The Battered Boozehags profile picture

The Battered Boozehags

About Me

Once upon a night so vulgar, one of nine merry muses at last parted her lascivious labia and gave birth to two haggard bawdy wretches. Together, in croons and chords of creative crudity, fuelled by lashings of beer, the hags set forth on a quest for ultimate girth and a mission to destroy all that is banal, boring and booze-free.
They are The Battered Boozehags...
Read the manifesto, admire our glorious visages, kiss our clits or get the fuck off the page...in the mean time take our quiz
Are You A Boozehag?

My Interests

Music:

Member Since: 03/01/2007
Band Members: The Battered Boozehags...and The Girth
Influences: ..
David "The Keg On Legs" Boon
Holder of the 52-can Sydney-London flight drinking record.

Ricky - Trailer Park Boy
He may be fictional but he knows how to get drunk as fuck, 2 smokes Trevor, let's go.
..
Anna Nicole Smith ~RIP~
Lived a boozehag, died a boozehag. May she be downing bottles of champers with the devil for eternity.
..
Shane MacGowan
A proper Irish boozer and a half, he claims that drinking wrecked his marriage... GOOD, marriage is for boring people!
..
Bon Scott
Rumoured to possess massive girth, Bon Scott downed enough turps to put any boozer/hag to shame. Choking on your own vomit is so sexy.

Sounds Like: Empty whiskey bottles being smashed against a brick wall and the pounding of a hangover-hammering in your skull after a night on the piss and fisting a bucket of eels.
Record Label: Unsigned

My Blog

Hitchin’ the Hume Lyrics

I'll tell you a story, a story that's trueAbout a girl who went hitchin' out on the HumeBelanglo State Forest became her tombNever her body they would ever exhumeShe was picked up by a four wheel driv...
Posted by on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 22:42:00 GMT

Is it worth explaining the joke?

It seems some people have missed the joke. I'm not talking about people who don't find the joke funny. That is called getting the joke, but not laughing. Fine. Fuck em. No fucking sense of humour, obv...
Posted by on Sun, 22 Apr 2007 23:01:00 GMT

Girth: An Anthropological Case Study By The Battered Boozehags

..> GirthBoy: An Anthropological Case Study by The Battered Boozehags "Welcome, friends. We have a special treat for you today, an up-close look at 'The Girthboy' in his native habitat. Our phot...
Posted by on Sat, 07 Apr 2007 00:55:00 GMT

The Boozehag Dictionary: The Letter C

C is for...Cab Sav- liquified grape most economically consumed in cask form. The reason your teeth look like they been dipped in a tray of roasted beetroot and set out in the sun to dry.Casks- economi...
Posted by on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 17:43:00 GMT

The Boozehag Dictionary

The Boozehag Dictionary Boozehags aren't some illiterate yokels- we leave that slurrin drawlin err derr bullshit to southern american hillbilly trailer trash. Okay, so we might be white trailer trash,...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 18:10:00 GMT

We Are The Boozehags!

We like to get in scragsBashin' up fucking slagsRather be a drunken whoreThan a sober fucking boreWe are the boozehagsDon't fuck with us, we're on our ragsLike drinkin' whiskey, smokin' fagsShaggin' m...
Posted by on Fri, 05 Jan 2007 07:24:00 GMT