mandey profile picture

mandey

if you & me always agree, one of us is unnecessary

About Me



i hate when people tell, like, 76 jokes in a row, and i find that at some point, i began laughing just to be polite. it makes me feel trapped. i have a very specific sense of humor. i know i cannot expect everyone to fit into the parameters of my own personal comedic needs. which i why i continue to laugh. politely.

i have an extensive collection of serial killer encyclopedias and martha stewart cookbooks. i have the same combat boots i bought fourteen years ago. certain aspects of my life are drowned in paradox. i am so incredibly cheap that instead of buying new shoes, i simply repair my decimated ones with superglue and staples.
ummm. . .let's see. want to know how i got here?
My dad got a drama degree in NC and moved into a basement apartment in New Orleans which he shared with the owner’s pet duck. Coupling his talent for face paint application with a penchant for quite literally acting his way out of a paper bag, voila! A street mime was born.
My dad performed everywhere from inside department store displays to the Riverwalk alongside the Mississippi to upscale private parties. Alas, my mother, in attendance for one of these parties, accomplished something as yet unheard of during my father’s career. She made the mime talk.
After performing as a mime-duo for two years, my mother in braids and a beret, and my father in mutton chops and a faux-sailor’s getup, they decided, albeit silently, to take their relationship to the next level. They were married on February 23, 1980. Their first child was promptly born seven months and twenty six days later, but they swear to god she was premature. When others doubt the validity of this statement, my mother, to this day, will only cryptically answer, “I couldn’t get him to DO anything before we were married!” Amanda entered this world a belligerent four pound blob closely resembling a bowl of oatmeal. She hung out in an incubator for a little while, and in my opinion, the solitude she experienced there set her up quite nicely for a lifetime devoted to the boycott of interpersonal relationships.
Then after the rain, I moved here to Chapel Hill, and I love it more than life itself.

My Interests

.
making lists of things (any things). i like how advil caplets taste like grape candy. but i hate grape flavored candy. i collect people's conversations. i'm lonely, i like mail order catalogs, serial killers, failing to grow plants, finding grammatical errors
the silence of the telephone
the special features on DVDs. i like trying to figure out if people are really happy just by watching the way they carry themselves. i like watching people squirm.

I'd like to meet:

1. someone who has seen "the house of yes" and liked it. "the house of yes" may be substituted with "return to oz" or "the peanut butter solution" if need be.

2. someone who will bring me three Flan Cups from the far right cooler in La Potosina on Rosemary Street. I will need a plastic spoon also.

3. someone who has been to Dollywood. and NO, graceland does NOT count. STOP.

if you are a girl and you fit 1-3, we will be best friends. if you are a boy, i will marry you, so be ready.

also, i like drummers. and as far as boys, i like them relatively bizarre, a tiny bit helpless, and i prefer for them to accessorize with messenger bags, fine-line art pens, giant sunglasses, and that kind of haircut that's all wispy and flippy and cowlicked. Must use "Post-modern" as a verb on a regular basis.and yes, i know my HTML is showing. i like it that way./table, td {background-color:transparent;border:none;border-width:0;} I have lots of acquaintances, but barely any friends.

Music:

things i like:
the smiths
tool
decemberists
jeff buckley
cantaloop
aesop rock
mazzy star
dungen
pelican
besnard lakes
of montreal
un deux trois
boris
opeth
neutral milk hotel
mr. bungle
ima robot
the rosebuds
royksopp
chromeo
deadboy & the elephantmen
thingy
acid bath
at.the.drive.in
nellie mckay
bowerbirds
cradle of filth
wolfsheim
soul coughing
pop will eat itself
fugazi
concrete blonde
southern culture on the skids
sunny day real estate
poe
les savy fav
The Prayers and Tears of Arthur Digby Sellers
manowar
i get bored at concerts even if i love the band playing.

Movies:

gummo
thumbsucker
virgin suicides
little monsters
happiness
happenstance
delicatessen
city of lost children
citizen kane
donnie darko
kalifornia
after hours
the return of the living dead
flight of the navigator
amelie
lair of the white worm
the royal tenenbaums
trees lounge
the house of yes
talented mr. ripley
secretary
labyrinth
the dark crystal
return to oz
the first twenty minutes of buffalo 66
the peanut butter solution
conan.

Television:

i am an infomercial for a very quirky, specialized, but completely unnecessary kitchen appliance.

Books:

anything put out by McSweeney's, anything at all.

Heroes:

fuck heroes.
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My Blog

email updates, things like that.

one more time: i am moving all my shit to dissension in the souplines slowly but surely. again, there will be new posts AND repeats of (albeit edited) myspace posts, so bear with me and don't get bo...
Posted by mandey on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:08:00 PST

to let you know.

i know i haven't written shit on here in forever. i'm moving things very slowly to dissension in the souplines so for a while, there will be repeats with a couple of edits here and there for continui...
Posted by mandey on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 06:18:00 PST

Five Dates till a Tempest

Dear J Waves:Right now I am at Skylight Book Exchange.  I am watching a Jamaican man in a suit and a top hat trying to find the perfect place to spread his wares for Dennis.  He’s been...
Posted by mandey on Thu, 03 Apr 2008 07:16:00 PST

Destroyer of. . .what, exactly?

"I am going to be a star in the night sky above/"so you THINK THIS IS LOVE?"/I guess so/submarines don’t mind spending their time in the ocean."-Destroyer, "it’s gonna take an airplane." [...
Posted by mandey on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:39:00 PST

the pox cantve wrektus.

Dear J Waves,You want the truth? If I could put you in all my blogs, I would. You told me you stalked around on Valentime’s, reading up about my escapades, looking for yourself and waiting to ...
Posted by mandey on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 05:46:00 PST

Saved by the Beauty of Bostons.

It has been an interesting past couple of days.  I was working at the bar on Wednesday and was visited by a couple of precious traveling hipster boys from Boston who had tried, months earlier, to...
Posted by mandey on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 09:11:00 PST

Valentimes, Unmother, Itemization

Happy Late Valentime's.  How'd you spend yours?  Oh, really?  Well, that's cool.  Or not.  Depending on who you are and what you said.Oh, me?  Oh.  You know.  I...
Posted by mandey on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 09:54:00 PST

Non-Stop Party Wagon

So I just finished Natural Disaster, the latest offering from NC native Al Burian.  Al has become the bane of my existence lately, and it's not his fault, really.  See, it seems as though I ...
Posted by mandey on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:30:00 PST

florida.

I have completely embarrassed myself alone, all by myself, with no one there to laugh at me.  I am at Fenario, the Shag Athlete band house, and I am attempting to teach myself to play piano and s...
Posted by mandey on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 12:05:00 PST

Black Snake Fuck You

Hello.  My name is Christina Ricci, and I am a complete fucking dolt.Hi.  It's Mandey.  I hate Christina Ricci's guts, and even more so now after seeing Black Snake Moan, which is quite...
Posted by mandey on Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:18:00 PST