Jay

The sophisticated lover . . . Always presents himself as a man with a plan. For dinner. For the weekend in Paris. For the urgent lunchtime rendezvous at his place. Buys his lover lingerie and asks her to wear it for him immediately. Feeds his partner either before or after sex. Carries CDs with him to her place--music that inspires him to action. Knows just the right tunes to get her going. Keeps sex a private matter. It..s a pleasure conspiracy of two, and only two. Brings his woman sex toys as little gifts, and wants to try them out right then. Observes classic etiquette as if it..s second nature, not a self-conscious attempt at chivalry. He opens the car door for her. At a restaurant, he always gives her the seat facing into the room, not the wall. Asks her what she..d like to eat and then orders for both of them. He manages the whole dining situation with one goal in mind: to make her comfortable and satisfied. Uses all available technology to rev up the flirtation when they..re apart. Spares her the details of his past love affairs. Keeps the recriminations to a minimum and simply synopsizes in one line: "We weren..t right for each other." And doesn..t probe for specifics of her past affairs--especially not for sexual details or number of lovers. Undresses with a sensual ease. Removes his T-shirt with one fluid movement, by putting one arm back, yanking the shirt from the collar. Can go from clothed to naked in seconds and never gets caught in his shorts and socks. Knows how to unlatch the trickiest bra or bikini bathing-suit top, from the front-hook version (pull together and down) to the snap-back closing (push sides in opposite directions until they snap apart and lift off). Tells his lover with creative invention, and ardor, what he loves about her body. Doesn..t whine about using a condom. Refrains from asking obvious--or self-inflating--questions like, "Am I hurting you?" and, "Am I too big for you?" instantly expands the couple..s sexual repertoire together. Makes it a collaboration between equals in search of the ultimate. Engages in after-play--spooning or light massage--that serves as foreplay. Observes proper morning etiquette: gets up and dressed and walks her to her car or flags her a cab, even if he is almost asleep. Pays for the cab or parking fee. Makes the morning-after call, knowing this turns the corner from postcoital bliss to a renewed seduction. .. a