So I just got a check in the mail from a friend reimbursing me, quite kindly, for an excessive beer bill incurred during his recent visit from out of town.
Apart from grinning at the generous amount of the check, I couldn't help but laugh at the face of the Cat in the Hat smiling back at me from the upper margin.And I thought. And I thought. And then I thought some more. And I thought, "This Cat in the Hat, what on earth's he here for?" I'm accustomed to seeing sunsets and such on checks that I get, but to make money Seussian makes me fret with regret. Put him on stamps, put Horton on bottles of goop for your hair, put the Lorax on bandaids for all that I care. But a cat on a check? A Cat in the Hat? Great gribbling bimpkins, what in Jehosophat's that? Dear Dr. Suess has become an insidious brand. Why, to slap all his pimps you'd need a giganticous hand! His work was once regarded as regal and tender, while now it's legal tender for every lending offender.To people the world over, the Cat in the Hat is a reality-rattling icon of disorder and imagination run rampant. Is nothing sacred? What's next? Limited Edition Bob Marley Hummers? Michael Collins Stout? Karl Marx debit cards? Che Guevara guacamole chips? "London Calling" used as a car ad jingle? What? They did that already? Bastards.
Well, before you know it, they'll buy Candlestick Park and call it something completely inane. What? Monster Park? What monster?Ah, forget it. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, as those same people say.
Caving, I ordered a few Cat in the Hat checks for myself last week.I just made the first one out to FPL for 37,419 zibberzabbers and 5 1/2 krinkles.
Take that one to the bank.
Signed,
Marvin K. Mooneywww.thebeachsideresident.com
