Incapacity man

I am Incapacity Man from Dumfries in Scotland not far from Gretna just past Carlisle! I quite like going out to random pubs in the town and having a bit of mad banter with people, my favourate pub in town has got to be Bar ID because the bar staff are really nice. I am alway's being aproached by people when I am out asking me to show them a wee leg stretch, it's a special move of mines which has taken years to perfect. I have also been known to on a good day pull off a leg stretch combo but age is against me these days and if you ever see me do one it is a very rare treat! I love Dundee United, hate Dundee. Well thats about it, if you ever see me about town give me a wee hand shake and say Morning! Oh and bye the way my name is Incapacity Man, it's a long story!" Dusnie Maetter "Now I've heard there was a secret stretch That incapacity man did, and it pleased the Lord But you don't really care for stretches, do you? It goes like this The fourth, the fifth The left leg stays, the right leg lifts The baffled punters singing Dusnie Maetter Dusnie Maetter Dusnie Maetter Dusnie Maetter Dusnie MaetterHis whiskey was strong but he needed booft! To get him dancing on the roof His combo in the moonlight overthrew you He touched your arm As he bantered on He done the toe touch, and something went wrong Stuck as his back went oot –but it Dusnie MaetterDusnie Maetter, Dusnie Maetter Dusnie Maetter, Dusnie MaetterAnd now he canny fish in the Nith Or combo tae the bog for a pish But if He did, well really, what's it to you? There's a blaze of light In all his words It doesn't matter which you heard The drunken or the drunker Dusnie MaetterDusnie Maetter, Dusnie Maetter Dusnie Maetter, Dusnie MaetterHe did his best, tae dae Johnny Cash He reached them notes, and his neck work was class I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you And even though It all went wrong He’ll stand before the Lord of song and combo one mare time but is Dusnie MaetterDusnie Maetter, Dusnie Maetter