I can live off of peanut butter. For as long as I can remember, I have been my happiest while reading a book. I am terribly insecure. I try not to let it show. My biggest fear in life is to be left alone. I have a massive collection of black TV shows and movies, my DVD collection looks like a mini-BET. I am African American and Puerto Rican. My abundance of pride in both cultures borders on obsessive. That is OK with me. I am scared of the things I want most in life, scared I will get them and scared that I won’t. I pretend to be a diva. At heart I am more bohemian than I allow myself to admit. Some describe me as high maintenance. They don’t know the real me. Underneath my bravado, I’m an extremely simple island girl. I am learning how to trust men; it’s a slow and hard process. I try to remember to count my blessings, but I often fail. I’m constantly psychoanalyzing people and situations. I am awfully sentimental. I tend to over use “lol†when talking online. I am usually talking. Silence makes me uncomfortable. I believe beaches are spiritual places. I sometimes have anti-social phases. I live for the novel emails and 3 hour phone conversations at 1am that I share with my best friend. I crave to love for real. I crave to be loved for real. I am permanently too scared to take the jump. Hip Hop music always makes my day. I talk of the great revolutionaries, but in my heart I cannot promise I would follow their ways. I’m learning to love my stretch marks. I’m growing out of my need to gossip. I am weaning myself off of my mother’s financial support. It’s harder than I imagined. I enjoy the aroma of marijuana. I take pleasure in having a rum and coke. I love to party in my underwear, especially with my closest friends. I am not a very good dancer. I promised myself I would learn Spanish, it will be a life-long process. I light candles and recite prayers when life becomes too difficult to handle on my own. My friends are my greatest support, and I would do anything for anyone of them. I am no angel, but I know how to smile like one. And when I laugh, my whole body shakes.
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