Bones F

I don't know where the fook I live. By post it is Worsley, Manchester. By a bearded taxi driver it is Walkden, Salford. I've looked at a map and in 1816 it was Upper Worsley, but I have a new map which is older than the other one that says I live in Engine Fold. That's what it was called in 1690. All I know is that my cousin Joost from Canada (Paschedaele was a great film and I'm glad that the Canadian's efforts and sacrifice in The Great War has been given the tribute it deserves. i just wish that the film had been hyped more. Britain owes so much to Canada that I think Canada should be called Sir Canada. The reason we all wear poppies on Nov 11 is because of the poem that John MaCrea wrote "In Flanders fields" ) traced our family history back to 1650 and all my ancestors have done is doss around with cotton. (apart from my uncle Stan who decided to kill someone on a whim - maybe Stan was bored cos he didn't the have the interuptions that older members of my family had- 3 of my great grandads were rudeley interupted by General Kitchener and I remember my grandad moaning about the Nazis bombing Salford docks whilst he was trying to have a cup of tea. I love playing various instruments. I am passionate about sharks (especially the Carcharinus Luecus as I've caught one and he said to me "You win this time, Fowler!" I didn't even know we were in a competition, but we are good friends now so that is irrelevent. I regret a lot of things that I have done and am willing to make up for them if you would only give me the chance. I didn't mean to kill that Elvis impersonator, I meant to kill the Cliff Richard impersonater. I believe in Ghosts, UFOs, Frankenstien, Godzilla and other outlandish biengs. Dracula is a taj too far. I don't understand films like Halloween and Friday the 13th cos the baddie is just a bloke with a knife. Why doesn't anyone just get themselves a knife and have a go back? Personally I'd tell my nextdoor neighbour, Adam, that there is a nutter on the loose and that we should either ring the police or wait for him to come and then batter him. Either way it's not much skin off my back. I can't speak for Adam, but I'm sure he'd agree. A nuclear war would be a problem though. I have my bomb shelter under my house. Ask Lisa. I only have 1 can of tomato soup in it and a litre of water in it at the moment. (The water is in an R Whites bottle - does water go off? I'm fucked after nuclear war if it does). The fundamental error is that if a Nuclear bomb does go off over Manchester (Fuckers!!! Who did that!!), My house will fall down blocking my escape route. Mind you after getting forced to watch "Threads" in school I reckon that all things rampant should be the first port of call. Mind you, I'm not sure that a fruity fruiton could be possible with the knowledge of your imminent death playing on your mind. I love cats. They are proper smug. Silly little things if you think about it. They are the opposite of dogs, according to the children St Gilbert's primary school, Eccles. I saw that on Granada reports. Children are the future that bloke out of Krypton Factor said. I fookin hope so! When the captain of your school football team gets his legs and arm blown off in a country you don't care about you think Zippy should be prime minister.Boomshanka