Oh by the way
i am currently looking for some one to play me in a new film
Nigel the Tarantula with Gential Warts in his Eyes
i would play it myself you know
but i don't want to give away my secret identity
the film is being directed
by that berk who did Spiderman
the thing is this time the main guy
is a real spider
Here is a list of what you must be like
oh and i also need some to play owain the penguin!
i will show you all the characters in my pictures
I'd like to meet:
I've already met her
that's Alice my girlfriend
shes a unicron
unfortunatly she has aids
but that does not stop me
tyeing her up with my silky white thread
and jumping inbetween her large clevage
I'm Nigel
one time we got out this picture
of an elephant with a mouse on its toe
and we jumped up and down
and i tyed her feet up with my milky web
and i tied her hands together behind her back
and i gagged her with a football
and i ripped her clothes off her and i
and i
jizzed on her face
Music:
i am intrested in lots of music really
but my favourite song ever is
incy wincy spider
its a bit of a rave if you put that on
especially at the discotech in Brighton
people, crickets and flys
come from miles around
just to see me shake my booty at the discotech
one time i was dancing about minding me own business
when a lovely lady fly come over and dance with me
i was thinking
'What's this slag doing?'
so i gobbled her up
after that i can't go in disco
but i found a new one
in plymouth
so plymouth look out there's a spider about!
Movies:
My favourite movies?
anything with spiders
or other berkish animals in them
Films like
Television:
I Love Nature programs
My friends and family
are often in them
one time my cousin had a wank
while that David Attinbourgh berk
was filming
and he jizzed all over his black socks
i also love th mighty boosh
me and my girlfriend had sex over a picutre of Noel fielding
it was a bit rough
but good fun
Books:
I can't read
the warts get in the way
but some dyke called
Paul
wants to write a book bout me
i think it should be a comic
with its own soundtrack
Heroes:
I am a freakin' Hero
