I WISH I WAS A WALRUS

Eating shrooms, being ninja, killing cows at the zoo,peeing on little children,peeing on the toilet seat,peeing in convenient store restrooms, peeing in general, petting small animals,beating meat with a hammer, bobble head jesus, breaking balls, nude yoga, ben taylor, scratching my balls, Sniffing "scrach-n-sniffs", flexing my muscles while standing on my head on Christmas Day, Working out my 1 pack, eating gravy noodles (mmm... good), slinging bologna (buh-low-nee) out of my one-of-a-kind sling-shot, singing the "Oscar Mayer" theme (my bologna has a first name it's O-S-C-A-R. my bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R. Oh, I love to eat it everyday, and if you ask me why, I will say... that Oscar Mayer has more today than B-O-L-O-G-N-A) while flexing my muscles on my head on Christmas Day, propelling scooters with my super atomic wind machine, Hitting small children for no reason on my head, parading the streets with my posse, Performing brain surgery, testing the limits of my stomach with a big glass of Tang, running for public office, Forcing friends into contracts of slavery using my superfly charm, Saying superfly, bull-fighting, doing aerobic exercise with the ladies, Headbutting random children while singing the Oscar Mayer weiner song, picking up chicks,sumo wrestling -- my kawasaki is the stuff your sister's dreams are made of, watching the dead fish float in the tanks at Wal-Mart, playing chop-sticks while standing on my head, smelling all the varieties of car-fresheners at the Wax and Go,and spam sandwiches, beating up puppies, stealing money from orphans, commiting armed robbery, adding sugar to sugar free products, setting my kitty cat on fire, beating up wiener dogs while singing the Oscar Mayer theme song while stealing money from old ladies, stealing money from old ladies in general, make sweet love to my future wife pamela, spanking the monkey, pounding my pud while singing the oscar mayer theme song, asking a bald guy to headbang, getting some good old fashioned pooty tang, passin the blunt to the nigga to the left, showing people my big telescope, big telescopes in general, finding the dead man's chest, stabbing the heart of davey jones, being the eternal captain of the flying dutchman,making a nun have a child, punting babies, eating the firstborn child of the nun of whom i made preagant (artificially), pissing in a lemonade bottle and telling people to drink it, being a butt ninja.