Kelman - ProfilesArchive

About Me

This is where my ego lives. The side of me that resides under the monikers;
Kel
&
Kelman
&
Kelmanski
Ok, so people also often call me David (Dave) because... well I was christened as such. My full name is David William Robert Kelman, but Kelman will suffice.
Seeing as you're visiting this site you're either an admirer (they do exist, only they come rather scarcely) who knows little about me and you wanna see how "pimped" this space is and wants to know a little "About Me:", OR, you're a genuine friend just checking out the space to see how weird I've made my little slice of internet ego.
So Here's 10 fun facts about your friendly neighborhood Kelman:
10) I'm an avid composer / musician and have my own musical outlet that I have named "VIEW FROM THE FALL" but you can read more about that in my MUSIC section.
9) It's really hard to get me ill from drinking. I love to drink and unless I just haven't eaten all day it takes a real run up to get me hammered.
8) I work at the Walkabout bar in Barnsley, where I serve drinks to a multitude of obnoxious gimps and (thanks to the new shifts) destroy my sleeping pattern.
7) I have an affinity for Discographies. Saying that I have an affinity for collecting full sets of things ranging from DVDS to comic books. It's a geeks life for me.
6) I supposedly look like wolverine when left to go feral. (This involves the growth of facial topiary and letting the scruffiness consume me) I tend to wear my leather jacket a lot, and that doesn't really help deflect comparisons.
5) I'm Scottish. Only, I'm not anymore. In spirit I am a true Scotsman. I love the food. I love the cities. I love the music. I love the weather. I love the people. I love the accents. I love the whole damn country. Only, well, I don't sound Scottish. Dammit, I don't sound English either. I have trouble defining my own voice. My mother tongue does prevail when my "R's" are present.
4) I want to be a teacher some day. Thus why I'm at university right now studying "Popular Music".
3) I try to apply my life and philosophies to Buddhist teachings, and ideologies. My main problem would be alcohol. It's a big no-no if you want to take the Buddhist state of mind seriously, but the fact I'm a bartender sort of pushes me towards liking Alcohol greatly.
2) "27 Is my Zen."
1) I've never ever broken a bone in my body, but somehow have some of the nastiest head scars in the world ever.

My Interests

I'm a self confessed gamer geek. I love my XBOX360 and can honestly say that without it my life would be a very empty thing indeed. Without it, I wouldn't have chanced upon some of the greatest people I've come to know so far during my lifetime. I also wouldn't have come to the realization that I am damn good at gaming. And an outright XBL achievement whore.

Other than that I'm into most normal things. I love crazy TV shows. And due to my affinity for collecting things have almost every episode of anything on my PC.

I love being outside. I enjoy traveling. I could walk for miles on end if I'm given an iPod and some free time to myself.

I love reading and regardless of author or topic I can read anything if you give me a quite corner and an infinite supply of Tea / Coffee / Irn Bru.

I'd like to meet:

Maynard James Keenan. My HERO - The guy's a genius. There's not enough I can say about the man.

Justin Currie / Del Amitri. My ASPIRATION - To be a truly talented Scottish musician like this man would be my absolute dream.

The Ideal Woman. My FANTASY - Hey everyone is looking for that special someone.

Music:

Here's a little something I cooked up earlier... this Is my music.

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I thought It would be best if I wrote some new stuff on here so here goes. I recently had 2 profiles, but decided to delete the one I used for my band, because "4 Songs Is just not enough". My new music page is a click away.

I play both Guitar and Bass (plus I sing) and these are my 2 weapons of choice.

My Guitar - Yamaha RGX 370FZ

My Bass - Washburn T14

I'm writing lots of melodies and riffs right now, but could really use the help of a drummer or some better samples so that I have some form of beat and structure to these songs.

I also like to record other musicians. There's obviously a nominal fee but nothing nearly as large as what most "professional" studios charge.

I operate Cubase SX3 on a customised computer that has an awsome Soundcard that pretty much rattles the foundations of my house.

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In reference to my actual "musical taste" we could be here for a very long time. So I will state my top 27 Musicians / Artists and the corresponding album that symbolises what means most to me about them for reference as to my tastes and style.

27) Hot Action Cop - Hot Action Cop
26) Bare Naked Ladies - Gordon
25) System of a Down - Mesmerise
24) Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
23) Andrew WK - I Get Wet
22) The Isley Brothers - It's Your Thing
21) Trey Parker & Matt Stone (DVDA) - N/A
20) Seal - Greatest Hits
19) Say Anything - Is A Real Boy
18) Prince - The Hits 1
17) John Frusciante - Shadows Collide With People
16) Electric Six - Senor Smoke
15) Daft Punk - Discovery
14) Limp Bizkit - Significant Other
13) Black Light Burns - Cruel Melody
12) Les Claypool's Fearless Flying Frog Brigade - Purple Onion
11) Puscifer - V Is For Vagina.
10) Primus - Antipop
09) Devo - Pioneers Who Got Scalped
08) Aphex Twin - Windowlicker EP
07) Outkast - The Love Below
06) Alien Ant Farm - Up In The Attic
05) Dredg - Live at the Fillmore
04) Coheed & Cambria - In Keeping Secrets...
03) Biffy Clyro- Puzzle
02) Del Amitri - A Hatful of Rain
01) Tool - AEnima

Movies:

I'm a horror guy at heart... and then I love my comedies. Everything else kinda falls between and makes for an enjoyable experience.

Television:

Ok, here's a small list, I'll miss stuff, it's a given fact, but hey.
South Park, Family Guy, Monarch Of The Glen (I Miss Scotland), The Simpsons, Futurama, God The Devil & Bob, Scrubs, Smallville, Almost Everything on the Paramount Comedy Channel, Most of the decent things they put on Sky One, Robot Chicken, The Man Show and many more.

Books:

"A learned man who does not restrain his passion is like a blind man holding a torch; he guides others but not himself."

"Do not reveal to a friend every secret you possess. How do you know if at some time in the future he may become an enemy?
Nor inflict on your enemy every injury that is in your power, as he may someday become your friend.
Tell no one the secret that you want to keep, although he may be worthy of confidence; for no one will be so careful of your secret as yourself."- Sa'adi

Heroes:

My Heroes... Yikes...
-Well In Worksop, there is only one man who can take the title of HERO in my eyes, and that would be my comrade Mr. R. C. Weston (That's right Remote Control Weston.)

-In Barnsley, the first local to want to befriend me, Mrs L. Rooke.

-My 2 Companions, The Knight and The Rogue, The travels we had were more fun than I could ever expect.

-My 2 most read blogs on Myspace - Joe Whittles & Andrew Baker.

-Then there are those who consider me a friend, No matter how dumb i act... There are too many to name, but know you're appreciated.

-The artists and influencial people that have given me so much inspiration in my life can't be given a miss either.

My Blog

5 Months in and only 12k to go... review time.

I actually didn't know how to start this review. All I knew going into it was that in general terms I need / want / have to write one.Lately I've been very busy with work seeing as I'm finished univer...
Posted by Kelman on Wed, 28 May 2008 03:47:00 PST

The imminent return of a long lost gamer.

Well now. Isn't this something. A new blog.I'm sorry if you guys haven't had your fill of the tasty Scottish burger that is Kelmanski, but the whole coursework thing really is a time consumer. (Sorry ...
Posted by Kelman on Mon, 12 May 2008 11:44:00 PST

Celebrate their lives.

Hey there Internet. Just doing a quick blog before I turn off the PC and my link to all of you for a week. This Saturday will be the 11th anniversary of my mother Lena's passing and If I haven't alrea...
Posted by Kelman on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:59:00 PST

Creepy happenings and a MASSIVE blade thing (The Month Ahead)

I guess I'd be daft not to mention the 2 newest games in my library. They're both pretty god damn impressive, but I can only really give them a first impressions due to the fact I've not played either...
Posted by Kelman on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 02:04:00 PST

War... Hoo Yeah! What Is It Good For?

Well If you’re to take Frontlines: Fuel of War’s opinion, OIL! And shooting Russians in the face.I’ll be honest, during my first play through this game I wasn’t really paying m...
Posted by Kelman on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 12:19:00 PST

uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss Baby

Someone is being a naughty boy.I should be doing coursework. I’ve already done... "most" of it... but right now I just want to chill. I’ve decided to listen to my profile song repeatedly c...
Posted by Kelman on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:42:00 PST

Army of T. W. O. (Totally Wasted Opportunity)

Is it me, or do you ever feel like you're pissing into the wind?Last night was a fucking heavy night and I feel like my brain has been kicked out of my stump of a head, wiped on the floor and then sho...
Posted by Kelman on Sun, 09 Mar 2008 06:03:00 PST

The Gamer Lifestyle

I think I speak for many of my friends (on both sides of the pond) when I say,"Computer games take up a massive slice of your free time"Then having said that, the friends I mentioned (myself included)...
Posted by Kelman on Tue, 26 Feb 2008 08:48:00 PST

Rotten Apples and Sour Grapes.

FUCK. Fucking Fuckety Fuck Fuck.Ok now that I've got the lower part of my point across let me just start by saying, "WHAT IS THE POINT?"Today I've been told by one of my close personal friends that th...
Posted by Kelman on Wed, 20 Feb 2008 06:51:00 PST

Review No. 3, 4 & 5

Well now. It's been a while. And someone's been a lazy boy. Asides from the fact I've done nothing but play video games lately and work my ass off, the reviews haven't been flowing as liquid smooth as...
Posted by Kelman on Tue, 19 Feb 2008 07:39:00 PST