Gary profile picture

Gary

About Me


Theres this joke from a Woody Allen film called 'Annie Hall', it's a really great movie and I think you should watch it. Anyway, Woody Allen is looking at the camera and starts telling this old joke he heard and it goes something like this...

Two elderly women are at a resteraunt, and one of them says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such SMALL portions."

And that, I'd say, is essentially how I feel about life

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet myself when I was 5 years old and ask him how I'm doing

My Blog

A Fear of Dogs

There has been much debate of late regarding the origins of my unlikely fear of Dogs. Many rumours have been tossed around like used crisp packets or unwanted underwear. Today though, you will hear th...
Posted by on Wed, 14 May 2008 06:05:00 GMT

Notes From The Road

Notes from the road; Its an idea chased. An answer that you'll find if you look outside the four walls that hold your bed, so I get on a plane. The rumbling of chatter and the never ending high pitche...
Posted by on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 08:39:00 GMT

Dear Girl

Dear Girl, whatta drag it gets to be writing for a select fewwriting for anyone 'cept you. Little Daisy, aintyou become so pretty?and I know, I know, life gets kinda shitty,but the man at the bank tol...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 11:56:00 GMT

The Curious Disapearence of Ms. Allens Dentures Part 2

I woke up covered in sweat. The night had been a restless one, and as I reached for my water off the bedside table I saw that the time was 4am. Three hours till I was back in that blasted building, an...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 06:29:00 GMT

The Curious Disapearence of Ms. Allens Dentures. Part 1

All was not well. Poor Gwen Allen, charming lady that she is had misplaced her dentures. Or had she? Suspicioun was rife and word was spreading that they'd been cruely stolen from her night table as s...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 11:41:00 GMT

What Happens When You Hit A 6

Sometimes things can creep up and hit you and knock you for six. Things you hadnt really thought about, or pushed to the back of your mind or hidden someplace. Im not sure where you hide it, its not l...
Posted by on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 05:18:00 GMT

Trains

  "...ya see mate, thats the fackin' problem with this bullshit train system. They advertise a clear fackin' time of arrival and departure then the fackers' change it around to fack' up your own ...
Posted by on Fri, 08 Jun 2007 14:51:00 GMT

The Aeroplane Adventures of Lady Latoya'

Once upon a time I met a lady called Latoya Parks. She asked me to call her Lady Latoya, so in honour of her I present to you 'The Aeorplane Adventures of Lady Latoya'... When I was in America this su...
Posted by on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 10:21:00 GMT

When Saturday Comes

Saturdays are the kid in class who hasn't done his homework. He'd probabaly tried to though, he'd probabaly sat there for a while staring at the page. X = ..what exactly? It doesnt matter, he doesnt n...
Posted by on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 06:37:00 GMT

Round my Grandmas for tea

A whistle stop tour of the relatives. Nans house is warm, smells of food. Always smells of food. Why? Shes always cooking, thats why. A quick hello hug, she goes to kiss me on the cheek and I push sai...
Posted by on Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:59:00 GMT