Fuck Ups

Too bad Mr. Laikkonen had to departure in Jyväskylä for lähihoitajakoulu. Kakaps had to split. Mr. Rockstar took his Gretsch in a local pawn shop. He got good money from it all right. Näkkileipä and tuubihernekeitto for couple more months. But it wasn't glory. Rock'n'roll days seemed to be over. The money was about to final.
Like you all know Kakaps was big, better to say HUGE at their glory days. Ice hall tournee after another in the early 80's. Kakaps won all the 13 Finland Rock SM games between 1981-84. Laikkonen and Aapeli Kolmetoista were also MM level figure skaters. They had it all, pools, kokamin, herolin, hookers, hotels and hangarounds. Finnish rock press Suosikki and Soundi followed the mighty three everywhere!
The year 1985 started with a big conflict betveen Soviet Unions palttoo army and finnish Pelastus Army. I think it was about a gas tube.. Political environment was really tence. We were living days-before-war. After couple months of negoations the situation was solwed after a succesful YYA- contract. The contract included only one chapter. Kakaps was about to to play in every kolhos and sovhos in Soviet Union!
1986 the band was about to start the biggest tour in a history of a mankind. It included 15 807 gigs around the Soviet Union. It was about to last 19 years. The tournee started well. Whole Mother Russia cheered for Mr. Laikkonen's unbelievably recogniceable double bass drum lick. But after 3000 times of Chuchroad 47 and Levoton Tuhkimo Kakaps's personal chemistry started to crack. Same set list every evening, same kind of kolhoses, same kind of matuska groupies. And Mr. Rockstar had develloped a serious medicine addiction during the tour. At the result of it he was losing his singing voice. While he couldn't sing, he turned his mic towards the audience in a middle of a every song. The show was about to turn into a accompanied karaoke. That was too much for Aapeli Kolmetoista. He pulled the break and quit.
What was going to happen for the Kolhos tour? What was going to happed for Kakaps? The band was nothing without Aapeli Kolmetoista's amazing wanna-be-bonham drum fills and sweaty head shaking. They were in a middle of biggest decisions in their coureer and Aapeli had cowardly left the group.
After three years of touring kolhoses and sovhoses Kakaps decided to quit the super tour and pay their selves out from the rest 12 807 gigs. They put all of their Teosto money and Laikkonen's mother's three years salary for the bill but it wasn't enough. Laikkonen and Mr. Rockstar entered into a prison of debt.
The two were smart. They understood that if they didn't have any incomes they wouldn't have to pay. So they decided to stay unemployed and continue playing rock'n'roll, but in a lot smaller scale than they had used to.
In the year 1990 Soviet Union collapsed. It was a year of joy for Laikkonen and Mr. Rockstar. They were released from their debt! But Laikkonen and Mr. Rockstar had got used to be unemployed. They also didn't have any education or experience from a real work so they stayed unemployed. Laikkonen and Mr. Rockstar had got a nice training room from a local Bändikeskus's spaces. They had gigged local bars and clubs. They made all their gigs in a "moonshine" (pimeinä hommina) so that they wouldn't lose their työmarkkinatuki.
Kakaps duo had hired a professional drummer Mr. Kreivi to fit the hole that Aapeli Kolmetoista left. And he did it good. Actually Mr. Kreivi was much better drummer than original. He had a better time than a metronome and all the strokes was identical. Kakaps filled the local bars really nice for some time. Then it all changed like a wind.
Laikkonen had met a nice music science student girl from Jyväskylä. They had dated for two months when the crush turned into a love. Laikkonen's new girlfriend had suggested him to get some education before he was too old. After a couple weeks of thinking Laikkonen decided to apply for a lähihoitajakoulu in Jyväskylä so that the couple would move together.
I would have never believed from such an uivelo like Laikkonen, but he got into the school. After the news Mr. Rockstar was devasted. What was going to happend for Kakaps again? Mr. Kreivi didn't mind. He was allready decided to change for Yä band, since they got better gig wages in Yä than in Kakaps.
This was the end of a legendary Porirock band Kakaps. We stay and wait for their comeback. Because it will come. At least when the money get's into the final!