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About Me


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I hate trying to describe myself in text. I work better face to face. Er... I'm an actor/writer with a less than impressive resume. I live to entertain. I love to make people laugh. When I'm not walking the boards, I love telling stories to my friends as well as the children in my life.
My ultimate goal is to break free from my day-job-hell to be able to act full time. You might say I'm in a rut as an actor. There's quite a few steps for me to take between where I am now and where I'd like to be (specifically, the first American actor to be cast as James Bond on the big screen). What steps, you ask? Let's see... I need to lose twenty pounds, get some dental work done, affordably shake my day job, update my headshots and regain my SAG status. Piece o' cake, right?
l'm also the brilliant developer of at least two online personality profile tests. Check out my 02/23/07 blog if you want to give them a spin.
The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Is that I have no butt. My back goes directly into my legs. The train runs without a caboose. Gluteus minimus. Tiny heinie. Back with a crack in it. Assless. Sans-a-tush. Nothing in the back yard. Keister deficient. I have ... no ... butt.
Furthermore I come bearing the gift of vieogame entertainment...

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

All of the friends I've made on myspace... and Jane Seymour. I'd donate all of my limbs if I thought I'd get to do a scene with either her or Gene Hackman. All hail Gene Hackman!

My Blog

The Change?

ChicagoAccording to legendary author Carl Sandburg&Hog Butcher for the World,Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;Stormy, husky, brawling,City of the Big...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:35:00 GMT

Ambivalence in the Accomplishment of Whole New Depths of Geekdom

Just when I thought I couldn't find a more public way of revealing my geekhood than arriving at a sci-fi convention wearing my Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems security jumpsuit, I managed to surprise even...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:28:00 GMT

Lalalala Football

I normally don't give a flying f@k whether or not someone does tag me for a meme, but as it was my lady who tagged me (and I want to CONTINUE to get laid) I decided to fulfill said meme tag. I won't, ...
Posted by on Tue, 16 Dec 2008 00:48:00 GMT

A Honky in Hell

"Mr. Roberts... Could you please describe the assailant?"That's what the officer requested of me.I proceeded to stare at the officer with the same perplexed look that I offered my good friend Allen on...
Posted by on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:10:00 GMT

F@K the Teaser! The new TRAILER is out!

It’s here! It’s finally HERE! You can find more about it at www.bledwhitemovie.com.
Posted by on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 08:21:00 GMT

What in the HELL happened to North?

I'm certain that there is one question on everyone's mind..."What in the HELL happened to North?"The answer is a simple one really..."Busy"First of all, I should address the film. I just finished film...
Posted by on Sun, 09 Mar 2008 18:15:00 GMT

A message from a true sports fan!

Those of you who know the southsider who has authored this entry, know him as a dyed-in-the-wool fan of the Chicago White Sox. Inasmuch, I have an important message to those members of the one religio...
Posted by on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 15:27:00 GMT

A Structure Most Foul

As it was, my partner at work (Dutch) and I were assigned to deliver a weighty load of flooring materials to an... er... unsavory part of the city.What do I mean by "unsavory" you may ask? Lemme put i...
Posted by on Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:55:00 GMT

Busy days... Blockbusters... and Back pain

There are some things about me that those closest to me already know.The typical nature of my work day, for example...My typical work day involves an unholy combination of driving and lifting things t...
Posted by on Wed, 04 Jul 2007 12:43:00 GMT

AAAA (Another Archer Avenue Adventure)

Three nights ago&I found myself traveling southwest on Archer Avenue (as I am quite prone to do) in yet another visit to the Pirate Queen.As I stopped for a red light, happenstance brings a small, bla...
Posted by on Sun, 01 Jul 2007 12:06:00 GMT