I enjoy hanging out with Dyana and sleeping in the middle of her bed when she is really tired. Mostly I wander around the house in hopes of finding a scrap of food that may have been dropped somewhere.
I like food. I like food more than I like breathing. The only thing I like more than breathing is Dyana - unless someone has food... then I like them more and when I finish eating it I will go back to Dyana.
I like eating foil and other things that will make me barf later on. I am the perfect guard dog if you want me to guard your food for you when you go to the bathroom. I am really good at doing tricks especially when you're eating good food and you are not paying attention to me. I enjoy farting, but only the silent but deadly kind. Any fart that makes a noise is enough to make me crap my pants. Luckily I don't wear pants.
I enjoy staring contests, I enjoy panting on your face in the morning with my nasty dog breath.
I like to carry my dog bowl around because then people think I'm cute and I get food. Sometimes I drop it and chase it around when I'm bored because it will make lots of noise. People think I don't have any toys because I always play with my bowl. That's not true. I have a million toys - but none of them get me food.
I'm very scared of the high pressure air device that Dyana's dad installed in the kitchen sink so the dishes would dry fast. It makes a loud noise and I go and hide. Then because I look cute I get food.
I like cats - but I don't like it when they paw my tail, drink my water or look at me weird. Mostly I like to smell them. They smell like cat food. I like cat food. I ate half a bag of cat food once. They tried to hide it from me but I'm too smart.
I'm the moderator of a group called "The F*cking Hottest People On MySpace" People request to join all the time. Isn't it ironic. I'm a dog and they send me messages to join my club and I get to be the judge of if you are hot. Really, I let everyone in. I just forward your profile around for laughs. My original goal was to eventually change the name of the group to "The Dumbest People on MySpace" but I have to wait until my group reaches at least 1,000. Lets see if any of you read this before you join. Probably not.I can do lots of tricks. Just ask.
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