beethoven - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Well let me see."I'm about 4 and ahalf year old. The halfs always is important! I'm a alpha male, very intergetic and have it made pertty much! My owners let me live in side as long as I do my business out door's. Witch I do all about 98% of the time and they have a perrty good scense of humor about the other 2%.lol the losers! I listen perrty good but i'll let ya'll in on a little secret! "Sometimes when they think I am ,i'm not! But most of all I love to ride! Watching stuff go by the window voom,voom,voom how great can life be! I eat sleep and shit! I got the world by it's tell ! I wont for nothing.... False Dalmation

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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Benji I think i can take him!and that other beethoven, saint bannard who I'd whoop him and his whole damn family! But let me tell ya to-to was cool,and lassie she was hot! And how about that under-dog if he ain't super what is,I mean besides me!Well sometimes I even run so fast I have to lay in mud holes to cool off,dern that feels sooo good! wooohooo! I want for nothing!!.....................joke of the week!!................... .......................the golfer......................... Two guys are golfing on a course that is right next to a cemetery.After they tee off, one of the golfers notices that there is a funeral procession passing by.So he takes off his hat, and places it over his heart. When the funeral is over, the other golfer looks at the guy and asks, "Why did you do that?"The man replies, "Well we were married for almost 40 years - It's the least I could do......................... .................this my just be cooler! lol.............. WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, and 12................. A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,"What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package? " The dad replies,"Those are for high school boys: ONE for Friday, ONE for Saturday, and ONE for Sunday." "Cool," says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men," the dad answers: TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy. "Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied, "Those are for the married men: ONE for January, ONE for February, ONE for March....etc."

My Blog

THE WATER PISTOL:

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom ...
Posted by on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 22:01:00 GMT

PRAYERS:

The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers before eating?" "No, sir," he rplied. "We don't have to. My mom is a good cook!"
Posted by on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 22:00:00 GMT

LIFE AFTER DEATH:

Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, sir," the new employee replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early y...
Posted by on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 21:56:00 GMT

PALM SUNDAY:

It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm brances. The boy asked what...
Posted by on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 21:53:00 GMT

Talking Dog For Sale...

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the d...
Posted by on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 21:46:00 GMT

A Politician Misunderstood...

Little Billy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.So he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, ...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 18:42:00 GMT

"Arrrrrgh, Matey..."

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns to tell their adventures on the seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, hook, and an eye patch. Curious, the seaman asks, "So, how d...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 18:40:00 GMT

"Way To Go, Einstein!"

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-c...
Posted by on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 18:34:00 GMT

Gotta love little boys.

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" &n...
Posted by on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 03:15:00 GMT

A Modern V-Day...

Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian Aaint and we're Jewish," he asks, "Will ...
Posted by on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 03:11:00 GMT