Mild-mannered and slightly passive-aggressive Canadian boy packs up shop and transplants himself nearly 1,600 miles from Southern Ontario to Texas in search of riches, love and true happiness--the story writes itself! Will this humble Canuck succeed in the Lone Star State, or will he merely suck? Can his dulcet (dull set?) tones wow the critics and woo the ladies? Will he figure out where he left his keys last night? He thought they were in the kitchen. No, seriously. He was sure he put them on the counter when he walked in the door last night, but now they're not there anymore. Did you move them? He will not be impressed if you moved his keys!
Turn-ons: Animal lovers. 1970s game shows. Whimsy. Imaginative wordplay. Perfect cadences played on pedal steel guitars to end songs. A love of Wikipedia. Third-order curves. The sound that lips make on skin.
Turn-offs: Federalists. Getting up early. Dental X-rays. Imprecision of speech.
My perfect date: A bottle of wine, a copy of The Hite Report, and a fuzzy blue blanket.
(Note to self: Put childish survey question answers here when complete.)
Tell Me About Yourself - The Survey
Name: Aaron
Birthday: December 3, 1974
Birthplace: Niagara Falls, Ontario
Current Location: Austin, Texas
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5' 8"
Right Handed Or Left Handed: Right
The Shoes You Wore Today: Running shoes while playing basketball; sandals as I type this now
Your Weakness: I can't tell you for fear that you might exploit it
Your Fears: Bees
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni and extra cheese, light on the sauce
Thoughts First Waking Up: Shit, I hope it's not time to get up
Your Best Physical Feature: My legs, my hair
Your Bedtime: Usually between 10 and 11pm
Pepsi Or Coke: Either one, as long as it's diet
McDonalds Or Burger King: Burger King all the way--gotta be flame-broiled
Chocolate Or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappucino Or Coffee: Neither
Do You Smoke: Very rarely
Do You Swear: Like a sailor!
Do You Sing: I've been known to bust out in song from time to time
Do You Shower Daily: Not unheard of
Have You Been In Love: Yes
Do You Want To Go To College: Been there, done that
Do You Want To Get Married: Been there, done that too
Do You Believe In Yourself: Do I believe in myself what?
Do You Get Motion Sickness: I get lotion sickness
Do You Think You Are Attractive: To my detriment, yes
Are You A Health Freak: 'No', he said, as he ordered the extra-large queso
Do You Get Along With Your Parents: Yes
Do You Like Thunderstorms: LOVE THEM
Do You Play An Instrument: What instrument don't I play?
In The Past Month Have You Drank Alcohol: I'm drinking right now!
In The Past Month Have You Smoked: Yes
In The Past Month Have You Been On Drugs: A 14-day course of Levaquin, baybee
Ever Been Drunk: And how
Ever Been Called A Tease: Not in so many words
How Do You Want To Die: With dignity
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up: People grow up?
What Country Would You Most Like To Visit: Yours
