The work I do usually turns people into blobs, or flesh-eating zombies. But I do venture out of my office-den-of-sin to keep tabs on all of my minions.
You can't rule the world without minions right? Right.
I'm often forced to enter meeting after meeting, which poses some of the greatest threats to humankind, and me. Meetings are where dreams and hope go to die. It's what stops me from ruling the world with an iron fist.
Well, that, and my lack of extra fists.
Can't really say that I hate pushing all this paper around, but there are times when the dynamic maze of corporate politics makes me wonder if I should have gone into something different, like training two-toned, pygmy monkeys to juggle tacos. So I find other things to keep me busy, like seeing if I can shred my way into the Guiness Book of World Records. And as a bonus, I get to sit around online all day long, reading, writing and chatting with people on the intardnet.
And you're one of them...
People say I'm a (corporate) whore, and I'll generally agree. I always seem like I'm on some cocaine bender with the amount of work I do, but I feel so normal. Really, I'm quite normal.
You're the crazy one, not me.
In between the bouts of insanity, I've helped build companies, shot pictures, been published, work out, and I've even shared my life with some amazing people along the way. And somewhere in there, I somehow find a little bit of time left for just me.
Yeah, you guessed it. I've got ADHD. I'd be too ordinary without it, but I am totally insane with it. Too many interests, and not enough time, or clones to handle them all.
How can I possibly be sane being involved with so many things at once, and still find the time to dick around online? You know how I do it? It's not about how much time I have, or even time management. It's simple. It's all about style.
Yeah, style...you just have no idea...
Sleep is for the weak, and one day, it'll kill me, I know it. I can already see the deadlights.
There's a lot more facets to me than that. I'm like a rough-cut diamond. If you polish me properly I'll cut you, but if you screw up while unlocking my stone-cold facade, you'll shatter me like fragile glass. I can be pretty random and weird, with a lot of thoughts and a mouth that won't quit, but can also be quite focused and serious, floating on a perpetual stream of sarcastic humor, coupled with a touch of random sweetness that you can only find in the bottom of a wine bottle.
If you want to actually get to know me, welcome and good luck. I hardly even know myself.
I can tell you one thing though. Getting to know me is one hell of a ride.
