physics is to math as sex is to masturbation

About Me

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Sierra wrote this for me, and it's amazing, so amazing it gets to be in BOLD! Written by Ike Fucking Turner (aka tiny sierra.)
Once upon a time there was an amazing girl named Sarah. Sarah moved to a small drug-infested city and took a job as a telemarketer.
that's where she met me. I gave her jolly rancher lolly pops and we were fast friends. Sarah is always funny and always comming up with fun things to do. for example:
Across the room office hangman.
as dirty as you can get at work word association.
how much can we make sierra spit on her computer screen without the boss noticing?
And, how far can we push our co-workers before they laugh on a call?
that last one was a personal favorite.
Good things about sarah:
Sarah can cook amazing things. Like coconut sticky rice, and home made chicken soup. she also likes doing dishes and you can be fairly certain that her house will smell faintly of bleach on a sunday afternoon (which makes you feel clean and germ free.) sarcar is the queen of the random non-sequeter, you're never quite sure what you're going to get with her.
Bad things about sarah:
She refuses to dye her own hair.
she is not afraid of the things most people are afraid of and is afraid of the things most people are not, and thus is hard to predict and/or prank/scare.
she's totally hot and wont believe you if you tell her so.
she still doesnt love her breasts enough.
she's hard to convince that getting drunk and running around naked is, in fact, a good plan.
i still love her anyway.
she's also incredibly hard to write about.
let's just say she's my favorite little sister extraordinare and often i'm taken aback at how wonderful she really is.

I call the steps to assemble things "destructions" for a very important reason.
I'm only accident prone with other people's things...sorry about that sideview mirror Mindy!
If you can verbally abuse a boy until he cries, you've won the bitchlympics

My Interests

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My Blog

dookdook

today had to stick something up my baby's butt to get him to poop so he'd stop screaming. Got pissed on in the process, not to mention had to watch the whole dooky show. Welcome, welcome to parenting!
Posted by on Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:32:00 GMT

nom

today i made apple butter. It is made of awesome and win. Also, apples.
Posted by on Thu, 03 Sep 2009 13:42:00 GMT

today

as i danced around the kitchen with the baby, listening to static-x, i wondered what the hell he was going to listen to in his teen years to piss me off.
Posted by on Mon, 13 Jul 2009 11:27:00 GMT

the verdict is in

after resizing the damn thing, my favorite baby carrier is definitely the wrap. It's thus far much more secure than the ring sling or the pouch, and easier to adjust than that fucking ring sling by a ...
Posted by on Sun, 05 Jul 2009 03:36:00 GMT

Today

was awesome. I definitely totally scrubbed me some carpets.Carpet shampooing is dangerous, leaky work. I don't recommend it.Stupid loose sphincter cat.The day after tomorrow? Bedrooms! If we're feelin...
Posted by on Sat, 04 Jul 2009 11:15:00 GMT

i watched scrubs today

because scrubs is awesome; well, it was until it made me cry.I started thinking about mom - the sad stuff first, of course. The painful parts, the things i don't want to think about, the images that a...
Posted by on Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:58:00 GMT

Chicken

I'm roasting a chicken today, and thus i am brining it...Gotta say, it looks awfully sad in that water, all white and goose-pimply and floating. Never thought i'd have the visual equivalent of a drown...
Posted by on Tue, 16 Jun 2009 12:09:00 GMT

sometimes

simple things make me happy, like having learned the order to read my webcomics in so that i never have to type in an address after the first one, because one links to the other, links to the other, l...
Posted by on Tue, 26 May 2009 14:54:00 GMT

8 52

This morning, i was listening to music, and i said "who is this? Sounds like Blondie." It wasn't, it was the B-52's. I turned away from the computer for a few moments and wondered, "what time is it? I...
Posted by on Sat, 23 May 2009 05:53:00 GMT

Breastfeeding

Is way more of a goddamn pain in the ass than any medical professional ever really wants to tell you.Fer serious.So is pumping breastmilk. i know more moms that couldn't than could.Not fair. Stupid bo...
Posted by on Mon, 13 Apr 2009 10:48:00 GMT