief of all psychiatrists that the heretofore latent schizophrenia is triggered by an airborne pathogen called: a LOCOTOPE! Locotopes are pheromone-like biological agents secreted by the endocrine system of a diseased subject. Most medications can only slow the progression of brain-disease, and can not cure it. But, a savvy schizo knows, because locotopic-pheromones exit the body through the nasal passages, the only way that schizo's who have already begun the zombi-like transformation into debased, sub-humaniod creatures can prevent the eventual destruction of the entire ecosphere is: we must all put our capsules in to our noses and breathe only with our mouths! Ok, crazies? We have to put the pills into our noses, or the result will be a cataclysmic, cannibalistic spread of an epidemic of rape, homicide, and aberrant sexual behaviors!
