Carty profile picture

Carty

I am here for Friends

About Me

MyGen Profile GeneratorSo I looked at my profile and realized that it still said I had not started my job after nearly five months of working there. Naturally, that means I just updated this first paragraph, and now it's all new!!! Good enough for me.
But more directly about me. I am a very strangely fun person. I tend be a little shy at first, but I can open up immediately to the right people. I'm too nice for my own good (though I have my limits). I still occasionally enjoy spinning around until I get too dizzy to keep my balance. I should probably be on Ritalin, but then I wouldn't have as much fun. I'd consider myself fairly intelligent, but you'll probably think I'm an idiot. I hate stupid people, and believe spaying/neutering should be practiced on them. When I say stupid people, I don't mean individuals who are slow and simply can't help it, but moreso people who just don't think. I sometimes like to sit outside of stores that have large windows and watch people walk into the glass. I hate the South, but love southern food (and sweet tea).
Well, if I sound like a hoot-a-nanny, send a message my way. Please do send me a message if:
    You have something interesting to say You think I can learn something from you You are just looking for people to talk to and you can maintain a decent conversation You love to talk about movies, because I'm an addict. You're up late. I'm a night owl in the worst way. You like to dis the bumbling idiot currently taking residence in a very famous, white house.

Please DO NOT send a message if:
    You are stupidSome indications you may be too stupid to send me a message:You are in a sorority and drive a car that is way too large for you to handle You could not figure out who I was talking about in the last line of the do's section.
You are looking for a hookup. I am in a very happy relationship with a wonderful guy. This is him. You have more than a couple shirtless pics. Get over yourself. Though I may still approve you if I reeaalllly like looking at your pictures ;-) You have enough Myspace friends to constitute a small army and you're just recruiting more. I don't wish to be part of your popularity contest. You've ever eaten a puppy... intentionally.
On that note, if you send a friend request, I will probably approve it, but if you do not make an attempt to talk to me I will delete you. My AIM is BaCarty84, or you can send messages here. It may be months before I finally feel like responding, but I will eventually.
Name: David Allen McCarty
Birthdate: 2/19/1984
Birthplace: Chucktown, South Cack-a-lack-ee, USA
Current Location: Clemson, South Cack-a-lack-ee, HELL
Eye Color: Hazel. Usually some shade of or b/w brown and green, but every now and again you can see slate blue.
Hair Color: Medium Brown
Height: 5'7"
Weight: 140ish
Piercings: No thanks, not unless I plan on aquiring another orifice
Tatoos: Not as of yet
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Boyfriend
Overused Phraze: Damnit
FAVORITES
Food: Soups, Broths, Chili, Gumbo, etc.
Candy: Skittles in beer (beer optional)
Number: 24 (hours in a day, beers in a case)
Color: Red on a good day, Puke green on a bad
Animal: Bucknuckalope
Drink: Apple juice or sweet tea
Alcohol Drink: Whiskey
Bagel: Sex Bagel
Letter: W (it's fun to say and also there's those "Dubya, The Douchebag" stickers)
Body Part on Opposite sex: I like boys, but if I had to pick somethin, I guess the vagina, because I came out of one.
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: Depends on my mood but usually poopsi
McDonalds or BurgerKing: McDonalds' burgers, Burger King's fries
Strawberry or Watermelon: Watermelon (Lit's have us a wadermelin seed speetin cawntest)
Hot tea or Ice tea: Ice - I hate hot drinks they make me nauseous
Chocolate or Vanilla Depends on the mood. Chocolate if I'm not horny but want to be.
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Hot chocolate. Coffee tastes like someone shit in a mug.
Kiss or Hug: French hug.
Dog or Cat: With the wonders of gene splicing, I don't have to choose. Mua ha ha
Rap or Punk: Don't really care for either
Summer or Winter: Summer - hate the cold
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Depends on the mood.
Love or Money: Can it be both?
YOUR...
Bedtime: I don't sleep
Most Missed Memory: All those times when I did really funny stuff when I was drunk and don't remember.
Best phyiscal feature: Nose hair
First Thought Waking Up: Hisssssss! The Sun!
Goal for this year: Same thing we do every year, Pinky, try to take over the world.
Best Friends: Punit, Dom, Joe, Justin, Osama (I kid FBI/CIA/etc.), Jesus, Krishna
Weakness: Sweets
Fears: Heights, Crabs (not the shellfish), Cafeteria food, Don King, Being raped by an elephant, The evil monkey in my closet
Heritage: Irish and German. So you see. It's okay for me to be a pale, alcoholic douche.
Longest relationship: In it now, goin on 2 years this May
HAVE YOU...
Ever Drank: See above
Ever Smoked: Yup
Pot: Well I don't smoke cigarettes, so...
Ever been Drunk: See Above
Ever been beaten up: Nah
Ever beaten someone up: Only once
Ever Shoplifted: Hell nah
Ever Skinny Dipped: Yah
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Once
Been Dumped Lately: Never
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: Red. Kidding, I really like guys who have two diff colored eyes.
Favorite Hair Color: Brown or black
Short or Long: Short
Height: Medium
Style: Stylish but not flamboyant
Looks or Personality: Preferably both, but personality is much more important
Hot or Cute Hot I guess
Drugs and Alcohol: Alcohol and/or occasional weed is okay. Anything else I won't deal with.
Muscular or Really Skinny: In between
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: somewhere b/w 0 and 2,978,266
What country do you want to Visit: France, England, Spain, Transylvania, Petoria
How do you want to Die: In my sleep... while driving, or from the most powerful orgasm mankind has ever seen, whichever comes first
Been to the Mall Lately: Nope
Do you like Thunderstorms: Yea. I like it when the power goes out and you have to use candles and stuff. Ooo, maybe I should become Amish.
Get along with your Parents: Splendidly
Health Freak: Freak, yes; healthy, only slightly
Do you think your Attractive: Enough. Do you?
Believe in Yourself: Of course. If I didn't I would dissolve into thin air.
Want to go to College: No, but what else am I going to do with all this drinking talent?
Do you Smoke: Only herbal
Do you Drink: See Above
Shower Daily: Most of the time
Been in Love: (Have your bedpans ready) I AM in love. Awwwwwww!
Do you Sing: When I don't think anyone can hear.
Want to get Married: If Dubya ever lets me.
Do you want Children: Idunno
Have your future kids names planned out: Carty McCarty, Jesus, Mojo
Age you wanna lose your Virginity: 2 yo. Wait, that's a little young. Okay, 2 and 3/4.
Hate anyone: Jared from Subway, the Verizon guy, Narrow-minded people
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
..

My Interests

Movies, Acting stupid, Running, Swimming, The great outdoors, writing lists of stuff with lots of commas.

I'd like to meet:

Hot people: Chris Evans, Michael Vartan, Ian Somerhalder, Brad Pitt, Zach Braff
Other: Seth MacFarlane, Wanda Sykes, the people who invented beer, ramen, fruity pebbles and movies (not all ingredients necessarily together).

Movies:

Way too many to name, but here are a few: Matrix Series, FAMILY GUY, Ocean's Eleven, Confidence, Lethal Weapon Series, Anchorman, Harold & Kumar, Grandma's Boy, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, The Notebook, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and many, many more

Television:

FAMILY GUY!!!!!!, Futurama, Scrubs, Simpsons, Desperate Housewives, Lost

Books:

The Man Who Loved Clowns, The Hot Zone, Job: A Comedy of Justice, The Neverending Story, The snidbits I've read of Slaughterhouse V, Textbook of Medical Physiology (kidding), Dead Babies, Kittens & Puppies: An Illustrated Work, and The Swedish-made Penis Pump for Dummies (I read it for a friend. You believe me, right? But I love those before and after pics.)

Heroes:



Ong Bak music video

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The Protector

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My Blog

Grrrrrrr

So Myspace is really beginning to tick me off.  I have gone back and fixed these damn videos about a hundred times.  And they still manage to screw up.  The thing is I check the videos ...
Posted by Carty on Thu, 13 Jul 2006 12:22:00 PST

Advice for your home telephone

To commemorate my time as a market researcher (yea, I was one of those annoying people that calls and asks you to take a survey), I have some advice for certain people about phone etiquette.1.) Don't ...
Posted by Carty on Mon, 08 May 2006 05:30:00 PST

All the really big questions

I've been wondering...If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a rad...
Posted by Carty on Fri, 26 Aug 2005 07:24:00 PST

Damn lazy-ass bitches

So I was using the bathroom.  I'll spare you the details but the point is this: I came upon a revelation.  WOMEN ARE FUCKIN LAZY!!!!!!  You know how bitches aaaallllways be gettin upset...
Posted by Carty on Thu, 18 Aug 2005 01:27:00 PST

See, God does like gay ppl

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you hav...
Posted by Carty on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Ryan Reynolds

OMG! Ryan Reynolds is fuckin hot.  That is all.
Posted by Carty on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

This is a typical conversation w/ me

**Content not suitable for Jesus groupies.** Is it weird that all my blogs have disclaimers? ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Jeff Date: Jun 13, 2005 7:39 PM you g...
Posted by Carty on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

What's this? A serious blog? Somethin must be wrong.

For anyone who doesn't get certain things in this blog (God, I hate that word), that's prob b/c it's an inside joke. Well, everybody's finally moved out.  I'm really gonna miss this pimp-ass hou...
Posted by Carty on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Hard-boiled balls

Today's bit of randomness (It's vulgar, so turn around and run now if you have any innocence left whatsoever.) : So, I was walkin around campus the other day, thinking about all kinds of random shit....
Posted by Carty on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

My newest discovery

Ok, I had to share my latest discovery with everyone in the hopes that I can save the world some agony. Ok, you know those push pops (yea, the ones from like kindergarten). Anywho, once you finish t...
Posted by Carty on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST