Hi I'm Ricky. I love Iced tea, Chipotle, Ranch Dressing, and Tuna with Red Apple chunks in it. I hate mushrooms, pickles, green beans. I suffer from severe insomnia. I am better at arguing than you. You are better at dancing than me. I can't sing for shit. Chances are, you'll think Im strange. Eliza Dushku is WORTH getting star struck over. I am a sarcastic fuck. Fat girls asses in bikinis look like a hundred pounds of chewed bubble gum. There is nothing sexier than great conversation. I have a super weakness for great smelling women, seriously I will come right up to you in a club and smell you and then walk away, lil creepy I know. I think the NFL is scripted and practiced too buy City's new stadiums or political propaganda. I'd rather try to get smoke inside of a glass bottle using a baseball bat than listen to someone complain. Fat baby animals like hippos and walrus's make me giggle like a 5 year old school girl. I hate on myspace when I want to change MY OWN profile I need to do "captcha". I wish I was a Ghostbuster just so I could say "I'm a ghostbuster" when asked what I do for a living, then step back and cross my arms like it was 1992. I believe in treating people how you want to be treated. I am a HUGE music fan. I brush my teeth with hot water. I am a sucker for motivational quotes. I am busier than a one legged cat trying to bury shit on a marble floor. Materialistic people crack me up, because they actually think they are happy. Thinking that we are the only ones in the universe makes you nuttier than squirrel turd. I don't watch too much tv. I once taught a horse to read my emails for me. I DON'T skip the first piece of bread. Maury Povich "You are not the father" episodes rule. , I'll pass. I wish I had green eyes. American Psycho and Silence of the Lambs should be in the comedy section of Blockbuster. I think the *LEEDS* mattress guy should fight the "Your mattress is freeeeeee!" guy in the UFC octagon....I'd buy a ticket. I have to watch TV with the remote in my hand, or else I feel like I'm swimming with one flipper on. I grind my teeth when I get nervous. Anyone who gives 3rd chances are a push-over and callow. I can slam a revolving door. I work well under pressure. Pop Up Video should NOT have been canceled. People need to realize that *reality* shows are SCRIPTED. Saying "thank you" and "please" is extremely important. texting and myspace have lowered peoples social skills. I pretty much live for music and comedy. Shallow people are worthless. I am an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea. I don't take networking internet sites seriously. If you let your friends drive drunk, you have no soul. I think shit-talking on the internet is about as useful as trying to kill an elephant by throwing a tic tac at it. 35 year old guitar center employees that still think their band is gonna "make it" crack me up. I love people watching at bars. People look funny when they're mad. The fact that Bill Paxton was killed by an Alien, the Predator, AND the Terminator should AUTOMATICALLY qualify him for an academy award. Holidays are over-rated. Dave Chappelle is a viable GENIUS. I love the beach. I'd like to watch Gary Busey and Rosie O'donnell grind each other on a dance floor to a Billy Ocean tribute band. I love coconut flavored anything. Laughter can cure more than you think. Fast food is so bad for you, but sooooo good. Screamo type music sucks...it just DOES. I just learned the term "EMO" two months ago. Mathew Fox is not as tough as he portrays on lost. The El Pollo Loco chicken tacos have changed lives. Some of the best songs ever came from the 50's and 60's. I can give a better Blue Steel than Zoolander. If you started smoking after high school, you're an idiot. I have a strange obsession with people over 7' tall. If you have a "metal mulisha" or "Kottonmouth Kings" sticker on the back of your lifted truck, you have NOTHING to say that I could possibly be interested in. Paul Walker is about as good of an actor as Keanu Reeves.....no, YOU think about it. I wish I could use the Jedi mind trick on people. A 1984 Lincoln Town Car is the best car EVER. Having sex, making love, and straight up fucking are three different things.I think humans should fling poo at each other like monkeys do when they get angry. If you don't dress up for Halloween, you are lame. The "25 year old balding/comb over jacuzzi mcdougal", and the "Drunk white girl who can't dance" are the best people to stare at while at a club. Money doesn't impress me. Morning sex when you both have dragon breath is just awesome. I love pouring creamer into coffee and watching it mix. If I worked at the 3am drive thru of a del taco, I'd spit in your food too. I love when two snoring people are in the same room and battle eachother in their sleep to be louder. Songs are more important than bands. The best way to hit on a girl at a bar is to order her a "Gorilla Fart". I wonder if the Devil actually wants the Progressive insurance ladys soul. The Geico caveman and Jack Links Messin' with Sasquatch commercials are GENIUS. There will never be another Johnny Cash or Elvis. If you ever have a chance to see Cirque De Soliel, do it. I can't believe you just read all of my rambling....
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