The details of my life are inconsequential....very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentless self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15 year old prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the Spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in burlap bags and beaten with reeds - pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I recieved my first scribe. At the age of 14 a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There is nothing like a shorn scrotom....it's breathtaking - I suggest you try it! Right now i'm trying to be a real happy guy, i just walk around being real happy, till some jerk says something stupid to me!! In college I got this part-time job as a circus clown, and the children would laugh and laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge. One time I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know. If I could be a bird, I think I'd be a penguin, because then I could walk around on two feet with a lot of other guys like me. I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger. Its been said that a fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.
What is your past life? How did you die?
by whisperinghope
Name
Age
Way In sleep, peacefully. LUCKY!
Past Life Wolf.
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