Long Was the Year |
Give it one more day, and my birthday flan is going to turn.23 just feels like a bureaucratic necessity. Who cares, just numbers in sequence, ma'am. On paper I'll never be 30 if I've never been 23. I ...
Posted by on Mon, 11 Aug 2008 06:03:00 GMT |
2008: Know Anyone with Two Glass Eyes? |
There's a disheartening, sinking feeling one gets upon staring down that tender bulge below the belly button, that pouch that sullenly slumps itself over my pant's waistline. I was young and marginall...
Posted by on Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:02:00 GMT |
Please enjoy the holidays, so I don’t have to |
Officially Christmas Eve, now. Though being rather ambivalent over our lord's birth, I am really sad over his undue death. We lost one potentially good accountant.Seriously I would have loved to make ...
Posted by on Mon, 24 Dec 2007 01:03:00 GMT |
Whiskey + Fudge= good |
Jack Daniels hasn't done enough in merchandising lately (besides who can stand those t-shirts). So it's time to make a bold, sharp move. And what would Jack Daniels himself have wanted? Why he'd want...
Posted by on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 22:00:00 GMT |
Pinata Filled with Bees |
I am 22 today. That's it, it's over, I'm over the hill, 48-year-old men won't hit on me anymore. I'm not having another milestone til I'm 30. God I hope I die before then. How I plan to celebrate.
Posted by on Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:20:00 GMT |
A Merkin and Something that Rhymes with It |
File under: Why I want to quit caring about clothingTopless swimsuits. I'll give you a minute to ogle. No one likes a show-off.Don't ask the obvious. You can find these anywhere choke chains and box k...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 01:37:00 GMT |
As I Lay Dying |
So it's not just the voice (I now sound like Lucille Ball circa 1978), I'm actually SICK sick. Maybe it's TB. I really gotta stop hanging out at the veteran's shelter. I kept showing up to work anyway...
Posted by on Mon, 26 Mar 2007 02:06:00 GMT |
An Ode to The Illustrious Klutz! |
Normally I dedicate my blog entirely to unfunny bitching and general wankery but maybe for once I can look outside my own ugly festooning innards, and to someone truly wonderful in every way: her name...
Posted by on Fri, 16 Mar 2007 23:24:00 GMT |
Just great. |
More daylight. Just what I fucking needed.Yes I've been drinking. Shut up.this post probably won't be here tomorrow
Posted by on Mon, 12 Mar 2007 03:37:00 GMT |
knifin' around |
So I'm now in the lavish master bedroom, it's neat. I keep walking down the hall to the other bathroom though, embarrassedly turning back around in front of my roomate Ed, who damn him always has...
Posted by on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 23:19:00 GMT |
