Eric Glass

Born and raised by poor Zulus, Glass was taught the ancient arts of hunting, spear fishing, piercing his nose with bone and typing about himself in the third person. His parents couldn't afford an incubator and instead used a crockpot, which led to his birth name "Stew". He later changed it to Eric because the letters eric are in the word America where he dreamed he would one day live. The letters ica are also in the word America but Glass didn't like that name. At the age of 8, he realized his dream and stowed away on a usa-bound Japanese cruiseship. Several years later he became several years older. Glass turned down a lucrative career as a puppeteer fluffer (don't ask) and more recently he can be found standing in front of a small travel agency wearing a clown outfit, rainbow afro and a sandwich board giving free balloons out to prospective customers. Glass tells his wife he could find much better work but he likes to get out in the sun. Glass will probably start drinking heavily soon. Glass plays guitar when he can...