david

I am Scottish and Irish. Which means I can drink, take a punch and hold a grudge like nobody's buisness. My father taught me the value of a dollar. (for the record: it's a dollar.) I like performing unnecessary surgery on small animals. I once transplanted a cats head to a dogs ass...it died chasing itself. I invented counting. Sometimes, when I'm bored, I like to phone the police and tell them I've done things for which I'll never be caught. In my early teens I found a rock that looks like Joe Stalin. On a moonlit night I like to whistle the theme from 'Good Times'......naked. I dated your mom. I invented organized crime, before that it was completly random. I used to know everything. Now I know very little.