, this is Evan Turner© The American Wet Dream© and you have reached my Official Sexy My Space. You're overloaded with excitement already aren't you? Well PACE yourself. I don't want you to overload until you see all the American Wet Dream© has to offer.
First off let me tell you this, I'm a part of Lethal Contact Wrestling©. They hired me cause i smoke jokers like cigaretts. Everyone needs skills of one kind or another. I just so happen to be good at destroying things, making n!ce with the lad!es, and being sexy. In fact you'll know that when you see my finisher. I call it 'Death by Sexy©',it comes as a tryptic. As we all know two is better than one and three ,well, thats just magic.
Wrestling is just my avenue for corrupting the whole world.
Through a process I call Evanlution, more on that later.
Now about my past...I wasn't always a wrestler.I have been sexy all my life, some things don't change. I used to work at a Retirement home. Unfortunately there was some incident where someone said I was 'abusing the elderly' and something about 'inappropriate' behavior not befitting of an employ. All I have to say about that is this...Sometimes old people get unruly and you have to do what you have to do. Secondly, Old ladies need love too. After I was released from there I got involved with working for a famous snack cake company. You probably have heard of them. Anyway, they didn't like my 'cream filling'. So they fired me after a someone tried to sue them. I started to notice a trend, and began to notice my work was not appreciated. So I got into exotic dancing at a nightclub. On Ladies night I worked Security, and on Men's night I worked the Poles. I also competed at some tough man contests.
That led me to meeting some guys from Lethal Contact Wrestling©. And here I am!!!
FUN FACT about Evan Turner©!!! Evan loves whipped cream and cherries. Evan is a college graduate! 'Yes I am edumacated.' Evan enjoys graphic novels, Evan has one steel testicle due to an unfortunate incident involving a Banana, a cassette tape, and a gerbil. Evan enjoys underground music. Evan Turner© is cooler than you! Evan is a licensed Monkey handler. Evan loves Mocha lattes. Evan hates hairy toes. Evan loves the ladies in all shapes, sizes, and variates!
To Book Me, go to Lethal Contact Wrestling© in my top friends. I do not respond to booking requests here.
