Greg Watts - ProfilesArchive

About Me

A little old couple prepares to go to bed. They no sooner hit the pillows when the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"The old man replied, "It's fart football."A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, "Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7."Not to be outdone, the wife rips out another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, "Field goal, I lead 17 to 14."Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beat by a woman, so he strains real hard, but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally he shits in the bed. The wife says, "What the hell was that?"The old man says, "Half time, switch sides."

My Interests

A doctor walks in to an exam room, searching for a pen in his pocket. The doctor pulls out a rectal thermometer and says "Dammit, some asshole has my pen".

Heroes:

My dog that recently past away. He was a weiner dog who didn't have any legs. I rescued him from the pound and named him Cigarette. I took him out for a drag every morning.

My Blog

Four nuns are standing in line to get into heaven (Joke)

Four nuns are standing in line to get into heaven. St. Paul says to the first one, "Have you ever touched a penis before." The nun says "Yeah, with my finger." St. Paul says, "Dip your finger in the h...
Posted by Greg Watts on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 02:54:00 PST

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine

A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time." The wife thought for a few moments, then s...
Posted by Greg Watts on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 05:53:00 PST

Farting all the time

Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time,"The Doctor nods, "Hmm."Patient, "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I f...
Posted by Greg Watts on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:16:00 PST

This is what I told the lady in the checkout line at the grocery store

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2%, milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head , of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, a 1 lb. pack...
Posted by Greg Watts on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 05:21:00 PST

Free downpayment money to buy a home

1. Contact me and get a pre-approval letter for a loan that accepts gifts from AmeriDream.2. Choose a real estate professional and begin your home search3. Find the home you'd like to purchase4. Make ...
Posted by Greg Watts on Mon, 21 May 2007 01:05:00 PST

Six ways to kill your credit score

Be a big spender at the wrong timeThe bigger your total balance as a percent of your total credit limit across all your credit cards, the lower your score will be.Rex Johnson, founder of credit union ...
Posted by Greg Watts on Fri, 18 May 2007 08:23:00 PST

Nine points that will help you score with the finest women

While it is true that I am no Tucker Max, I have had my fair share of experience with women. I have learned a few things in my last sixteen years dealing with the opposite sex in matters of relations,...
Posted by Greg Watts on Wed, 16 May 2007 08:05:00 PST

Some advantages when you decide to refinance your home!!!!!!

When you refinance you pay off your existing mortgage with the proceeds from a new loan. Some advantages:*Lower your monthly paymentsMany homeowners consider refinancing as interest rates drop. Loweri...
Posted by Greg Watts on Fri, 11 May 2007 10:58:00 PST

Do it yourself credit repair techniques

PRINT THIS OUT!!!!!!!!!!Crucial Strategies The only thing you legally need to supply the credit bureaus for a copy of your report is your name, your social security number and a legal mailing address...
Posted by Greg Watts on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 07:15:00 PST