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Christian MySpace GraphicsThe soul purpose of this website is Christian Based and we will not discriminate you because of religion,culture background or family beliefs please feel free to add us in ur favorites once you have read the information and paged through our website.Violence refers to any behaviour that hurts someone and makes them feel afraid. Violence can happen anywhere, at anytime, to anyone. It can happen in relationships, it can be a random act, or it can be deliberately planned. One specific type of violence is bullying. Bullying refers to one or more people teasing, being violent towards or harassing somebody on an ongoing basis. Violence and bullying can be traumatic. Although it often feels as though there is nothing you can do about it, there are a number of things you can do to stop or prevent violence and abusive behaviour and to improve your safety. It is important to talk to someone you trust about what is happening to you and to find ways to improve your safety.Breaking the Cycle of Violence A violent relationship may not be violent all the time. Some of the time, violent people treat their boyfriend or girlfriend very well. They can be very loving and sorry for their violent behaviour. This can make it hard to see what's really happening. There is a strong chance that the violence will get worse over time and the relationship more abusive.After a violent event, it's common for both of you to try and make it ok by making excuses, apologising, or promising to change. But there is no excuse for this behaviour, and just saying sorry is not good enough. Sometimes the violent person will blame the victim - "it wouldn't happen if you did what I said". Things might settle down for a while - the abuser may feel guilty, and you might try to go along with whatever they want. Usually it's only a matter of time before the build-up to violence starts again.If you are experiencing violence in a relationship, things can feel very confusing, especially if it's your first relationship. You might try to make excuses, think of it as a one-off incident or something that only happened because your boyfriend or girlfriend was drunk or stressed. You might not be sure what behaviour to expect from them. You might begin to think that the violence is your fault. You might start to try to fit in with whatever they want, even if it makes you uncomfortable. You might also feel scared that they will hurt you if you try to leave.Breaking up any kind of relationship is hard to do, but it can be particularly hard to leave a violent relationship. When you are frightened and your self-esteem is low, it can be hard to find the strength to leave or break-up. It's sometimes easier to hope that things will change for the better. Too often they don't.But the first step in changing things is to understand what's been happening is wrong. Even if they say they care about you and you care about them, it's not OK to be treated like this.You might notice big changes in behaviour when someone you know has been a victim of abuse.What to Look For • Are they losing interest in activities they used to enjoy?• Are they overly worried about what their boyfriend or girlfriend thinks?• Are they mainly happy when they are with their boyfriend or girlfriend or are they worried and anxious?• Are they concerned that their boyfriend or girlfriend may get angry about something either you or they might say or do?• Are they making excuses for them all the time?• Are they avoiding friends and social activities that don't involve their girlfriend or boyfriend?• Do they joke about their boyfriend's or girlfriend's violent outbursts?• Have they had unexplained injuries or do the explanations they give seem odd or unlikely?• Has their behaviour changed dramatically since they started seeing their boyfriend or girlfriend?Sexual assault is a crime. It can be hard to accept that someone you care about has deliberately hurt you. It's not just about hitting. Abuse can also include using force or fear to make you do things that you don't want to do.Forcing you to have sex when you don't want to, or forcing you into having sex by making you think you will be harmed if you don't, is a serious criminal offence.'Sexual assault' in everyday language is a general term, which includes rape, but also other offences such as indecent assault. The definitions and labels for sexual offences differ slightly - in some states sex without consent is called 'rape', in others it is called 'sexual assault', 'sexual intercourse without consent', or 'sexual penetration without consent. Why do People Sexually Assault Others? Sexual assault is not about offenders getting pleasure from sex, but rather about them asserting power and control over someone else. Some offenders have been abused themselves, but this is not always the case and there is no evidence that being a victim/survivor of sexual assault means that a person will become a perpetrator. Sexual assault is a crime and is never justified. It is never the fault of the victim.How Sexual Assault Might Effect You Everyone reacts to sexual assault differently. It can have a range of immediate, short-term and long-term effects on physical and emotional well-being. Effects can include:• Shock & Denial - e.g. "Has this really happened to me?", "Why me?"; an inability to accept that it has really occurred.• Fear - Of the offender, of getting close to other people, of being alone, or of having to deal with the medical, legal or social consequences of the crime, and of being rejected because of the experience.• Silence - Being unable to talk about the assault, to describe what it means or feels like; afraid of being judged.• Anxiety- Being unable to relax or feel safe.• Depression - Feeling sad and as if things are hopeless.• Guilt & Blame - A feeling of "Why did I go there/allow it/not fight back?".• Low Self-Esteem - Feeling unworthy, not confident or deserving, feeling ashamed and dirty.• Isolation - Wanting to be alone, closed off from family and friends.• Nightmares & Flashbacks - Images and memories of the assault intruding on daily life and sleep.• Mood Swings - Going from anger and rage to tears and despair.• Loss of Confidence - In work, in study, in social and intimate relationships.• Loss of Trust - Within social or family relationships.• Being afraid or uncomfortable about sexual relationships.Communication Communication is important for all relationships. Surveys report that guys in particular are anxious about communication. Many feel that they need to "have a few drinks" before they are able to talk to girls. Sometimes they might need help to find more positive ways to handle shyness and the fear of rejection.Without communication there can be no real relationship. If communication is poor or not valued, negotiating the boundaries of the relationship will be difficult, if not impossible. Poor communication can lead to conflicting expectations, especially about sex. Sex without consent is sexual assault - there is no room for confusion.Stay Safe and Play it Safe Most violence against women occurs within a relationship - that's why learning how to build healthy relationships is so important. But trouble can happen outside relationships with strangers or people you don't know well. Think about the things you can do to keep safe and out of trouble. This might include:• Plan to go out and hang out in a group. • Go with people you feel safe with and who you know have your best interests at heart. • Look out for yourself and your friends - good friends make sure that their friends are safe and make safe choices. • Have some transport plans to make sure you can get there and back safely. • Let someone know (parents, brother/ sister, housemate) where you are going, and when you'll be home. If your plans change let them know. • Alcohol and sex can be a dangerous mix. If you are not in control of yourself, you won't be able to control the situation. • Remember if you are so drunk that you don't know if the other person is consenting - stop. It could be rape. When you know that the other person is so drunk they may not be capable of giving consent - don't do it - because this would be rape. • Avoid being alone and isolated with someone you don't know well. If you start to feel uncomfortable, go with your feelings, and get to a safe place as fast as you can.Agreeing to one type of activity such as kissing doesn't mean there is a 'green light' for other sexual contact - remember it's ok to change your mind and say "no" at any stage. You shouldn't stop being careful just because you know the person you're with - you may not know them as well as you think. So dont feel bullied into doing what the other person is requiring of you, just remember Youth its your choice to say no and if you have been forced into a situation where it has become so unbearable for you then go to an adult you feel you can trust and talk about the ordeal you have been through you shouldnt have to feel that you have no one and that your life is useless, you are precious in Gods eyes and The Lord will help you through this horrible ordeal you been through, but its your choice to continue being bullied in your relationship whether at work home or social activities God doesnt allow abuse in the home, be of good courage and motivate yourself to change the situation if you can, we are prayer warriors who will stand behind you and intercede on your belhalf, be encouraged we love you and just remember youre not alone Also just before i end my notes there is a topic or an issue i would like to raise and that is abuse in your church,abuse coming from the eldership and Pastor should be addressed as soon as possible before it gets out of hand, the first and most thing a Pastor should do in his church is Love God believe in the Trinity Father son and Holy Ghost the pastor should lay his life down for his followers if he wants to be a leader in his congregation, teach husbands to love there wives be a Godly influence on his home towards his wife and children, and also teach on the subject of wives submitting to there husbands in such a manner as to follow the Lord, if your Pastor is addressing this in church, he is looking out for his followers and looking out for the lords Sheep, but if your Pastor is condeming You for not Being a good wife or husband or parent and slanders to the next Person about what you said in Private to the Pastor About then it is a great issue to follow up, perhaps you cant do anything,One of the dark secrets in the church is the amount of abuse that takes place in so many homes, from pastors and those in leadership down to the person in the pew. Remember, these are not homes of people who deny God’s existence, reject the Bible as Truth, or have rejected the love of Christ. These are homes of people who do believe in God, do believe the Bible is Truth, and do believe in Jesus! These are also homes where one spouse is abusing the other, and in some cases, both spouses are abusing each other! To people on the outside, these may look like perfect marriages. Only the husband and wife know that there is a dark side to their marriage, abuse.God is in the Art of Restoration And He wants to be Your Father But You Have Been Burnt in the Spiritual Sense, again youre not alone there are thousands of People who have been hurt Spiritually So they turn to something else to comfort them another religion or cult, there is no condemnation for those that love Jesus, For instance if you have layed down your life For Jesus before and you have been abused by certain doctrins then You Have Gods support in this, research is important find out what you know about your church and the Leadership Please understand that God NEVER intended you or anyone to be abused So Take Courage My friend God Loves You, I pray for Wisdom over Your lives that God will impart his word, knowledge and wisdom through to you the listener I pray the Lord Will guide you through whatever you are facing now whether it be financial Hard ship, spousal Abuse,child abuse,church abuse,or work related abuse whatever you are facing the Lord will give you Peace of Mind and will start to mend the spiritual bridge that has been lost between those that are looking for direction and help, we Love You and want to be a help we are interceding on Your behalf, Thankyou Yeshua for The shelter in times of storms, in you i put my trust, God bless everyone and remember there is no easy fix solution to any problem you might be facing your healing can come to day or in the next few monthsa or the next year but be guaranteed the God is working in your life, we urge you to take up the sinners prayer for your protection~For those who know the Lord as their Savior, they have no excuse for not calling on His name. We all sin and do things we wish we didn’t do. The key, however, is recognizing our sinful actions, repenting, and asking the Lord to forgive us. We need to remember that when we are weak, He is strong, and to call upon His strength to live a life pleasing and acceptable to the Lord. God does not desire anyone to abuse their spouse but to love them like He loves us. God does not desire that anyone lives in an abusive marriage, or abusive situation but one of peace and love with Christ at the center. We Love You Take care and remember God loves you amen:D