146546538

Weekday Breakfast Show presenter on BBC Radio Devon in Plymouth and commentator for Plymouth Argyle matches.
Available on 95.7FM, DAB Digital Radio and Digital Radio Mundial (DRM) in Plymouth and south-west Devon, I also have the honour of being the station's voice for the greatest team in English football.
As well as following the fortunes of Plymouth Argyle, I am also a huge fan of American Football. Recently, I was asked by BBC Radio London to cover the first NFL regular season game to be played outside North America when the Miami Dolphins met the New York Giants at Wembley Stadium.
The Plymouth Breakfast Show is THE show for Plymothians to wake up to. Its a fulsome breakfast - no commercials which means its full of local content, plenty of guests including local live music, reflecting the true flavour of Plymouth life.
In other words, its great presenting a Breakfast Show where I don't have to play the same playlisted music each day, and being told how long (or short!) my links have to be. You just know when you are listening to a radio station constantly bleats on about a 'better music mix' or 'more music variety' that the presenter is under instruction to say that every time the microphone is switched on - and the mix probably means the music may just be in a slightly different order than it was the day before.
I love to have fun with our listeners. Just one example is the compilation of our Breakfast Show lists. Here's a selection, and feel free to send me a message if you would like to add to any of the lists - hope you enjoy them ...
TV FOR YOUNGSTERS
If programme makers made versions of adult programmes for children, how would the Radio Times listings look?
My First Emmerdale Farm
Some Babysitters Do Ave 'Em
Strictly Come Crawling
How Safe Is Your Cot?
Watchpuppy
Z-Purrs
Daddy’s Army
Who Wants Extra Pocket Money
E-oh E-oh
The Old Penny Whistle Test
The Bill and Ben
Escape to the Playground
Neighbours’ Kids
How Clean Is Your Wendy House?
Yell of the Day
The Vicar of Dribbley
Only Fools and My Little Ponies
Ramsay’s Kitchen Night Nights
BINGO LINGO FOR PLYMOUTH
1 Kings Tamerton
2 Tamar View
3 Up Crabtree!
4 Hoe Foreshore
5 Deer Park Drive
6 Mr Cohen.s box of tricks
7 Radio Devon
8 Hoe Gate
9 Up the line
10 Oreston
11 Pub at St Levan
12 John Delve
13 Bowling Green
14 Laira Green
15 Come on you Greens
16 Field of bricks
17 Honicknowle Green
18 Ernesettle Green
19 Ham Green
20 Horn of Plenty
21 Albion
22 The Lake at Hooe
23 The Cherry Tree
24 Johnny Hore
25 Southway Drive
26 Luggy’s tricks
27 Home Park Heaven
28 Frankfort Gate
29 Brittany Line
30 Luggy's glee
31 Drake's Drum
32 The Fortescue
33 Hartley
34 Green for sure
35 Mount Wise
36 Andy Hicks
37 Summerfield Kevin
38 A38
39 Golden Hind
40 Union Street naughties
41 Aquarium
42 Moor View
43 Saga of Wotton’s knee
44 That’s Ford
45 Devils revived
46 Farley’s bics
47 Tudor Evans
48 Fore Street Gate
49 Drake Circus design
50 Dewdney's pasty
51 Paul Stapleton
52 Drake’s Statue
53 Argyle for me
54 Lee Moor
55 Ham Drive
56 Charles Cross nick
57 Argyle’s chosen eleven
58 St Levan’s Gate
59 The Cornwall Line
60 Pottery Quay
61 Lipson
62 Living in Hooe
63 Justin Leigh
64 Burrator
65 A Tom Daley dive
66 Pennycomequick
67 Athenaeum
68 Frankfort Gate
6 till 9 Sparksy time
70 Central Library
71 Citadel gun
72 Dunstone View
73 Elfordleigh
74 Sheepstor
75 Southway Drive
76 Warner's pics
77 Best city in Devon
78 Queen’s Gate
79 The Gunnislake line
80 Traffic lights aplenty
81 Aggie Weston
82 The Mutley loo
83 Forder Valley
84 Edge of Moor
85 Bretonside
86 Wotton's free kicks
87 Boy racers revvin’
88 Albert Gate
89 Hemerdon Mine
90 On The Hoe
NONSENSE ON MENUS
When plain English would have explained it perfectly
Medallion of pork
A cappucino of white beans
Spring mushroom chivet
Boudin noir - it’s a black pudding Plin of rabbit
Orange-jaggery gastrique
An infusion of chocolate
Millefeuille of aubergine
Gateau of grilled vegetables
Bouillabaisse of sardines
Bruschetta or crostini,- it’s toast
Jus or a coulis - its gravy
Daube or a tagine - it’s stew
Pot au feu d'agneau aux pommes de terre et aux oignons - it’s Lancashire hotpot A carpaccio of courgette
Navarin of lobster
Fatigueed vegetables
Truffled amuse bouche
Pan fried chicken with a confit of its’ leg
SEND ME A TEXT MESSAGE
Listeners were asked to send one text message, either ‘received’ or ‘sent’. We then linked all the messages sent to the show to come up with the following:
(For your convenience, some messages have been translated from text speak into legible English)
Eat my cherry pie. That’s too large, smaller is better. Hope no-one nicked your wrinkle cream.
Argyle losing. What a start. Liverpool winning. So are Chelsea. Harry Redknapp arrested. So is Leicester chairman.
We like Sweden best so far. We had a gas leak in the road two days ago. What do you think the chances are of having the hole filled in by Christmas?
I'll be outside with the car. Your’e lovely pink car. Nope mate, I'm only in here until seven. Then I'm going home to watch the footie. I’m tied up today, free tomorrow until four. Sorry. I meant tomorrow. Thanks. I remembered for a change. No problems.
Hope you're ok. That’s OK if he doesn’t breathe! I love you loads.
Pass me a donut. Kettle’s on.
Don't drag the double down the stairs as I only need a single tonight. I think there are eight to ten of my lot. I will let them know.
Just leaving now mate. Yeah really sorry. I didn't mean to be late. It's the buses that don't show up this early. Its a boy and everything looks fine. We got a picture. I have no slides, sorry mate.
Don t forget the Angel Delight! Don't forget your promise. Four poofs and a piano.
You don’t need curtains for your PC. I do because I’ve got windows.
How about this Keith. Good game?
Feeling better this week? You on your way back home now for fireworks?
Have I Told You Lately That I Love You? I'm not well.
MY FIRST PERFUME
Tommy Girl
Samsara
Byzance
Jolie Madame
Californian Poppy
Jazz
Paco Rabin
Evening in Paris
Tramp
Devon Violets
Aqua Manda
MY FIRST AFTERSHAVE
Hai Karate
Jazz
Old Spice
XS
Aramis
Brut
Norsca
Kouros
Blue Stratos
Cedarwood
Denim
Friktion
Cougar
APPROPRIATE SONGS FOR SPORTS VENUES
Green Green Grass of Home Park
Into The Valley
Rainbow Valley
Down In The Valley
Soldier Fields of Gold
Murrayfields of Gold
Blinded By The Stadium of Light
I Am a Linesman at The County Ground
In the Arms of St Mary's
Sixfields of Gold
Pride Park In The Name of Love
My White Hart Lane Will Go On
Stamford Bridge over Troubled Water
I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Roker Nuts
I'm Leaving On a Jet Plainmoor
Virginia Plainmoor
Deepdale Dippy
Molineux and a Dog Named Boo
Just Like Jesse St James Park
I'm Emirates the Eighth I Am
Upton Park Girl
Goodison Park Life
Rule Britannia Stadium
Goodbye Yellow Brickfields Road
Millennium Stadium
Take Me Home Park Roads
Oval and Oval Again
Working for the Yankee Stadium Dollar
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS
Listeners called to complete the phrase: "You’ll never see me …"
… dancing
… on a Sunday
… get a round in
… naked
… in a skirt
… in a public loo
… eating oysters
… eating aubergines
… use reverse gear
… kissing the missus
… at Sid James Park
… up a mountain
... towing a caravan
… walking on the Moon
… refusing a drink
… working on a Sunday
… getting drunk
… watching Argyle play Exeter in a Football League game again
… in an Exeter shirt
LISTENERS REVEAL SLEEPING IN STRANGE PLACES
A coal heap in Cork Harbour, Ireland. Had one over the top and didnt realise the Ship had moved up the Jetty 500 yards on the tide.
My cab
On top of a skyscraper in Miami
Under a church organ
In the middle of the desert on top of a table with 29 Commando
A park bench in Auckland, New Zealand
A chair outside Dingles in a January sale queue
Bere Ferrers school hall.
A roll of carpet in a garage
The back of a lioness cage
The middle of Yelverton roundabout
In a tent, not realising we had camped on the 1st fairway of Mumbles golf course
Spain , on a cold floor outside an apartment
At a guest house in Blackpool, knocked on the door, said to Landlady we would like to stay here. She said, well flipping stay there, and shut the door.
IF SINGERS LET SPORT TAKE OVER THEIR THOUGHTS, HOW COULD THAT HAVE AFFECTED THEIR BACK CATALOGUE ?
Abba - Summer in the Birmingham City
Katie Melua - There are Nine Milk Race Bicycles in Beijing
Cliff Richard - I Just Don't Have The Heart of Midlothian
Tom Jones - What's New Pussy Mike Catt ?
Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Arsenal
Renaissance - Bradford Northern Lights
KT Tunstall (KT Turnstile?) - Hold On There's Still Five Minutes of Injury Time
Ian Dury (if he was at St James Park, Exeter) What A Waste of Time
Pet Shop Boys - West Ham Girls
Elton John - Half Time Love
Alison Moyet - That Ole Devil Called 15-Love
Love Affair - Everlasting Love-30
Wham - Wake Me Up Before You Coe Coe
Christie - Yellow Card
Phil Collins - Something In The Ayr United Tonight
Elvis - Plymouth Devils In Disguise
Slade - Morecombe Feel the Noise
Tom Jones - The Green Green Grass of Home Park
Eric Clapton - I Shot Putt The Sheriff
Anything by Lilly Allen Nalis
Anything by The The Ollies
Marvin Gaye - I Hurdle It Though The Grapevine
The Doors - Raiders of the Storm
Sting - Brickfields of Gold
Wizzard - Home Park Incident
KT Tunstall - All Blacks Horse & The Cherry Tree Crowded House - Four Football Seasons In One Day
The changing rooms at Crystal Palace
Dolly Parton - Fully Seated By Your Man Due To New Regulations

FAVOURITE SANDWICHES
Bacon and fried onions
Brie and canberry
Chip butty with real butter and brown sauce
Fried egg sandwich
Tuna and sweetcorn
Bubble and squeak in it, and then a runny egg on top
Crisp butty
A toasted cheese sarnie with poached egg on top
Bacon sandwich
Cheese and tomato
Turkey and cranberry
Cheese and jam
"Unroll" a swiss roll and put it in bread and butter
Crunchie peanut butter
Peanut butter and apricot jam
Crispy smoked bacon
Egg Mayo
Cream cheese and smoke salmon
Crispy bacon and brie with walnut
Tuna and blue cheese
Black Pudding & Mustard
Cheese, tomato and crisps
Marmite, lemon curd and cheese
Cold sausage with strong marmalade
CELEBRITIES YOU‘D LIKE TO OVERHEAR BEING INTRODUCED AT PARTIES
Dale Winton & Bill Clinton: “Mr Clinton, Mr Winton. Mr Winton, Mr Clinton.”
Yoko Ono & Bono: “Ono, Bono. Bono, Ono.”
David Jason & James Mason: “Mr Jason, Mr Mason. Mr Mason, Mr Jason.”
Quentin Crisp & Chris Quentin: “Quentin, Mr Quentin, Mr Quentin, Quentin.”
Tony Blair & Isla St Clair: “Blair, St Clair. St Clair, Blair.”
Elton John & Ben Elton: “Elton, Mr Elton. Mr Elton, Elton.”
Anneka Rice & Posh Spice: “Rice, Spice. Spice, Rice.”
Robert Plant & Hugh Grant: “Mr Plant, Mr Grant. Mr Grant, Mr Plant.”
Debby Harry & Amanda Barry: “Miss Harry, Miss Barry. Miss Barry, Miss Harry.”
Ken Russell & Darcey Bussell: “Russell, Bussell. Bussell, Russell.”
Sean Bean & Steve McQueen: “Bean, McQueen. McQueen, Bean.”
Ken Dodd & P Diddy: “Doddy, Diddy. Diddy, Doddy.”
Ken Dodd, P Diddy & Bill Oddie: “Doddy, Oddie, Diddy. Oddie, Diddy, Doddy. Diddy, Doddy, Oddie.”
Kevin Gallen & Lily Allen: “Gallen, Allen. Allen, Gallen.”
Kevin Gallen, Lily Allen & Rory Fallon: “Gallen, Allen, Fallon. Allen, Gallen, Fallon. Fallon, Gallen, Allen.”
Roger Daltrey, Pete Townsend, John Entwhistle & Sharon Watts: “Who, Watts. Watts, Who.”
Alan Hansen and Charles Manson: "Hanson, Manson. Manson, Hansen."
John Arne Riise & Mother Theresa: "Mother Theresa, Mr Riise. Mr Riise, Mother Theresa."
BAND AND SINGER SEQUELS
Names that could be given on their comebacks
Tom Petty and the Heart Patients
Frankie Changes Planes and Proceeds to Hawaii
The Beach Grandfathers
Mike and the Mechanical Zimmers
Dave Dee Dozy, Beaky, Mick, Tich and the Night Nurse
Gerry and the Triple Bypasses
The Shadows would become The Blackouts or The Ghosts
Foreigner - Illegal Immigrants
Blue would become Grey
Musical Youth - Musical Oldies
The Stranglers - The Hangmen
Martha and The Muffins - Maggie and the Stale Crusts
UB 80
Thin Lizzy - Fat 40 Something
Roy Wood - Roy MDF
Mamas and Papas - Grannies and Grandads
Chairman of the Board - Fat Cats
The Rolling Stones - The Breeze Blocks
Bob Marley and the Moaners
Pink - Off white
Status Quo - All Change
Gerry Rafferty - Gerry Ricketty
The Sweet - The Sour
T Rex - The Fossils
Dry Dry Dry
ABC - XYZ
Duran Duran - You Walked You Walked
Pet Shop Boys - Supermarket Trollies
Sting - Stung
Herman's Hermits - Crab
Mud - Dust
Frankie Laine - Frankie Motorway
U2 - U3A
The Beatles - The Beatless
The Platters - The Tea Plates
SHOPS NO LONGER IN PLYMOUTH
Arcadia, Drake Circus
Bejam, Mayflower St
Blakes the chemist
Boolds, the hat shop
Bowden Sports, Mayflower St
C & A, Drake Circus
C & F Watts
Capps the opticians, Old Town St
Charles Harding, Mutley Plain
Churchill's, fish shop, Mutley Plain
CityBus kiosk, Royal Parade
CJ Parks, chemist
Clement Clark opticians, Drake Circus
Costers, New George St
Deebles electrical shop
Dunns
John Dean, tailor, Cornwall St
D&E Shoes
Dilleighs
Dunns
Easton's, butchers, Union St
Edna Sherrill, florist
Fifty Shilling Tailor
Finches
Fine Fare
Garrett's furniture shop, Catherine St
Greggs, Cornwall St
Hector Poe, tailor, Cornwall St
Hendy
Hilda Haddon, Mutley Plain
Jay's furniture shop, Ebrington St
Jeeves and Hawkes
Jerome's, New George St
Jimmy Hughes mens' outfitters
Jock's Chinese laundry, Albert Road
John Conway, Cornwall St
John Wheelers
John Yeo, New George St
Jon and Jane fashions, Drake Circus
Jones's Butchers, Catherine St
Kibbys
Levy and Slogget
Libras, Drake Circus
Liptons
Mike Farnworth Sports, Cornwall St
Moons, New George St
Moons electrical retailers, North Hill
Mumfords, Mutley Plain
Pelosi Ice Creams
Pengellys
Percy Leskin
Pete Russell's Hot Record store, New George St
Pike's motor cycle shop Union St
Plymouth Fruiterers
Popes
Pophams
Priors, Union St
Rival Records, Royal Parade
Roberts the newsagent, Mutley Plain
Russells
Saccone and Speed, Catherine St
Sambles, bakers, Deptford Place
Sellicks
Scott's, Union St
Skewes Brothers
Smarts furniture shop
Spooners, New George St
Squires clothes shop, Cornwall St
Sweet and Sons, Union St
Timothy White, New George St
Taylors
Tesco, Drake Circus
Three Towns Dairy, Hoegate St
Tozers, New George St
Tozers in Devonport
Uglows Bakery, Newport St
Van Allen, City Centre
Wheelers, Mutley Plain
Whipple the butcher
Whiteman's, opticians, Drake Circus
Williams Furniture, Drake Circus
Without delay cleaners
Woods, chemist
Youngs toyshop, Cornwall St
LISTENERS THAT ARE JUST ONE LETTER OR SYLLABLE AWAY FROM BEING FAMOUS
Kenny Hill
Lenny Hill
Ricky Davies
Shane Connolly
Jim Rice
Carolyn Monroe
David Plunkett
Shirley Massey
Will Haley
Rob Stewart
PHRASES YOU HATE - OR ARE COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS
Bear with me
Not at all (when replying to someone who says thank you)
At the end of the day
It's not rocket science
I wouldn't like to say
To be honest (do they usually lie?)
With all due respect
We're experiencing a high number of calls
At this moment in time
You have to look at the bigger picture
I hear what you're saying
If my memory serves me correct
I'm not being funny, but ...
With greatest respect
You are a valuable customer
Flip flop your ideas
Think outside the box
I'm not being funny but.
Give it 110%
Put it on the back burner
In my considered opinion
He turned around and said
He doesn't know his left hand from his right
I'll wipe that smile off your face
If you fall and break your leg, don't you come running to me
Television and radio presenters who say 'see you tomorrow'
Top of the morning
A window in my diary
It Gets my goat
Can you spare me two minutes?
Back in a jiffy
Temporary traffic lights
Watch ya cock
Lessons will be learnt drives me mad!
Sort of
24/7
Avoid like they plague
You don't have to (when asked to do something)
No worries
That's a right cock up
Moving the goal posts
Level playing field
It's beyond our sphere of influence
As quick as you like
Blah blah blah
MY FIRST CAR
My Grandfathers limited edition C reg Volkswagon Saloon
Hillman Imp - bought for £20, sold 6 months later for £25
VW Jetter
Fiat Panda
Austin Allegro - engine blew up after 2 years
Red Astra - got me to the destination, rarely got me home again
A Mk 2 Ford Cortina in Daytona yellow (1968 model) £200, with spot lamps
1948 Morris 8 Series E with starting handle
Ford Anglia - present from a cousin
1948 Morris 8 series E with starting handle
1966 Singer Gazelle bought for £50, HAE 202 with overdrive on 3rd and 4th gears
Morris Marina costing £400
1966 Ford Prefect
1939 Austin 8, two tone grey
A bull nose morris
Morris Minor £100
Morris Oxford £500 - later sold for £1800
Austin Mini for £90 AJY 190 B, yellow with a white roof
PLYMOUTH'S ALTERNATIVE RULES OF THE ROAD
Yellow zig-zags outside schools are reserved parking areas for 4 x 4's
You must continue cutting people up
You can park wherever you like, as long as you have your hazard warning lights on
You can drive straight across mini roundabouts
Employ the non use of indicators before turning
Throw takeaway wrapping out of the window whilst moving
Your dog must be hanging out of the window
You are allowed to have your dog on your lap while driving
A variety of rude hand signals always work
Apply lippy and make-up whilst driving
The steering wheel supports your reading material
Always drive as close to the vehicle in front as you can in order to take advantage of their slipstream for a tow
Use full beam at night in a built up area
Don't put lights on when its raining
It's always best to drive an automatic car so your left hand is free for holding your pasty!
Use your invisible lights after dusk
When approaching roundabouts do not indicate otherwise strangers will know which way you are going
The yellow box on the stick marks the start of the 'test your brakes area' - followed immediately by the long 'test your accelerator zone'
A double yellow line means you may park on the pavement
If it's raining, park on the grass verge. It saves the council cutting the grass
ALTERNATIVE MOVIE TITLES
Oh, my hat - Gone With The Wind
On the waiting list - The English Patient
Animal toilets - Zulu
The English baby - Born Free
Shorthand shipwreck - Shrek
Rough Guide To Africa - Jungle Book
My hoe is stuck in a crater - Moonraker
Itta costa 100 lira butta I canna comma tilla Tuesday - The Italian Job
Keep Fit - Battle Of The Bulge
Monkey Moon - Planet Of The Apes
Baboon at Bretonside - Return From The Planet Of The Apes
Salad Wars - Attack of The Killer Tomatoes
Mother-in-law's lips - Jaws
Get that dusting done - The Shining
No more baaahs - Silence of the Lambs
Schools Out - The Graduate
Turn that racket down - The Sound Of Music
The Scottish-French Simpson - Oklahoma
Dogfight - Close Encounter of the Furred Kind
Two Swedish au pairs - The Untouchables
Sparksy's Tee Shot at Elfordleigh - Lost In Space
Stick 'em up, where's your aircraft carrier? - Raiders Of The Lost Ark
To Be Continued - The Never Ending Story
Sharp bread knife - Lethal Weapon
Sharp bread knife and a dagger - Leathal Weapon 2
Cat with eight lives lost - Octopussy
After pub closing time - The Glass Mountain
American currency - A Fist Full of Dollars
The distant crossing - A Bridge Too Far
Weekend sickness - Saturday Night Fever
Lubrication - Grease
The camel jockey - Lawrence of Arabia
TREMENDOUS CELEBRITY TEETH
Esther Rantzen
Janet Street-Porter
'Whispering' Bob Harris
The Bee Gees
Gus Honeybun
George Formby
Rolf Harris
Bugs Bunny
Jack from 'On The Buses'
Tim Nice But Dim (Harry Enfield)
Nicey (from the Fast Show)
Bernie Winters
Dick Emery
Tony Blair
Ken Dodd
Mr Rumbold from 'Are You Being Served'
Richard Branson
Margaret Thatcher
Terry Thomas
Jimmy Tarbuck
Joyce Grenfell
Yootha Joyce
Mr Ed
Sir Cliff Richard
Nobby Stiles
Mike Myers as Austin Powers
Sister Wendy Beckett
Billy Dainty
Albert Steptoe
Count Dracula
Jaws
Bruce Forsyth
Dot Cotton
Rod Hull
Liberace
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES NO LONGER ON SALE
Double Diamond
Double Diamond Light
Arctic Light
Fremlins
Watney's Red Barrel
Watney's Party 7
Hofmiester
Popplestones
Porters
Harp
Simmonds Heavy
Worthington E
Whitbread Tankard
Drake Ale
Plymouth Bitter
Colt 45
Courage Tavern
Courage India Pale Ale
Plymouth Breweries Pale Ale
Long Life Bitter
Milk Stout
Glucose Stout
Pony
Black & White whisky
VAT 69
Whiteways cider
Dargon's Blood
Barley Wine
Crocodillo
Hague Dimpel
OPPOSITE FILMS
Reach for the Sky + Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
Brief Encounter + The Long Goodbye
The Man with Two Brains + Dumb and Dumber
What's New Pussycat + Dog Day Afternoon
The Longest Day + A Night to Remember
Down Periscope + Up The Junction
Close Encounters + Far Pavilions
Monster That Eat The World + Gone With The Wind
Bambi + The Deer Hunter
Rainman + The Sunshine Boys
Privates on Parade + Master In Commander
Silence of the Lambs + Sound of Music
King & I + Lady & The Tramp
Jailhouse Rock + Born Free
Murder On The Orient Express + Slow Boat To China
Journey To The Far Side Of The Sun + First Man On The Moon
Men in Black + The Lady in Red
Lost in Space + Journey to the Centre of the Earth
In Like Flint + Out Of Africa
Fried Green Tomatoes At The Whistle Stop Cafe + Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes
High Noon + Midnight Rendezvous
The Big Sleep + Sleepless In Seattle
We Dive at Dawn + It Happened One Night
Ice cold in Alex + Some like it Hot
High Society + Love on the Dole
Sink the Bismark + Raise the Titanic
The Freshman + The Graduate
Ordinary People + Freaks
The Incredible Shrinking Man + Attack of the 50ft Woman
Shampoo + Grease
A Few Good Men + The Dirty Dozen
Face Off + Mask
The Dresser + Striptease
I Know Where I'm Going + The Magical Mystery Tour
The Big Chill + Heat
The Great Escape + No Way Out
Battle of the Bulge + The Thin Man
Hunchback of Notre Dame + Pretty Woman
EVERYDAY PLYMOUTH PHRASES
Thank you driver
innit
don' e
won' e
din' e
Getting the Saltash motor
Down town later
Cop on
Nippin in
Washeteria
Alright bey ?
Alright bird ?
Hows your maids ?
Handsome
Goin over Bovi later
Up Argo
Smornin
S'afty
Plymuff
'ere !
Up the line
See ya later
Yardy
Demport
Drekly
Get on
The Cwop
Little tacker
Up on Oe
Down on the Barbican
Wherebetoo
Wherebeegoin
Cakey
Where's that to?
Go up Asdas and do me lotteries
GREAT LAUGHS OF OUR TIME
Sid James
Barbara Windsor
Muttley (from Wacky Races)
Edward Heath
Frank Bruno
Tommy Cooper
Stuart Hall
Basil Brush
Vincent Price
Sybil Fawlty
Goldie Hawn
The 'Smash advert' aliens
Rusty Lee
Leslie Phillips
Popeye
Charles Penrose
David Bowie's Laughing Gnome
Stan Laurel
Fozzy Bear
Father Christmas
UNUSUAL HANDY HINTS
Warm a butter dish with hot water, then dry. Butter won't then slip around the dish.
Soak candles in water with 2 teaspoons of salt then dry. Then, candles won't drip.
To remove red wine stains from carpet, use dishwashing liquid.
Baby oil removes fingerprints from doors and cupboards.
Talc removes sticky labels.
In hot & humid weather put your pyjamas or nightdress in a plastic bag & put it in the fridge then when you go to bed, cool nightclothes.
To rid hands of garlic odour, rub a piece of stainless steel while washing your hands.
Don't mix cut daffodils in with other cut flowers as daffs produce a toxin that kills off other flowers.
To bring back fluffiness in pillows, put them in the airing cupboard.
To get chewing gum off your clothes freeze it with a ice cube then brush off.
Kitchen sponges tend to get smelly - spray some fabric conditioner on.
Use bread to pick up broken glass.
If you have an aquarium, use the old water to water house plants with it. The results are amazing.
Never do your shoe laces up in a revolving door
A teaspoon in a glass will stop it cracking when you pour in boiling water.
Remove cat hairs from clothes with rubber gloves.
Use flat cola on toilet bowls for a lovely shine.
Use a hairdryer on crayon marks so it can be easily wiped off.
Talc removes coal from the carpet.
Layer salt on a burnt frying pan to dissolve the burnt area.
Vinegar on grass keep cats at bay.
Clean brass with lemon juice.
To remove ink from the pockets of your jeans, soak in milk overnight.
PRODUCT SLOGANS OF YEARS GONE BY
Splash it all over.
Beanz Meanz Heinz.
For mash get Smash.
Follow the bear.
Now hands that do dishes can feel soft as your face.
You wonder where your yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent.
A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat.
Made to make your mouth water.
Watch out - there's a Humphrey about.
Tell 'em about the honey, mummy.
I'll risk it for a Swisskit.
Double Diamond works wonders.
Where's my girdle - Oh! I've got it on!
Is she or isn't she?
P..P..P..P..pick up a penguin.
Don't say cheese, say Cheddar.
Go to work on an egg.
Mum keeps you fresh.
Friday night is Amami night.
Mine's a Minor.
Genasprin kills colds quickly.
Wake up your liver bile with calomel.
Kraft velveteen spreads like butter.
Eve toilet soap will keep your complexion youthful for him.
Your nose needs Mentholatum.
Quick, quick, quick, my Quickies.
Brylcreem, grooms without gumming.
Hot Chocolate drinking chocolate.
It's English too from the cows to the dairy from the dairy down to you.
You can't put a betta bitta butta on your knife.
The ring of confidence.
Lets get fizzical.
The Man from Del Monte - he said yes.
Coates comes up from Somerset.
I'm a secret lemonade drinker.
Ahhh, Bisto.
Put a tiger in your tank.
Trebor Mints are a minty bit stronger....
Nicole? Papa!
Schhh you know who.
Ello Tosh, got a Toshiba?"
I don't suppose you've got a copy of Fly Fishing by Jr Hartley?
Everyone's a Fruit 'N' Nut case.
Opal Fruits, made to make your mouth water.
Do the Shake 'n' Vac and put the freshness back.
1001 cleans a big big carpet for less than half a crown.
Eight out of ten cats prefer Whiskas.
All because the lady loves Milk Tray.
As fresh as the day when the pod went pop.
Have a break - Have a Kit Kat.
Sleep sweeter, Bournvita.
You can never hurry a Murray.
You can't get quicker than a Kwik Fit fitter.
I liked it so much I bought the company.
Lipsmakinthirstquenchinacetastinmotivatingoodbuzzincool talkinhighwalkinfastlivinevergivincoolfizzin Pepsi.
Anytime, anyplace, anywhere.
Snap, Crackle, Pop!
A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play.
We are The Ovaltinies.
You get a little lovelier every day with fabulous pink Camay Soap.
Look out, look out there's a Humphrey about.
For goodness goodness goodness sake don't say brown say Hovis.
Wrigley's Spearmint Gum. Carry the big fresh flavour.
Put a tiger in your tank.
Nuts whole hazelnut. Ooooh! Cadburys take 'em and they cover them in chocolate!
It looks good, tastes good and by golly it does you good.
What we want is Watneys.
If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our Club.
You'll never put a better bit of butter on your knife.
The sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite.
Boom boom boom boom, Esso blue.
I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.
TEN SIGNS THAT YOU'RE FROM PLYMOUTH
1 You moan about Royal Parade
2 You dislike anything to do with Exeter
3 You think Smeaton's Tower is the world's eighth wonder
4 You believe Saltash is held on by the Tamar Bridge
5 You consider anywhere past Lee Mill is 'up north'
6 You know Home Park is the true Theatre of Greens
7 You panic at the first sign of snow
8 You enjoy a proper pasty in a paper bag
9 You think a trip to Endsleigh Garden Centre is a day out
10 Getting off the bus, you must say "Thank you, driver!"
PUBS NO LONGER IN PLYMOUTH
The Harvest Home, Drake Circus
The Revenue
The Oporto
The Unity
The Chester Cup
The Greyhound
The Nowhere Inn
The Duchess
The Sir Francis Drake
The Mountbatten
The Crabtree Inn
Two Trees, Fore Street
The Boot, Boot St near Marlbrough St
Stevens's near the original Aggie Westons
The Swan
The Cambridge
The Ark Royal
The United Services, Union Street
The United Services near The Citadel
The Royal Marine
The Lifeboat
Aristocats
The Rising Sun
The Half Moon
The Blue Monkey
The Grand Theatre
The Penguin
The Antelope
The Sydenham Arms
The Long Room
The Valletort
The Crown Hotel
The Old Chapel
The Gypsy Moth
The Cardiff Arms
The Holbart Arms
The Battery Inn
The Sugar Refinery
The Bedford Vaults
The Submarine
The Burton Boys
The Laira Inn
The Submarine
The Camel's Head
The Shades Inn, York Street
The Shades Inn, Plymouth
Elephant & Castle
The Barley Sheaf
New Pier Inn
The Half Moon
The Albion
The Lord Clarendon
The Ocean Inn
The Bristol Castle
The Foresters
The Duke Inn
The Western Bell
The West Indies
The Nottingham
The Red Lion
The Marley
The Empire
The Barley Sheaf
The Castle
The Tolbert
The Western Bell
The Longroom
The Robin Hood
The Breakwater
The Bulls Head
The Big Lamp
The Farmers Home
The Golden Lion
Allenby Arms
The Sugar Refinery
The Star
The Tandem
The Vine Hotel
The Red Lion
The Crabtree
The Stonehouse Vaults
IF THE WINTER OLYMPICS WERE HELD IN PLYMOUTH
Slalom - Forder Valley Road
Giant Slalom - Victoria Road
Ski Jumping - Ford Hill, landing on Melvillle Road
Cross Country - Horrabridge to Derriford
Snowboard half-pipe - Central Park skate park
Ice Dancing - Tinside Pool
Figure skating - River Plym
Speed skating - The Embankment
Curling - Hoe Promenade
Luge - Mannamead Road
Bobsleigh - Miller Way to Marsh Mills
Ice Hockey - Home Park
ON AIR REVELATIONS
Listeners were asked to finish this sentence: Nobody knows this about me but ...
... I am bald.
... I sat next to my friend as he fired berries from a pea-shooter into Robbie Coltrane's parked MG which had the roof down.
... I lived on a desert island for three months.
... I wanted to be a famous chef.
... I hula-hooped for eight hours at a party.
... I helped to teach John Noakes how to sail catamarans.
... I used to have a hamster called Wilma.
... I have never had a haircut.
... I am a Canadian citizen.
... I performed at Blackpool Tower in a skipping competition in my mid-fifties and came second to an 18 year-old.
CELEBRITY TV SHOWS WE'D LIKE TO SEE
Celebrity synchronised swimming
Celebrity hairdressing
Celebrity job swap
Celebrity ski jumping
Celebrity teacher
Celebrity taxi driver
Celebrity commando
Celebrities love Drake's Island
Celebrity watch the paint dry
THINGS MISPRONOUNCED BY OTHER PEOPLE
The Welsh town of Aberwristwatch
Our son likes his vimatins every day
Our daughter was getting fitted for her proms outfit and said she needed a panini to put around her shoulders. She may have been better getting a pashmina.
Squeshly freezed orange juice
A faulty toilet system (not a cistern)
Misled has been missled
I used to think Michael Hutchence's band was called Inks
Those people in Australia - the Aubergines
Percific (instead of specific)
Cara Van - two words
Spaghetti Bollognaise
Lay-sang - when ordering in an Italian restaurant
The Laundryette
I had to stay in hopperstool (instead of the hospital)
Quince (instead of quiche)
Brocco-lye (instead of broccoli)
My brother always called spaghetti ... bisketti
Plymouth Argo
My Auntie thought the shop TOYSRUS was pronounced Toy-saw-rus
She was better when the doctor put her on sterios
During the petrol shortage, she was alright as she got hers from Testicles
Castrated oil (not castor oil)
A digickle watch
My friend referred to germs as micro orgasms
Durex paint
My grandad thought SPUD-U-LIKE was called Spud-u-la-kay
THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR CELEBRITIES SAY
Posh Spice - "I'm hungry."
Arsene Wegner - "The ref was right to send off my player."
Tim Henman - "I'm really pleased to have won Wimbledon again".
Jose Mourinho - "I'm having a really bad hair day."
Any celebrity - "No, I couldn't possibly accept any free gifts."
Modest Scott Dann - "I'll have him in the fourth round."
Vinny Jones "You know what? I think I will go with the pink cardigan today."
Camilla - "Don't think I'll get the hair done today"
Elton John - "I do look daft in the wig."
Chris Whipp (Editor of the show) - "I'll get a round in."
Sting - "I could murder a meat pie"
Keith Floyd - "Tea, please!"
Gordon Ramsay - "Oh Damn."
Wayne Rooney - "Yes Ref, I did foul him."
Bruce Forsyth - "Nice to see you, oh no its not really."
Carol Vorderman - "Can I borrow your calculator?"
Jamie Oliver - "Just a Pot Noodle for me."
Jeremy Clarkson - "I think I'll get the bus this morning".
PLYMOUTH STREETS THAT SHOULD BE NEXT TO EACH OTHER
VAUXHALL Street and Fort AUSTIN Avenue
HAM Drive and EGGbuckland Road
QUEEN Street and DUKE Street
CARDINAL Avenue and WOLSELEY Road
GORDON Terrace and SPARKE Close
ADMIRAL'S Hard and NELSON Street
Plymstock BROADWAY and Laira NARROWS
FIRtree Road and CATtedown Road
WATERLOO Street and Nelson Avenue
ARMADA WAY and Drake's Circus
WELLINGTON Street and WATERLOO Street
NELSON Street and VICTORY Street
TAMAR Avenue and LYNHER Street
MILITARY Road and Grand PARADE
LISTENERS' BRUSHES WITH THE FAMOUS
A friend threw Noddy Holder out of a house party.
Prior to the British Open, threw a cocktail party over looking the 6th fairway meeting Greg Norman , Larry Mize, Rory Underwood and Nick Faldo's caddy, Fanny Sunneson.
In London, my sister told Dame Vera Lynn that her dress was tucked inside knickers.
I refused to serve Dennis Waterman in a pub because he'd had a few over the eight.
My wife went out with Charles Dance before meeting me.
I sold Plymouth Argyle striker Tommy Tynan a fire and a light bulb to Angela Rippon.
Ian Wright wanted my t-shirt.
Anthony Quinn worked out in the gym on the Cunard liner I worked on and knew me by my first name.
I danced with David Essex in Stratford (Evita) 1986.
Amy Johnson picked me up and cuddled me when I was three years old.
IF SINGERS WERE FRIENDLY WITH SIT-COM STARS, HOW WOULD THAT HAVE AFFECTED THEIR BACK CATALOGUE ?
ELTON JOHN AND 'DAD'S ARMY'
Are You Ready For Pike ?
Permission To Don't Go Breaking My Heart
Put That Candle in The Wind Out
Don't Let The Hun Go Down On Me
I'm a V2 Rocket Man
Achtung Seems To Be The Hardest Word
Saturday Night's Alright For Drill Practise
Godfrey's Yellow Brick Road
Rocket Manwaring
I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blitz
MOTORHEAD AND 'THE GOOD LIFE'
Ace of Spades.
CLIFF RICHARD AND 'FATHER TED'
Congregations
LYNRD SKYNRD AND 'ARE YOU BEING SERVED'
I'm Freebird
ROLLING STONES AND 'THE GOOD LIFE'
Under My Thumb Nails
I Can't Get No Radish Action
Margot's 19th Nervous Breakdown
Hey! You! Get Off Of My Land
DAVID BOWIE AND 'ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES'
Me Old China Girl
CHRIS DE BURGH AND 'LITTLE BRITAIN'
I'm A Lady In Red
BAND OF THE SCOTS GUARDS AND 'ARE YOU BEING SERVED'
Amazing Grace Brothers
STING AND 'LAST OF THE SUMMER WINE'
If I Lose My Ferret
Every Little Thing Norah Does Is Magic
Message In A Bottle In A Bath Rolling Down A Hill In Yorkshire
PINK AND 'IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH'
Stupid Old Cow
MADONNA AND 'DAD'S ARMY'
Like A Verger
BON JOVI AND 'IT AIN'T HALF HOT MUM'
Last Man Standing Is A Lovely Boy
SONGS THAT THE PLYMOUTH POLICE CHOIR COULD SING
You’re Not Speeding Anymore
Hooe Are You
Laira More Questions than Answers
We're Jam Sandwiching
Hello..... Hello, Hello
And The Beat Goes On
Every Statement You Take
We Will Lock You
The Boys in Blue Are Back in Town
Handcuffs and Gladrags
Tazer Love
Help
Who Let The Police Dogs Out
Please Release Me
These Boots Are Made For Walking
The Finger Of Suspicion
Bobby’s Girl
Coppers from Heaven
I Fought The Law
WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR TV REMOTE CONTROL ?
The zapper
The donker
The fadinga-danga
The mote
The doofer
The clicker
The wife
The flasher
The gadget
The Pimpernell (we seek it here...)
The Plonker
The thingy
Frank (after Frank Zappa)
The splidge
The buttons
The twikker
INCORRECTLY NAMED STREETS IN PLYMOUTH
Green Park Road - it may be green but there's no park
New Street - it's very old
Military Road - has no barracks
Old Town Street - is not in an old town
Channel Park Avenue - is not in the Channel
Edith Avenue - does Edith live there?
Bodmin Road - isn't leading to a town in Cornwall
Lynwood Road - has no wood in it
Furzehatt Road - has no fur or any hats
Vauxhall Street - does not have a Vauxhall garage
Lancaster Gardens - is not in Lancashire
Taunton Avenue - does not lead you to Somerset
Brentford Avenue - isn't in London and the residents don't play in red and white stripes
Sandy Road - is not very sandy
St Budeaux - are there any saints there?
Butts Park - say no more!
Brest Road - see Butts Park
Mutley Plain - has no airport
Thames Gardens - does not have a flood barrier
Royal Parade - not the residence of Her Majesty
Dickie Moor Lane - please, let's keep it clean!
Shakespeare Road - England's greatest didn't have a house there
Seymour Road - what can you see more of?
Royal William Square - is circular!
Cleveland Road - it should be in Ohio
Garrison Close - where are the uniforms?
Drunken Bridge Hill - everyone there seem quite sober
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS USING SONG TITLES
What Do You Want To Make Those Eyes At Me For? I'm Getting Sentimental Over You
Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? Dream On
Don't You Want Me? Can't Say No
Where Have All The Cowboys Gone? London Town
Who Are You ? Jimmy Mack
Aint It Funky Now? D.I.S.C.O.
Why? Because
How Much Is That Doggy In The Window? Half A Sixpence
Who Broke The Lock On The Henhouse Door? Little Red Rooster
Do They Know It's Christmas? - Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't Have)? Only You
Will You? Yes I will
What Was It You Wanted? Two Pints Of Lager and a Packet Of Crisps Please
Who's That Girl? Alice ! Who the **** is Alice!
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow ? It's Impossible
Hello John, got a new motor? I'm In Love With My Car
How do you solve a problem like Maria? Run To The Hills
Where Have You Been All My Life? Crying, Waiting, Hoping
Do You Want To Know A Secret? You're Going To Lose That Girl
If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me? It's Not Unusual
How Long? 24 Hours From Tulsa
DAFT SAYINGS
Your eyes are bigger than your belly
You're not as green as youre cabbage looking
Please eat with you mouth shut
If you break your leg don't come running to me
Nowt as daft as folk
Thick in head, strong in arm
Eating burnt toast will make your hair curl
Put clean pants on in case your run over by a bus
Eat your vegetables and they'll but hairs on your chest
In one ear and out the other, like a lump of pastry
She's always up before the sparrow farts
By the skin of your teeth
I'll give you the back of my hand
It's cheap at twice the price
I laughed my head off
Your face will stay like if the wind changes
Standing up on your hind legs like a slice of fried bread
Stop that, you'll do yourself a mischief
Like a fork dipped in vinegar
If you've got a black cat she's got one blacker!
AREAS AND STREETS IN PLYMOUTH THAT COULD HAVE BEEN NAMED AFTER SOMEONE
Roy Al Parade
Lee Moor
Ernie Settle
Barbie Can
Jenny Cliff
Liz Card
Cita Del Boy
Shirl Well
Bill Acombe
Albert Bridge
The area formerly known as Prince Rock
Miles House
Gran Bee Way
Colin Campbell Court
Anne Widdecombe in the Moor
Sir Isaac newton Ferrers
Ash Burton
Old Biddy Ford
Wes Tonmill
Homer Park
Barney Barton
Dale Road
Victoria Street
Sidney Road
CAFES AND RESTAURANTS NO LONGER IN PLYMOUTH
Al Fresco, Raleigh St
Beeton's Restaurant, behind The Crescent
Bewleys Coffee House
Criterian, St Levan Rd
Gay Gannet, Frankfort Gate
Genoni's restaurant, city centre
Get Stuffed, Mayflower St
Goodbody's, Bedford St
Green Lantern
Hoe cafe, the Nissan hut
Hong Kong, Mayflower St
Hot Potato, Cornwall St
Imperial
Jolyon, opposite Dingles
Kabani Indian restaurant, North Hill
Kebab Steak Bar
Khyber Restaurant
Le Crocquembouche, Mayflower St
Le Restaurant, Vauxhall St
Lyons Bedford St
Magnet Restaurant - Cornwall St
Mallard Cafe, The How
Marquee, Sherwell Arcade
Mimo's above Ivor Dewdney's
Moulin Rouge, Frankfort Gate
Nine Dragons Chinese Restaurant, Sherwell Arcade
Peking Palace
Pilgrim Steak House, Barbican
Rockie's Restaurant, St Andrews St
Quo Vadis
Savoy Grill, Union St
Sellecks' Ebrington St
Steak and Scampi
Stephens, Marlborough St
Winstons, Mayflower St
Yankee Burger, Frankfort Gate
GROUPS AND SINGERS THAT USED TO PLAY IN PLYMOUTH
Beggars, Tramps and Thieves
Blue Hawians
Bolaro
Canyon
Cement Bag O'Brien and the Humming Melons
Chalk and Cheese
City Steel
Clown
Ernie
Frankie Fuge
Frozen Tear
Hickory Wind
Hombre
Judy and The Zodiacs
Medicine Bow
Porrij
Purple Heart
Quarry
Smart Alec
Smokestack
Spice
Stealer
The Black Jacks
The Blue Cadillacs
The Bricks
The Goldrush
The Jordannaires
The Lee
The Meltones
The Pheasant Pluckers
The Rockites
Western Detours
FANTASY DINNER GUEST
Alive
Stephen Fry
Suggs
David Beckham
Barbara Windsor
David Attenborough
Joanna Lumley
Richard Branson
Jose Mourinho
Ken Dodd
Michael Palin
Elton John
Mariah Carey
Brad Pitt
Angelina Jolie
Neil Armstrong
Warren Beatty
Dan McAuley
Ken Dodd
Dead
Hedley Verity
Elvis Presley
Winston Churchill
Ian Dury
Princess Diana
Sid James
Freddie Mercury
Bobby Moore
The Shah of Iran
Groucho Marx
Steve Irwin
James Dean
John Lennon
Jim Morrison
Marilyn Monroe
Eric Morecambe
Oliver Reed
Jimi Hendrix
Jesus
Adolph Hitler
Groucho Marks
NIGHTCLUBS AND DISCOS NO LONGER IN PLYMOUTH
Ace of Clubs, The Octagon
Astoria, The Octago
Barbarellas, Union St
Barts, Union St
Blondz, Union St
Boobs, Union St
Castaways, Union St
Chantelles, Union St
Diamond Lil's, Union St
Dirty Dicks, Union St
El Diablo, Whimple St
Fannys
Fiesta Suite, Mayflower St
Grapevine, New Continental Hotel
Harewood Club, Plympton
Majestic, Union St
Metro, Devonport
Metro, Union St
Millennium, Union St
Mr Harry’s, West Hoe
Mr Sweets, Union St
Pussycat Club, Union St
Ritzy, Union St
Ronnie’s, The Barbican
Sam’s Club, Athenaeum St
Spider's Web, Duke of Cornwall Hotel
The Rainbow Room, above The Good Companions
Tops, Union St
Sgt Peppers, Union St
Snobs, Mayflower St
Victoria Club, West Hoe
Western Bell, Union St
Woods, Eastlake Walk
THEY USED TO COME TO OUR DOOR
Encyclopaedia Brittanica salesman
Mobile grocery shop
Football Pools
Scissor sharpeners
Bakery van
Corona man
Carpet man
Knife grinder
Argyle lottery
The insurance man
Delivery of sausages
The fruit and veg man
Fish van
Pink Paraffin Man
Rag and Bone man
The coalman
Man with a suitcase selling cleaning products
The French Onion man
Christmas Post Office Vans
CONFESSIONS OF ODD COLLECTIONS
Sharks teeth
Bus tickets
Cheese labels
Model buses
Anything to do with Shelock Holmes
Owls
Jam jars
Teddy bears
Yogurt tin foil tops
Carrier bags
Airline sick bags
Antique bags
Glove stretchers
Beer mats
Comics
Fans
Baseball caps
Lawnmowers
Pencils
Rice
IT MAKES THE BLOOD BOIL!
Listeners were asked to complete the sentence: "I hate it when ..."
... I am stuck in traffic
... people say: "its for your own good."
... ignorant men continue swearing when there is a woman in the queue
... Steve Bennett referees Argyle
... supporters leave Home Park early
... all the lights are against you
... the bus leaves two minutes before the Torpoint Ferry crashes onto the Devonport side.
... footballers spit
... there are no chocolates left
... Argyle do well away, then get a good crowd at home and not play to their potential.
... visitings fans cheer when they score at Home Park.
... a TV programme over runs and you've recorded the next one.
... other tv programmes have to move to make way for the football and it's meant to finish at a given time and it doesn't because they have an inquest on the game.
... seal an envelope and discover the address you need to send it to is inside.
... my sleep is disturbed
... the coffee machine doesn't work
... there are ten tills but only two cashiers are working - and they're the slow ones.
... you order a cab and it doesn't turn up.
... you can't find something in a shop then you can't find as assistant.
... I put my contact lenses in the wrong eyes.
... men say women know nothing about football.
PUBLIC CLOCKS IN PLYMOUTH
Currently in use
Chav dial
The Albert Road Dockyard Gate
HMS Drake Guard Room
Hoe Cafe
The Barton Building, Mutley
Derry’s Clock
Central Park flower bed
Leicester Harmsworth House, New George Street
Mutley Post Office
Plymouth Hoe gardens
St Andrew’s Church
The Natwest Bank
Bretonside Bus Station
The Drake Circus shopping complex
The old Naffi Building (now University annexe), Notte Street
St Budeaux Church
Royal William Yard
DDRC Clock, Derriford Business Park
Devonport Market
Clocks that are no more
Guinness Clock
Follands Garage, Laira Bridge on the forecourt
The Post Office (old Drake Circus)
Mile house (formerly tramway offices)