I wrote a children's book called "Kenneth's Hanky", about a whimsical young boy named Kenneth who loses his favorite hanky, only to have it found by a career-criminal who uses it in a bank robbery. The robbery goes horribly wrong, with 3 tellers, 6 customers, and 2 cops being shot and killed. The robber then sticks a gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger, but amazingly survives. He is visited in the hospital by Kenneth, who forgives him and lets him keep the hanky.
The book didn't sell quite well, for some reason, so my next endeavor was another children's book titled "My Mommy Used to Be My Daddy", about the political and social repercussions of the 1917 Russian Revolution and how it affected the world economy for years to come.
Failing to make a profit, I turned from children's books to "How To" guides; my first being a "How To" guide on home repair and intimate relationships with one's cousin. My second was a guide on floppy disc cleaning and Internet repair.
Shortly after that, I focused on pornography. I directed 27 "projects", all being 2 minute videos involving cooking utensils, baking goods, and Tupperware.
Today I lead a very vigorous and stressful creative life, with ideas and thoughts bouncing around my brain every second. If you'd like to conspire with me, drop a line. Let's make some magic.
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