I'm just a regular joe,
with a regular job...
I'm your average white,
suburbanite slob...
I like football, and porno, and books about war.
I've got an average house,
with a nice hardwood floor...
My wife, and my job, my kids, and my car.
My feet on the table,
with a Cuban cigar...
But sometimes that just ain't enough,
to keep a man like me interested.
Oh no, no way, uh uhh.
No I gotta go out and have fun,
at someone elses expense.
Oh yeah!I drive really slow,
in the ultra fast lane.
While people, behind me, are going insane...I'm an asshole...I use public toilets,
and I piss on the seat.
I walk around in the summer time,
Sayin' "How about this heat?"I'm an asshole...Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
while handicapped People, make handicapped faces...I'm an asshole...Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song.
Ranting and raving and carring on.
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong...
NAAAHHHHH...I'm an asshole...You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadaliac Eldarado Convertable,
Hot Fuckin' Pink!
With whale skin hub caps,
an all leather cow interior,
and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights.
YEAH!
And I'm gonna drive around in that baby,
at 115 miles per hour,
getting one mile per gallon,
sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fasioned non-biodegradable styrafoam containers... YEAH!
And when I'm done sucking down those grease ball burgers,
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag,
and I'm gonna toss the styrafoam containers right out the side.
And there ain't a God damn thing anybody can do about it!
You know why?
'Cause we got the bombs, that's why!!
Two words, Nuclear Fuckin' Weapons OK!!
Russia, Germany, Romania,
They can have all the democracy they want.
They can have a big democracy cake walk right through the middle of Tienemen Square.
And it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference,
because we got the bombs OK!
John Wayne's not dead,
he's frozen!!!
And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the duke!
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off.
You know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that by 15 million times,
that's how pissed off the duke's gonna be...
I'm gonna get the duke,
and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin
and Sam Peckinpah,
and a case of fuckin' whiskey,
and drive down to Texas,
and start some shit bitches!A, SS, HO, LE...
I'm an asshole, and I'm Proud of it!
You Are 86% Evil
You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!
How Evil Are You?
You scored as
Shotgun. Bang! You need shotgun, because it can transform enemy into bloody spaghetti in no time. Maybe you played DOOM too much...
Shotgun
100%
Sniper Rifle
88%
Revolver
88%
Assault Rifle
88%
Machinegun
69%
Pistol
69%
SMG
38%
What Firearm Fits You Best?
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