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Ya Mum

I am The Voice...try and understand it...

About Me

Bathroom Ballerina . Bedroom Rockstar . Collingwood Supporter . Fangirl . Guru/Enthusiast . Mullet Head . Muso . Nerd. Netballer . Personal Assistant . Showjumper . Supafriend .
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Eats too much crap. Drinks too much. Sings very badly. Stays up too late. Thinks too much. Talks out of turn. Plays music too loud. Dances like nobody is looking. So rock n roll so corporate suit…
Just like Jem, Laura is truly outrageous. Truly, truly , truly, truly, truly outrageous. Her best friend once told her she was Lily Alen's twin. Because she also has a big mouth and hates men (in the hetrosexual way). At the best of times she can shut up and go all giggly. This has been known to happen in the presence of people of the male variety, particularly those who are appealing to her. Laura plays netball and also enjoys a run along the Yarra River. After Laura recovers from knee reconstructive surgery she will, again, run along said River. Until then she is forced to swim, which she is insanely bad at. Laura is a Collingwood supporter. See that little cross up there? The red one. Yep to the right...if you have a problem with Collingwood supporters, yep click that one. SometimesLauradoesn'tlikeusingthespacebar. The dumbest thing Laura ever did was put a soldering iron on her thumbnail to test if it would hurt. Derh! Laura’s hair is forever changing. Once she had a mullet with bright red through it. But after she got a job with the litigators right up high in the CBD she decided it would probably be best to perhaps go for a more ‘corporate’ look, rather than the ‘80’s really never ended’ look. There is an additional hole through her stomach as well as in various other places. But, like the tattoo on her upper right thigh, you'll probably never see them (unlessyougetherreallydrunkshelikesvodkabytheway). Laura is fairly HTML and computer illiterate. So do not expect much more than a bit of bolding here and there. She also has no desire to learn. So do not attempt to teach. Laura's world pretty much revolves around her two horses and riding them and jumping over insanely large things with them, playing netball, watching football and yelling at the TV, drinking too much then chundering and missing the band, swooning over buff men, chilling with her chums in the hood and listening to the rad tunes. Laura works with the litigators. So don’t piss her off. Laura has a serious problem with the amount of work on her desk. It is because of all this work that Laura drinks so much. She wonders if Workcover will cover her new liver when she eventually needs one. Laura is an unreal cook (just ask her...or her housemates...or her friends who she uses as guinea pigs for new recipes). Laura once discovered she has no desire to become a farmer's wife. The farmers can stay single for all she cares...they should be chasing somebody their own age, anyways. Chris Cheney makes her squee. Go on, test it. Jane is an emo camera whore. Laura gets in the way of all the emo photos. Even when Jane isn't in them. Laura loves teh Melbourne. And the bright lights and the late nights. One of these days Laura will get off her arse and go to University and learn to become The Man so she can take over the world (MUA HA HA). Laura's favourite song is 'Gloria'. Laura likes to put things in asterisks *like this* sometimes she forgets that she is talking and not emailing people when she should be working and speaks like she is putting things *in asterisks*. At Starbucks Laura often goes by the name Billie. Her two best chums will be closely behind. Their alter-egos are Benji and Brian. They are great friends. In time to come they will look back on this moment with much fondness. Laura's car is red and is named Gunta. He once took them to rAdelaide *chortles*. Laura likes to make her musical pal Becc put words into songs. Such as: Origami, Malleable, Bovis, Recumbent and many more. Bovis sits next to Vectis in the rudest word, evah stakes. Laura has magnets on her fridge that say "Rectify Languid Bovis" which is meant as a direction, not a statement. Laura generally likes to obey said statement. Laura has the best bed hair in the world. You're probably jealous of it, too. Laura's favourite movie is Anchorman. Do not try to out-Anchorman quote her. If you do; prepare to lose. Laura dislikes bad grammar and incorrectly constructed sentences. She feels the need to correct them. Always. The sprinkler is the best dance of all time. Cheeseburgers with fries in them is the best hangover cure and whoever invented it needs a medal. Do not attempt to wake Laura before the hour of 11. Even if you come bearing coffee and cigarettes, you may not live to enjoy them. Laura dislikes the smell of fake tan, but is covered in it several times per week. Laura has also developed an addiction to acrylic nails and is attending weekly meetings to combat this addiction. Laura spends 98% of her income on shoes and the other 2% on alcohol. Laura likes shoes. Laura sometimes wishes she had more feet so she could wear more than one pair of shoes at once. Laura gets much enjoyment of talking in the third person...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Laura
Birthday: 2 January
Birthplace: Carlton, Melbourne.
Current Location: Brunswick, Melbourne.
Eye Color: Bluey-Green. Something inbetween.
Hair Color: Blond. But to you it's black.
Height: 5'5"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Depends on what I'm doing...I mean...right...*shifty eyes*
Your Heritage: Scottish and German.
The Shoes You Wore Today: White Havianas.
Your Weakness: Chocolate and boys. In that Order.
Your Fears: Snakes, spiders and death. Probably not in that order.
Your Perfect Pizza: B-B-Q chicken with stuffed crust, no mushrooms. NOW!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Quit smoking for good.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "Tee-he-he"
Thoughts First Waking Up: "How many sick days do I have left?"
Your Best Physical Feature: Um...
Your Bedtime: When I get there.
Your Most Missed Memory: I have a lot.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke. Pepsi tastes like flyspray.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Donnies. Cheeseburger. Longtime.
Single or Group Dates: Single. It's not a date if the whole world tags along.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: What's C?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate. Duh.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino is coffee, you moron.
Do you Smoke: I try not to.
Do you Swear: A lot.
Do you Sing: Really badly.
Do you Shower Daily: Who doesn't?
Have you Been in Love: Yep.
Do you want to go to College: Maybe.
Do you want to get Married: I do.
Do you belive in yourself: Sometimes.
Do you get Motion Sickness: Yes. Badly.
Do you think you are Attractive: Not the slightest.
Are you a Health Freak: Fuck no!
Do you get along with your Parents: They go alright for a couple of oldies.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Only when I have somebody to hide behind.
Do you play an Instrument: I dabble. Clarinet, piano and bass.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes. And worn it too. Asshat!
In the past month have you Smoked: Yep.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nothing illegal.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yep.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Bourke Street. What else is one supposed to do on a lunch break?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I don't think I've ever had one Oreo. Sheltered life, I know.
In the past month have you eaten Pussy: No. But, thanks for asking.
Have you been on Stage: Yep. I kinda like the attention.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Nup.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Nope.
Ever been Drunk: What kind of question is that?
Ever been called a Tease: Yep. They didn't know what they were talking about.
Ever been Beaten up: Not seriously.
Ever Shoplifted: When I was a badass.
How do you want to Die: I don't.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A grown up.
What country would you most like to Visit: Germany.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: As long as they have eyes I'm happy.
Favourite Hair Color: Whatever.
Short or Long Hair: Scruffy. But I don't really care.
Height: Taller than me.
Weight: Like I care.
Best Clothing Style: Wear whatever you want.
Number of Drugs I have taken: Enough to know better.
Number of CDs I own: Eleventy Billion.
Number of Piercings: Six.
Number of Tattoos: One.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: One.
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Girly Myspace Layouts
I'm in this. It's because I'm awesome. I go off. woo!
it goes off

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My Interests


Becc's Photoshop skills. Janee's make-up skills

Jane and I in our singlets we wore to The Living End

Bliss ♥

Blond hoes

Innocent...?

What Napoleon Dynamite Phrase Are You?
Name
DOB
Date
Pick One
Your Phrase Tina, come get some ham
Napoleonness - 54%

Will You Ever Be As Cool As Napoleon?? (8) - Very doubtful. - (8)

This cool quiz by pimpinit772 - Taken 558174 Times. New - How do you get a guy to like you?

air guitar, afl, animals, bars, bass, bass players, beaches, beer, belts, benson, black, bliss, bourke street mall, boys with guitars, cappuccinos, champagne, chilling, chocolate, city lights, cleo, clothes, cocktails, collingwood, cooking, comedy, concerts, cosmopolitan, cricket, cup day, curry, dancing, dangerfield, denim, dirty secrets, drummers, earrings, equestrian sports, europe, eye liner, expressing my inner anguish through the magisty of song, flirting, fondue, food, french manicures, friday, friday night, friends, getting dressed up, getting my groove on, getting trashed, gigs, going out, going swimming and then having a hot shower, gossip, green cordial, hair, guitars, guitarists, having fun, holidays, horses, hugs, ice cream, indie music, jam, jamming, jewellery, kahlua, laughing, lead singers, lip gloss, little collins street, live bands, loud music, make up, mascara, melbourne, merrick and rosso, milo, money, movies, mtv, music, my bed, my hair straightener, my housemate India's rum balls, my housemates, my mobile phone, nail polish, nando's , netball, other people's business, parties, perfume, photos, piano, piercings, pizza, pubs, roadies, road trips, robert farnham, rock n fucking roll, rockstars, ron burgandy, running, saturday, shoes, shopping, showjumping, silver jewellery, singing loudly, sleep, snow, sport, starbucks, stilettos, straightening my hair, summer, sunglasses, swimming, talking, tanning, tattoos, tequila, tequila sunrises, text messages, text messaging, the beach, the champagne lounge, the cornish arms, the ding dong, the hi fi bar, the mcg, the old bar, the public bar, the rob roy, the tote, the twelfth man, toast, toblerone, tours, video hits, vodka test

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Things Laura hates: annoying drunks, arseholes, being ignored, being told what to do, being used, bossy sluts, bums on the street, dance music (and anything remotely related), credit cards, crudeness (is that a word?), dreadlocks, driving in the rain, emos, ego (it is a dirty word), flies, getting bills in the mail, golf (it’s not a sport), green vegetables, gunt, gutlessness, guys who only think with their dicks, hairy people (wax was invented for a reason), hanging out washing, heat, her birthday, her hair if she doesn’t straighten it, humidity, inconsideration, incorrect grammar and punctuation, indecisiveness, jesus sandals, liars, losing just one acrylic nail, mess, movies with no point other then blowing shit up, no air conditioning, not being able to drive a manual car, not being able to sleep, people blowing smoke on her, people taking advantage, people who are unjustifiably rude or mean, people who don’t clean up after themselves, people who don’t say what they think, people who don’t shut up (ever), people who don’t try to help themselves, people who have too much HTML on their MySpaces, people who just tag along for the ride, people who just try way too hard, people who label themselves when they’re clearly just cockheads, people who pretend they’re posh when they’re obviously not, people who say one thing but mean something completely different, people who sell The Big Issue, people who try to be different and individual but even suck at that, people who try to talk to her on the tram when she clearly doesn’t give a fuck, people who won’t take a fucking hint, PpL wH0 TyP lYk Di$, public transport, r&b, regrowth, sausages, scary movies, selfish moles, shit coffee, skanks (with and without too much make up), sleazes, snakes, spiders, stinky perfume, stuck up wankers, sunburn, the espy, the smell of rain, the week before pay day, things she doesn’t understand, things that don’t work properly, tomato sauce, waking up in the middle of the night, washing dishes (love to her dishwasher), wearing her glasses, when Cameron Cloke went to Carlton, when her iPod gets lost in the bottom of her handbag, when her tan fades, when the streetpress runs out before 5.30, whining, working overtime

I'd like to meet:

Chuck Norris. Chris Cheney. Ron Burgandy. Nathan Buckley. Ya Mum.

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Music:

1200 Techniques, +44, 67 Special, Angels and Airwaves, A Perfect Circle, Augie March, Becc, Ben Folds, Ben Folds Five,

Ben Harper,
Billy Joel, Blink182, Blur, Bon Jovi, British India, Cake,

Coheed and Cambria,
Cold Chisel, Corner Shop, Deep Purple, Dirty Pink Jeans, End Of Fashion,

Eskimo Joe,
Evanescence, Fall Out Boy, Fatboy Slim, Foreshore, Franz Ferdinand, Frenzal Rhomb, Garbage, Gavin DeGraw, Good Charlotte,

Green Day,
Grinspoon, Gyroscope,

Hanson,
Hilltop Hoods, INXS, Jamiroquai, Jet, Jimmy Barnes,

Jimmy Eat World,
John Farnham, John Mayer, Jonny Lang, Kasey Chambers, Kings of Leon, Kiss, Kisschasy, KT Tunstall, Laura Branigan, Liam Lynch, Lifehouse, Live, Lonestar, LRB, Machine Gun Fellatio, Maroon 5, Matchbox Twenty, Metallica, Michael Jackson, Motorace, Muse, My Chemical Romance, Nana Zhami, Nirvana, Oasis, Panic! At The Disco, P!nk, PJ Harvey,

Placebo,
Portishead, Powderfinger, Presidents of the United States of America, Queen, Queens Of The Stone Age, Quesh, Radiohead, Rage Against The Machine,

Red Hot Chili Peppers,
Reef, Rob Thomas, Robbie Williams, Rooster, Santana, Sarah McLeod, Silverchair,

Skybombers, Sum 41, Smashing Pumpkins, Teddy Geiger, The Basics, The Beatles, The Chemical Brothers, The Dandy Warhols, The Darkness, The Datsuns, The Dixie Chicks, The Eagles, The Exploders,

The Foo Fighters,
The Grates, The Herd, The Hives, The Hovercrafts, The Killers, The Legs,

The Living End,
The Moffatts, The Music, The Offspring, The Rasmus, The Rex Wicked, The Rolling Stones, The Scissor Sisters, The Sticks, The Superjesus, The Smashing Pumpkins, The Strokes, The Vandas, The Vines, The Wellingtons, The White Stripes, Tool, Trial Kennedy, U2, White Snake, Wolfmother, You Am I, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Yellowcard

Movies:

Almost Famous, Anchorman, Borat, Clerks, Clerks 2, Donnie Darko, Finding Nemo, Garden State, Grease, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (yes I am in love with Jason Mewes), Josie and the Pussycats, Just Like Heaven, Napoleon Dynamite, Talladega Nights, The Devil Wears Prada, Wedding Crashers

Television:

American Dad, Australian Idol, Big Brother, Family Guy, Futurama, Grey’s Anatomy, Home and Away, House, Neighbors, That 70’s Show, The Footy Show, The OC, The Office, The Ronnie Johns Half Hour, The Simpsons

Which Griffin Family Guy Character are you?


Meg
Your are Meg, you are constantly worrying about your physical feature and what your friends think about you, ashame maybe if you stopped youd have some fun.
Take The Quiz Now! Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Books:

Do trashy magazines count?

What Peanuts Character Are You?


Lucy
Two words for you: Self Absorbed. But you already knew that. You think you're brilliant, beautiful, and that it's your personal responsibilty to make the world a better place. That last would be a good thing if your ideas weren't a little....well...wrong. But you've got spirit, and that's a start! Just don't bother your little brother so much, huh?
Take The Quiz Now! Quizzes by myYearbook.com

Heroes:

Chuck Norris. Chris Cheney. Ron Burgandy. Nathan Buckley. Ya Mum.

My Blog

Get me Demarchelier...

Today I bought a fish.  He's pretty.  He's purple and mahogany (yes, rich mahogany).  He lives in a square tank with black pebbles and a yellow plant.  His name is Demarchelie...
Posted by Ya Mum on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 12:43:00 PST

Illness

Well it's offical.  I have the motherfucking flu.  I herby send a large FUCK YOU to whichever [insert 'c' word here] who gave it to me.  I hope you burn you sack of shit.  If you w...
Posted by Ya Mum on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 07:10:00 PST

Because I am a bored insomniac...

50 random things about You!1. Where is your dad right now?At his house.  Sleeping, probably. 2. Last time you kissed someone?Um...shit I don't remember.  Don't make me think.4. what color is...
Posted by Ya Mum on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 06:25:00 PST

Tis the season...almost

I saw an ad for the AFL preseason on telly tonight and I was all like "khdgkasisfiushdfakf"  Man did I squeal and jump up and down and what not.  I'm totally going to book tickets for ...
Posted by Ya Mum on Wed, 21 Feb 2007 04:46:00 PST

Chris Cheney

When Chris Cheney breaks the law, the law doesn't heal.Chris Cheney cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chris Cheney says.We once had a bachelor party for Chris Cheney. H...
Posted by Ya Mum on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 05:11:00 PST

Home again...

I'm home.  As in my parent's house (who have pretty much wrapped me in cotton wool and are waiting on me hand and foot).  Highly drugged and pretty disabled and in massive amounts of pain.&n...
Posted by Ya Mum on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 11:18:00 PST

Lobster

Right, so we went to the beach today.  I fell asleep.  Twice.  Once on my front and once on my back.  For a bit over a hour each.  Good one fuck head.  I have a...
Posted by Ya Mum on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 02:51:00 PST

I think they've got your number...

Yesterday I bought a new putey.  She's shniny and named Gloria.  She is my birthday present to me; I'm getting me another present, but I can't get it 'till after I come out of hospital. ...
Posted by Ya Mum on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 07:48:00 PST

Stuff

shit i am pissed.  and im going to sing gloria at karaoke. that is all
Posted by Ya Mum on Fri, 29 Dec 2006 01:43:00 PST

bored...

A - Age: 19. Nearly 20. Please show your generosity on this day. B - Best friend: Take a guess.C - Career in future: Something where I get to litigate.D - Dogs name: I don't have one. :(E - Easiest pe...
Posted by Ya Mum on Fri, 24 Nov 2006 07:05:00 PST