Bethany

"YOU HAVE RAVISHED MY HEART AND GIVEN ME COURAGE, MY SISTER, MY BRIDE; YOU HAVE RAVISHED MY HEART AND GIVEN ME COURAGE WITH ONE GLANCE OF YOUR EYES...YOU ARE A FOUNTIAN SPRINGING UP IN A GARDEN, A WELL OF LIVING WATERS, AND FLOWING STREAMS...(SONG OF SONGS 4:9,15-16)
In November 2004, I was delivered from some serious oppression that I had been under for about a two years. The deliverance actually happened in Alaska, the rest happened when I got home. If you want to know what I mean by "deliverance" just ask me. :)The rest happened on a night a few days after I had got home up at CLC. I was a mess, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and as I was sitting there the past two years were flashing in my mind like a nightmare and I broke down in tears...and without anyone giving an altar call, I got up from my seat and went up to the front and got down on my face and began to weep and weep uncontrolably. A lady friend of my mom was out in the lobby and heard a loud sobbing coming from inside the sanctuary where everyone else was. The meeting was over, but I didn't care, and I didn't care what anybody thought of me either. I was completely broken and I felt so empty and I began to cry out to Jesus. And then all of a sudden--I started speaking in tongues. Very loudly I might add. :) This wasn't a quite Spirit filled birthing that took place- it was loud and messy. :) And at that moment it was like a light switch that had been turned to "off" turned "on" and I felt this heavy presence all around me that I had never felt before and I immediately knew that it was Him. It was Jesus! :) That night He came and met with me and instead of punishing me He filled me up with His Holy Spirit! I felt this amazing rush of love and peace and joy and I began to laugh and cry at the same time. If there's one thing I would say that almost held me back from going up there that night, it was shame...I felt so ashamed, and I didn't know what to do with my guilt... Shame is attatched to a spirit- and evil spirit, and their mission is to keep people in bondage and away from the love of Christ Jesus...But this is the secret: That when you feel shame come and sink it's nasty claws into you--RUN TO THE FATHER! And let Him hold you and tell you just how much He loves you... He want's all His little ones to be free of all darkness. He's a Daddy on a mission, and He got his little girl free that night... Cuz how many of you know that He's real!