S H I T C O P T E R

once, long ago, before the age of man, the earth was filled with giant monsters. some called them dinosaurs, but in fact they were robots that only looked that way. created by an evil genius so vile and terrible....the one known as,THE DESTRUCTOTRON 300,0001!!!. this evil, super inteligent robot traveled through time and space only to land on earth with a plan so evil...it might make you shit your pants! the plan went somthing like this: get to earth, make giant destuctobots, train them in south america like in the chuck norris movies, wait for the age of men, turn the destructobots loose on all mankind. this would bring THE DESTRUCTOTRON 300,0001!!! great pleasure being so evil and all. the part of the story that we all know and love is as follows. the dinos die and man continues to develope and spread through out the earth. however the untold story is far more complex. how was ole destructo foiled? how did the dinos really die? who made the pyramids, and those giant statues on easter island?..... i will tell you. in the mid 90's the one and only chuck norris was making a comeback as a kung fu cowboy in dallas tx. one day during filming he stumbled upon a strange find. it was a 300,0001 year old piece of shit!!!!!! at first lil chaz felt like he was gonna puke all over himself and all over the cameras and the wee sandwiches that the catering company set up on a table. after this first reaction he snaped out of his sickness and began to feel a rush of evil power consume him. all of a sudden the poo began to speak. "CHUCK NOOOOOWWISSS... I AM THE EVIL DESTRUCTOTRON 3000,0001!!!!! YOU WILL DO MY BIDDING AS MY EVIL HENCHMAN!! poor chuck was under its power. mean while in a nother part of dallas a young boy named mack and a young boy named ryan in maryland had a strange dream. they found themselfs in a strange place and were soon confronted by none other than CHARLES BRONSON!!! startled they both began to flip out and had no control over there new kung fu skills and began to whoop ass on mr. bronson. this epic battle rage on until they were in there mid 20's. finally the vanquised there opponent and went to a bar where ryan ordered and diet coke and mack ordered a regular coke. after that they were confronted by none other than DOLF LUNDGREN!!!! who sat them down and explained the whole mess. you see boys that was a test. if you couldent beat charles bronson there is no way you could kick the destructotrons ass. after many Q's and A's dolf ran it down. mack and ryan were chosen by GOD himself to go back in time and defeat the evil destructobots and the evil destructotron 300,0001 and the evil chuck norris. dolf said that if they failed the human race would be consumed by robotic terror. so kind of like back to the future and terminator 1 and 2 and 3. the boys had no choise. dolf then gave them the tools they would need in addition to there superb kung fu.... sandwiches, some capri suns, a camera.......but most importantly THE SHIT COPTER!!!!!!!!! a super evil helicopter made of poo poo. fully armed with shit radar, dung canons, a turd machien gun, dookie bombs, and the time travel devise need to go back in time. and so the journey began. would they desrtoy evil forever? build the pyramids etc.? at this point the story can only continue in one place.....your heart.thanx james earl jones.