SHANDY. profile picture

SHANDY.

Never underestimate a genius with a chip on her shoulder...

About Me

...just a little girl lost...
...with something to say...but no voice.
"One of the ridiculous things about being a poet is the huge gulf between how seriously we take ourselves and how generally we are ignored by everyone else."
--BILLY COLLLINS.
____________________________________________________________ _________________
.. ____________________________________________________________ _________________ Will my end, justify my means?
Illusions of grandeur and the sugarcoated notions of love have always driven me...made me believe "IT" would happen for me. But I’m beginning to lose hope...because when I love, I never win. Have my disappointments been FOR something? ...towards ANYTHING?
Doesn’t my suffering guarantee me a happy ending?
I often ask myself, "What was I thinking?" …I should have known better. Then, at that very moment…I fall again.
____________________________________________________________ ________________ ...ENTER THE BUBBLE...
...a world created to maintain a lie...a place to hide his shame...
...where no one can see me or break the thought of me...a place to play his game...
I watch as you survey the world, seeking reassurance...a reason to believe, while OBSESSING over the things you cannot change. I refuse to explain or defend my life. I have a few regrets, but my past is not a source of embarrassment for me. I don't need you to fight my battles against the 'Little Birdies'...I won't be judged by them. ____________________________________________________________ ________________ YESTERDAY.
Yesterday was full of sweet words on paper and soft kisses,
...too bad they couldn't last.
You said time flies when you're with me,
... your feelings grew so quickly...
Maybe that's why the beginning became the end so fast. ____________________________________________________________ ________________ TODAY.
Every time I try to read you...your pages tend to turn.
And when I write your spoken words...the paper starts to burn.
You save your happiness for your friends...leave the rage for me.
I sighed and tried and cried then died...so now, my silence is for thee. ____________________________________________________________ ________________ MORROW.
I will live. ____________________________________________________________ ________________ THE POWER OF ALCOHOL.
It can transform a monster...make him kind.
Blur bad moments...leave them behind.
Believe empty promises...crave for more lies.
Reality is daunting...it provides the disguise.
Drunken tryst...gentle stroke on your face.
Then, just like the monster...gone with no trace. ____________________________________________________________ ________________

My Interests


___________________________________________________________ "I love him...I just don't know what I did to deserve him."
--Radio Days [another Woody Allen classic.] ___________________________________________________________ QUOTES FROM MY UPCOMING NOVELLA:
...UNINTERRUPTED EXPLANATIONS...
"My fear of being ‘left behind’ was ingrained long before I met him…I was already broken. So, when problems arose…I panicked. I began to see him less and less…he had no idea what to do or how to deal with a soul that couldn’t rest."

...and...
"Loneliness and I became friends...together, we would chase the drink and seek the 'cookie cocktails'. I just couldn't handle my life without the blur." ___________________________________________________________ UPDATE:
I'm on holiday. In other words...I missed my deadline. ___________________________________________________________ INEVITABLE. (adj.) 1. unable to be avoided, evaded, or escaped; certain; necessary 2. sure to occur, happen, or come; unalterable 3. that which is unavoidable ___________________________________________________________ WORDS FROM A FORMER 'BITTER BETTY'...
I was just kidding. It was all a joke.
Funny, huh? ___________________________________________________________ I AM STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW. ___________________________________________________________ SHANDY...by any other name...just would not be. ___________________________________________________________ Seek RECIPROCITY. Redefine LOVE. Find JOY... ___________________________________________________________ WISDOM from MOM.
"For a woman to be happy in love, she needs to be with a man who loves her more than she loves him." ___________________________________________________________ You might have forgotten me once...but you'll remember me forever. ___________________________________________________________
"It's surprising how well you can get stuff done whilst
you're out-of-your-nut drunk."
--AMY WINEHOUSE. ___________________________________________________________ My mind is my own to change. ___________________________________________________________ By my time's end...everyone will know my story.
And if they don't...they can read about it. ___________________________________________________________ There are (3) sides to every story...this is mine. ___________________________________________________________ Keep your secrets, you owe me nothing.
___________________________________________________________
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
I've been around assholes all my life...I am not impressed. ___________________________________________________________
"It's easier to go back to fantasizing about perfection...
...than to accept that perfection is just a fantasy."
--ANITA LIBERTY. ___________________________________________________________I once bled optimism...now I wear reality's scar. ___________________________________________________________ BE AWARE
and
BEWARE. ___________________________________________________________ I'm currently working on "Explain This".
(I'm hoping to finish before the end of the year.) ___________________________________________________________ IF YOU MISSED THE MEMO:

For those who read the snippets I posted from my "Declaration of Intention" and "Life Isn't A Bitch...Life Is A Man", thanks for your support.

If you were 'indirectly mentioned'...please, embrace the irony and be flattered. You were a source of inspiration.

My next project is a collection of writings...titled, "MANIFESTO of OUTWARD DECEIT and INWARD DENIAL". It will include letters, essays and journal entries...and poems.
ENJOY! ___________________________________________________________
I am worth my own love and esteem... ___________________________________________________________ THINGS I LOVE...

...good poetry, black ink...
...bad men, and a stiff drink...

...My BABY...
...My City...London, UK...
...And My Art...
___________________________________________________________

I'd like to meet:

...the person I once was...
...UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, personified...

And...

And...
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work...I want to achieve it through not dying."
--WOODY ALLEN.
And...
QUOTE du jour..."Got nothing for you, I had nothing before...don't even have anything for myself anymore."
--BOB DYLAN.
"One and one is two. Two and two is four...and five will get you a ten, if you know how to work it"
--MAE WEST.
"You were born an original, don't die a copy."
--JOHN MASON.
"Let go what's gone."
--CHRISTINA ROSETTI.
"No one ever became wise by accident."
--FORTUNE COOKIE.
"You can dance with the Devil...but the Devil don't change. The Devil changes you."
--ANONYMOUS.
"He who loves you, will follow you."
--FORTUNE COOKIE.
"I know a way to stay friends forever. There's really nothing to it. I tell you what to do...and you do it."
--SHEL SILVERSTEIN.
"It's the story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop."
--MARILYN MONROE.
"The grass is always greener on the other side."
--COW.
"GO ROT!"
--WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
And...
My devout fans.

Oh, and...
...AN EDITOR WITH CLOUT.

Music:

...Patsy Cline.
...Billie Holiday.
...the Beatles.
...Tricky.
...Amy Winehouse.
...Mary J. Blige.
...and we love EAZY-E!
___________________________________________________________

Movies:

...Butterflies Are Free.
...Heathers.
...Gia.
...Office Space.
...Steel Magnolias.
...and all WOODY ALLEN flicks...

...Annie Hall.
___________________________________________________________

Television:

...still don't have CABLE.
___________________________________________________________

Books:

...BOB DYLAN AND PHILOSOPHY.
...Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs.
...How to Heal the Hurt by Hating.
...Webster's Pocket Dictionary.
___________________________________________________________

Heroes:

MOM...DAD...and COCO CHANEL.
___________________________________________________________

My Blog

...UNINTERRUPTED EXPLANATION...

I've started a first draft for a new novella.  As it develops, I'll post snippets on my blog...I have a bit until deadline.  Wish me luck?
Posted by SHANDY. on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 08:38:00 PST

My writing hand took a break, but...THE HIATUS IS OVER.

Recent heartache and misfortune has resulted in material I'm really proud of.  And mustering up the nerve to submit my writings to SWIVEL Magazine has become...an obsession.  Regar...
Posted by SHANDY. on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 12:22:00 PST