Facehair: The Almighty

I'm a cool guy. I work, I go to school, I practice taekwondo. I've become something of a skeptical, cynical, and critical person. However, most of the time I simply have my thoughts and keep them to myself. I am not a quick and witty thinker, which is probably why I enjoy arguing with people on the internet rather than in person. I am almost constantly listening to the Dave Matthews Band. I eat Chipotle all the time. Why? Because it's good. And I'm pretty sure I've eaten so much of it in the last few years that my DNA is 40% meat byproduct. The two things in this world that fascinate me the most are religion and the way a child's mind works and thinks. I seem to know a lot of people, but have a small circle of friends. People seldom like me when they first meet me, and it's because I'm awkward. I'm slightly OCD, and as I become more aware of my OCD behaviors, it progressively gets worse. It bothers me that my sideburns are never even. I try to make jokes to relieve tension, but most people don't like dead baby jokes, so that usually makes things worse. I have this strange, somewhat comforting attraction to the pentacle. If I ask for some ketchup and you hand me refrigerated ketchup, I'll throw it back at you. However, refrigerated mustard is okay in my book. The thought of McDonald's grosses me out. People usually stare at me, but they're only human. I can't help it that I have a sweet ass! I'm a psuedo-arrogant self-hating narcissist who just needs to be loved.
I have seen things you couldn't imagine. I've been to KFC where the Drive-Thru clerk told me they were out of chicken. I've been to a Round Table Pizza that was out of dough. I've seen two Dunkin' Donuts' across the street from one another. I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. These, my friends, are all signs of the End of the Universe. We live in a crazy, sometimes bass ackwards world. Get used to it.
I think making sense all the time is overrated. Sometimes you just have to randomly spout off a sentence that either has no proper grammatical formation, no relevance to anything, void of a tangible, coherent thought, or a combination of all three. Example:
Ever wonder why broccoli is so reluctant to play checkers? The answer lies in trepidation. We are creatures of shoelace, lost in purple. The koala knows...
Oh and one more thing. I am a nerd. Yes, I play video games. Yes, I read. Yes, I love Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and Firefly. Yes, I play World of Warcraft. It may not be the "cool" thing, to do, but goddammit, I enjoy it all! So I say w00t to that! And if you don't like it, go suXor my coXor because I roXor my own soXors! kthxbai! ^_^
You know, on second thought, maybe I'm probably not that cool of a guy afterall...
GO POLLITOS!!