smithily profile picture

smithily

...and i used rhetoric in my answer.

About Me

Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at (moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic like a cat tied to a stick,
that's driven into frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig in a cage on antibiotics.

My Interests

collecting spare change, applying chapstick at regular intervals of the day, spitefully reminiscing about ex-boyfriends who parted ways with the "lets-just-be-friends" line, shopping for christmas presents in june, seeing how long i can stretch this "dependent" act on my parents before they make me sober up and get a job.

I'd like to meet:

someone who, if they encountered me in a dark alley, would not choose to do me harm or believe that i had the intent of doing them harm.

Music:

violent femmes, the rugburns, pixies, pavement, stephen malkmus and the jicks, X, electric six, iggy pop, franz ferdinand, elliott smith, pinback, eels, the kills, bob dylan, the doors, long winters, presidents of the united states of america, oingo boingo, the ramones, primus, dismemberment plan, the rentals, western state hurricanes, everclear, social distortion, the dears, the mircophones, queen, simon and garfunkle, cat stephens, dr. octogon, deltron, a tribe called quest, aesop rock...wierd al

Movies:

james bond, pulp fiction, brain candy, the usual suspects, the bounty (and any other mel gibson movie besides the passion), fight club, M*A*S*H*, flight of dragons, the princess bride, the lord of the rings, waking life, adaptation, donnie darko, disney movies predating the lion king, wes anderson movies, shrek 1 & 2, the original star wars trilogy, old westerns (if i had a time machine, my first order of business after the actual time travel, would be fucking clint eastwood when he was twenty)

Television:

family guy, futurama... ok, all of adult swim...iron chef, teen titans, sponge bob, looney toons, aardman animation, CSI, law & order, although i still maintain that CSI much better than law & order, freaks and geeks, upright citizens brigade, kids in the hall, mr. show, the simpsons, king of the hill, arrested development, jimmy neutron, fairly oddparents, reno 911, animal planet/PBS/history channel specials...reality tv sickens me but it draws me in...like howard stern.

Books:

authors like ernest hemingway, charles bukowski, ray bradbury, john steinbeck, raymond carver, john cheever; books like 1984 (who doesn't like 1984?), lolita, the sounds and the fury, the destructors, death of a salesman, secretary, one flew over the cuckoo's nest (plus electric kool-aid acid test , which one you decide to read first is up to you, i guess), david and lisa, the little prince...um, yeah, don't steal my books (JASON)!

Heroes:

christopher marlowe, frederick douglass, vincent pryce just to name a few of particular interest...and anyone who's dead and still famous or infamous...why not? they're cool in my book, even if i personally hate them.

My Blog

too much blogging makes jack a dull boy

demitri martin must not have a day job. dude, i have random thoughts, too. and i think they're hilarious, as well. but once i say them, people look at me funny. maybe you should stop, too.
Posted by smithily on Wed, 09 May 2007 08:59:00 PST

F.A.Q.s

I'm taking the time out of my extremely busy schedule to answer the some of the frequently asked questions (F.A.Q.s) that Bat Comics deals with on a daily basis so that we might better serve your need...
Posted by smithily on Tue, 01 May 2007 09:51:00 PST

too awesome!!! really!!!

just checked the calendar. st. patrick's day is on a saturday. i work all day.
Posted by smithily on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 10:13:00 PST

don't be sorry

Saturday-Bat Comics 1:00 p.m.The weather said it would rain all day. It's grey and cold and wet. Trent gets upset when the weather is bad. It means we will not have as many people in the store as a...
Posted by smithily on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:42:00 PST

my new favorite poem

A Poison TreeI was angry with my friend:I told my wrath, my wrath did end.I was angry with my foe:I told it not, my wrath did grow.And I water'd it in fears,Night & morning with my tears;And I sunned ...
Posted by smithily on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 10:31:00 PST

stasis

fuck school. always ruins the fun. fuck vacation. always has to end before you're ready to get back to that place they call the real world. you have to be productive, on top of things. spending a...
Posted by smithily on Mon, 22 Jan 2007 06:50:00 PST

resolutions

i'm not a big believer in new years resolutions. perhaps it's that i know from the moment i make them that i have no serious intention of keeping it the whole fucking year; in fact, last year's big "...
Posted by smithily on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 01:23:00 PST

winter sick

finally got that bug that has been going around...and to think, i was kidding myself into believing this winter i would be impervious to cold and flu. guess i just got arrogant after i made it throug...
Posted by smithily on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 10:17:00 PST

christmas list (still tentative)

several baby tortoises that I might carry around by the pocketful, so that if I need to evade an awkward situation, I can have at my disposal a tortoise for that particular occasion to relieve the ten...
Posted by smithily on Tue, 14 Nov 2006 04:58:00 PST

damn you, bob, you know what i'm thinking better than i do

listening to Bob Dylan too much lately...attached myself to "Love Sick" (first track off Time Out of My Mind)I'm walking through streets that are deadWalking, walking with you in my headMy feet are so...
Posted by smithily on Thu, 26 Oct 2006 02:31:00 PST