Jack - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Oh you know there's not much to tell. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. When I was insolent (which was quite often) I was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds, pretty standard... oh and my shorn scrotum... HAHA!Well maybe there is a bit more to the story than a stupid movie quote, although it seems my life has become nothing more than a long drawn out episode of the the family guy, simpsons or south park. I, above all else, desire to be hapy. I want to help people be happy. I want to help people help ME be happy. Does that make sense?I live a life of extreme perversion (if you are a christian). I live a life of extreme and contemptible philanthropy (if you are a republican). I am probably one of the most offensive people you have ever met (if you are overly sensitive about your race, sexuality, or some other characteristic of yourself that you use as a crutch to gain other's sympathy under the guise of "political correctness"). See! I've probably offended someone already!But the real meat of the matter is this: you will all be my subjects someday... so be nice! ;-)

My Interests

Like I said I LOVE the luge. Herbaliage. Cartoons. Men. Shaking things up. Breaking things down. Going too far with something. Making people who I think deserve it uncomfortable. Not accepting things at face value. Destroying the "evil empire". Travelling to various places to spread my personal religion which we shall refer to as "Jackism" from now on. Having a child with a woman of every different ethnicity (I am sooooo serious about that.)Books. Movies. School. Life. Exercise. Running. Happiness. Harmony. Willie Wonka.

I'd like to meet:

I'd rather tell you who I DON'T want to meet. People who can't take a joke. People who get offended easily. People who are losers. People who don't have my interests in the forefront of their brains ALL THE TIME. People who don't worship me. People who don't tell me how beautiful I am everytime they see me. People who aren't scary and weird. People who are genetically mutated and live in the hills of New Mexico waiting for some perfect white family to come along so they can totally eat them. People who are republicans and talk about their political beliefs. People who are afraid to cry. People who are afraid of gay homos. Actually, that's not true. I love scaring people. I LOVE IT!

Music:

Radiohead, NIN, Royksopp, Elton John, Indigo Girls, Madonna, Belinda Carlisle, Aphex Twin, Tears for Fears, A-HA, Beck, Pink Floyd, Aretha Franklin, Carole King, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Boy George, George Michael, Scissor Sisters, Journey, Hall and Oates, M.I.A., Gwen Stefani, Mos Def, Ludacris, Outkast, Portishead, Thievery Corporation, AIR, T.A.T.U., the crazy dyke band

Movies:

Willie Wonka, The Hills Have Eyes, All about Eve, Crash, I Walk The Line, Cube, Total Recall, The Island, Look Who's Talking, White Chix, Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Eurpean Vacation (in that order), Young Frankenstein, Donnie Darko, American Beauty

Television:

Simpsons, South Park, The Family Guy, Will and Grace, CSI, any of the shows on MTV that have hot guys (which is like all of em right?), Chappelle Show, X-files, Strangers with Candy, Upright Citizen's Brigade, American Dad, Weather Channel, old Cosby Show reruns, infomercials SET IT AND FORGET IT!!!!!

Books:

Atlas Shrugged, The Demon Haunted World, Cosmos, Solaris, The Persian Boy, The Kite Runner, and oh so many more...

Heroes:

My Heroes are people who are happy and powerful and good.

My Blog

only 2 more weeks

only 2 more weeks of class! I am elated. My brain has been rewired. I am now a functional human being where as before I was merely a child. Things are definitely heading in th...
Posted by Jack on Sun, 07 May 2006 12:47:00 PST

what the fuck is life anyway? (FEEDBACK REQUIRED)

Nostalgiac music really takes me back. You will laugh when I tell you what song kinda inspired this little blurb. The Goo-Goo Dolls. Name. Y'all remember that song? It came out...
Posted by Jack on Wed, 19 Apr 2006 05:04:00 PST

pictures are funny

Over the course of the last couple of years I have collected quite a few hilarious pictures the most famous of which can be found in my images section (the vomiting pumpkin). Tis unfortunate tha...
Posted by Jack on Sat, 08 Apr 2006 05:46:00 PST

failure is bittersweet

Thanks for all the sweet comments guys! Of course I totally failed at stoppage of smokage. but that's ok. There's always tomorrow... Or the next day... Or the next day.. :-) ...
Posted by Jack on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 04:09:00 PST

So Far So Good

Yes I have made it 5 whole days. And luckily or unluckily I got sick this week, so that made things a little easier. My lungs are definitely thanking me. And you know what's cool?&n...
Posted by Jack on Fri, 24 Mar 2006 03:14:00 PST

it's official, i will not ___ until my birthday.....

Well the blank could be any number of different things... have sex? no that would be too easy... masterbate? FAR TOO HARD! Smoke weed? You've got it! Until the 26th of April, I will not smo...
Posted by Jack on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 08:17:00 PST

Comedy Central pulling an episode???????????

Ok this is getting to be more than just a little scary. I am sure that most of you have heard that Isaac Hayes left south park because he claims that south park is insensitive to personal religi...
Posted by Jack on Fri, 17 Mar 2006 01:22:00 PST

Well it seems I was living in the Past.

Friends, Enemies, Co-workers, Family-members welcome. Welcome to my MySpace page. I must confess, it has existed for a long time without so much as a spec of useless personal information a...
Posted by Jack on Thu, 16 Mar 2006 03:03:00 PST