Guru Amrit profile picture

Guru Amrit

I am here for Friends

About Me

I am currently on a hydrogen program to slowly ween me off O2. It has been 3 months, 14 days and 7 hours since my last gulp of oxygen and i am feeling GREAT. the only problem is that i am on life support because my organs dont work. on the plus side, i HAVE lost a few pounds. currently i weigh 8 lbs since i have not drank any water.
I once lied when i was two and i still have anxiety attacks because of the guilt that lies untop of my sinning soul. I am currently going to 37 support groups to get over my emotional trauma. My brother says his butt is a gun and his shit is his bullets. we've learned to install bullet proof toilets. Theyre a little more expensive, but in the long run it saves us more money. On a happy note, at the age of 7 and three quarters (with 4 days, minus three hours divided by two and fractioned over the root of pie and the area of 24) after many hospital trips and excrutiating pain, i finally mastered the art of dodging my brother's bullets..like neo. is this ridiculous enough for you? oh, and my sister laughs like the speed racer dog.
Back to me now. i hate moonlight walking on the beach. I hate walking period. ok i am just kidding. i actually collect baby porn for a living. oops, i mean baby corn. you know..the ones you get in the salad..try the ones at luby's.those are the B-E-S-T. oops, i didnt mean baby corn, i meant baby porn. ohh i like the corn, mmm pop corn. but at the movies it has waay to much butter.. mmmmmmm, butter with porn.
AHAHA, just kidding. i am perfectly normal.

My Interests

Guru Amrit will go to jail for ...

Using your dildo as a weapon of mass destruction

'What sexual activity will you go to jail for?' at QuizUniverse.com..This profile was edited with Space codes - Editor MySpace HELP Profile Help!

I'd like to meet:

a constipated caveman and totoro.   

Music:

Kings of convenience, BAD RELIGION, Carla Bruni, Tonic, Third eye blind, Sage Francis, Incubus!, Ella fitzgerald, The Matt White Band, Dashboard confessional, Suzanne Vega, spice girls (theyre better than everyone remembers), Jeff Buckley, Sarah Mclachlan, audiovent, the pink spinders, lifehouse, WEEZER!!, The strokes, Tenacious D BITCH., black eyed peas, Goo Goo dolls, AFI, My chemical romance, The Offspring, Our lady peace, Green Day, louis armstrong, Angela mcCluskey, Gypsy kings, Mana, Orishas, buena vista social club, The academy is..., Franz ferdinand, The killers, The black heart procession, Dishwalla, Harvey Danger, Letters to cleo, Natalie imbruglia, Phantom Planet, yeah yeah yeahs, Rjd2, Cafe Tacuba, Psychotic penetration (oh yeah.) you get the point.

Movies:


Boondock saints is the only movie worth mentioning. If you ever see it laying around, make sure to pick it up and put it in an alter or something.

Television:

Prison break, hells yeah. and just for the record, micheal scofield beats jack bower at anything.

Books:


memoirs of a Geisha
Da vinci Code
HITCHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY!!!
The time traveler's Wife
the god of small things
teacher's training book
NITNEM!!

Heroes:



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My Blog

i just

want to apologize for my last blog. i was pretty pissed. My sencere apologies.
Posted by Guru Amrit on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 08:17:00 PST

Never you mind.

i am so pissed i could fry ballsacks with my finger. I mean, these people are fucking sick. and i knew they wouldnt come through for me. Nobody does. but go figure. I mean, what am i doing here? and w...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 04:51:00 PST

bolivia

Well South America is awesome. it is so beautiful here and the people are so sweet. We were in santiago,chile for a couple of days and i met so many nice people! they were all very loving. and so now ...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Mon, 08 Oct 2007 08:55:00 PST

Way down south.

I am going to tour south america for a couple of weeks in a couple of days.and i am going to rock their fucking socks off.If you have an opinion about this circumstance, speak now or forever hold you ...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 10:47:00 PST

hells yeah.

Weeellll, i am quiting school. Thats right. FUCK yeah. Instead i am going to go see a career council dude, maybe take some reiki classes, work...you know...anything but school. thank the good lord abo...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 06:42:00 PST

blank.

i just want to know.what. gives them the power. to say something like that about somebody else.how. could you possibly judge somebody's level of consciousness by meeting them for 30 seconds.I mean, re...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 07:47:00 PST

dawg.

Even though it is wierd that i am not going back to india, i am getting used to living here quite fast. work is AWSOME. iam having alot of fun, and everyone there is really cool. i just cant believe ...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Sat, 25 Aug 2007 01:53:00 PST

woohoo!

I got a job at california pizza kitchen! this is pretty exciting. although, i am kind of scared at the fact that i know almost nothing about waitressing. i guess you gotta start somewhere eh?
Posted by Guru Amrit on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 03:52:00 PST

nipple cakes

I like chicago. i like the style of houses up here. all victorian and shit. lately i have been feeling down. it sucks, because its never easy, but i try to talk myself out of things i know i shouldnt ...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 10:10:00 PST

dreaming sucks.

I had the weirdest dream in mexico. i was dreaming that i was seeking help because i needed advice on my breakup and i was crawling through these miniature rooms with the help of this gnome, and when ...
Posted by Guru Amrit on Mon, 02 Jul 2007 10:54:00 PST