Martin is only the awesomest, most kickass thing to ever happen to the internet. And now Martin is giving you an opportunity to bask in his brilliance.
"What's so great about Martin?"
That's a stupid question.
"Well what's so great about being Martin's friend?"
An impartial team of judges assembled by a team of lesser judges will evaluate Martin's Myspace family throughout the course of friendship. At the end of each month, a NEW Top 8 will be selected based on their worth. Points will be awarded for a variety of actions a friend may perform during their stay in Martin Sanelli's humble Myspace family. A comment may receive 1 pt, while a purchasing a DVD for Martin may win you multiple pts. While Martin does not condone bribery or define a friend as someone who dispenses free and expensive gifts, Martin will love and cherish those who do and will value your friendship above all others. Friends with the highest amount of points are granted access to the Top 8. Here's how it works:
20 Points for adding Martin into YOUR Top 8
15 Points for the month in which Martin was added into your Myspace family
10 Points for referring a friend to Martin
5 Points for leaving a comment on any one of Martin's exciting Blogs
3 Points for leaving a comment on any one of Martin's exciting Pics
1 Point for every comment left on Martin's exciting Myspace Page
Bonus points can be awarded or deducted at ANY TIME!!! Martin lives life on the edge....online
"Well, what might I stand to gain from joining Martin's motley crew of Myspacians? Why should i jump through hoops to be bestowed with the honor of being in the coveted top 8?"
Points accumulated at the end of each month can be redeemed at any particpating Arby's. Help yourself to a tasty sandwich or maybe even a refreshing cola. Still not convinced? Well, it's no mystery that Martin's Myspace page is a popular attraction on the Web, reaching upwards of 3 to 4 views EACH month. Maybe the love of your life will become smitten with your pic and send you his undying love via a barely coherent email...because he is foreign and dumb. Or maybe a high-profile record exec will sign your shitty folk band, simultaneously unleashing the folk groupie flood gates...releasing both of them. Still not convinced? Read these excited testimonials from satisfied Myspacers:
"Martin taught me how to use abbreviations for my online conversations. I was initially hesitant about adding Martin as a friend, but when I look back at that cold, dark time in my life, I LOL. IMO, best decision I ever made. BFF!"
Kathy Hendlesquirm
"Martin helped cure me of my blindness. I think he might be a Jesus...or maybe even magical."
Ben Spifflister
"Martin really helped me with my self-esteem. I now feel a sense of confidence in myself I never experienced before...even though he constantly tells me I am fat and ugly and smell like a cheese driselled shit-taco."
Mom
So why wait?! Message Martin now for your free 30-day trial. If you're not fully convinced that Martin is the best thing to ever happen to you.....
GO FUCK YOURSELF!
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Watch what happens when one lucky lassy viewed Martin's Myspace Page on live television...
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