Corey

I'm Corey. I'm technically 20, but this is arguable seeing how I don't acknowledge "Thursdays". I was born to deaf parents who inadvertantly lead me to believe that I was a xylaphone prodigy until I was sixteen years old. My father was one of the 900 people present at the Jonestown Massacre, but he accidentally spilled his Kool-Aid and only pretended to be dead; my mother was Helen of Troy's cat in a previous life. When I was twelve I punched-out an elderly man while playing chess in the park because his first move was to advance his pawn vertically. Two years later I learned that chess and checkers do not share the same set of rules. I can fluently speak nine different languages, but unfortunately I am disliked in each of those countries. My hobbies include: visiting cemeteries in poor areas and guessing which people had the worst lives, giving basketball clinics at UFO conventions for the abductees, asking rhetorical questions to street mimes and re-editing Pauly Shore movies with subliminal images from the Holocaust. My favorite foods are hamburgers made from cows that died in their sleep and potato chips in the shape of Jeff Goldblum. Hit me up on AIM, my SN is: DiabetesKid6969.