About me:
If you really want to get to know me, then talk to me.
"A lot of people don't want to make their own decisions. They're too scared. It's much easier to be told what to do." -Marilyn Manson
Read My Daily Thoughts
6.24.09
I hate my indecisiveness. I wish I was more certain on my choices. Wish that I would stop changing my mind. Wish I just knew what was best.
6.22.09
I don't have anything particularly entertaining to write about. My lifes going pretty smooth, and I hold no complaints.
6.18.09
It was a rainy day today. It was a nice change of pace, we don't usually get much water here in Texas. I was starting to think that it was never going to rain again. The raindrops relax me for some reason. I love the rain.
6.16.09
I'm trying not to think about it. I really am, but the thought always seems to flow through my mind. I feel like I'm going to falter, I really don't want to break my promise, but its so hard.
6.13.09
Day after day after day. The smoke slowly but surely fills my lungs. The pungent smell of marijuana overpowers the room. My reaction time slowly leaves me. My mind wanders. Yet I continue to inhale the thick smoke. Soon my mind is fully gone, and all I can do is laugh about everything. Lets smoke weed to forget everything. Day after day after day.
6.10.09
I guess as humans beings we are not meant to know everything. Its really frustrating at times. Sometimes we just yearn for answers and never really find them, and sometimes we forget what we are searching for.
6.9.09
You stalk my life, cause yours is so boring. <3 I could really use a cig right now. My head is full of thoughts. Someone buy me ramen. lalalala!
6.8.09
I am actually satisfied with the way my life is right now. I don't lead the most exciting life, and I make the wrong decisions way too often, but I feel like its all ok. For the first time in a while I feel thankful.
6.7.09
I had a horrible morning today. It started with about 30 minutes of continuous vomiting, followed by about 2 hours of stomach turning. Such a horrible feeling. That is why I don't like drinking alcohol, but I guess thats what I get for going crazy the night prior. FML. -_-
6.5.09
Its strange. I no longer have that wavering feel of depression. I don't feel like life is a waste. I don't feel like a ghost. I actually want to go out and do things, not just lay around waiting for my end. I've learned that life is not about the results, but about the experiences you gain along the way. I think I'm finally letting go and living my life.
6.3.09
I finally got home. Me and my rents were on the road. 12 hours driving is not fun. I definitely don't like long car rides. :D
5.29.09
I saw an old friend today. It was completely unexpected he kind of just showed up out of no where. It was a nice surprise and a good change of pace. I was glad he came to visit me because lately I've felt like my life has become so routine. Its not necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes I wish something different would happen. I need a change of pace. A new beginning.
5.27.09
Sorry for not updating this daily but I really have nothing interesting going on in my life right now, and I don't want to bore everyone with my stories of drug usage. xD Maybe things will get more interesting now that summer is bound to start.
5.24.09
I think I'm going insane. Sometimes I really believe it.
5.23.09
I had a strange dream. Everywhere I would go I would cry. People tried cheering me up but I couldn't stop crying. Endless tears fell from my eyes, and I felt the loneliest I have in my life. It was a scary dream.
5.20.09
I'm getting older. It frightens me. I know its a silly thing to say, but it really does. The though of me aging scares me. There is nothing scarier then when a man comes face to face with his mortality.
5.19.09
Before I even realize it, it seems like its 3 in the morning. Then I realize that I can't sleep, so I just stay up watching the magical box. Usually I end up going to bed at around 5 a.m and waking up at like 11 or 12. I wonder why I can't sleep.
5.18.09
I'm such a lazy individual. I'm the type of person who can lay in their beds for the entire day, and be completely ok with it. Sometimes I do feel like I could be out doing something, but for the majority of the time I just see it as chilling out. Quite frankly I wouldn't like to be the type of person who can't have a good time unless they go out somewhere. Sometimes just staying home laying in bed all day is good enough. My laziness is part of me. Sloth. Slow. Pacifism.
5.17.09.
I'm fucking drunk right now. ;D
5.14.09
It infuriates me that I am not able to sleep. Why is it that everyone else in the world is able savor it but me? Am I such a pathetic human being that I cannot accomplish this simple goal?I must be atoning for my sins.
5.13.09
Finally finished this semester of college. It was an interesting experience. I've met some new people, learned new things, and experienced new things. Time passes so quickly.
5.8.09
I've got a lot of growing up to do. I realize that now.
5.7.09
I can never sleep anymore. My thoughts just fill my mind, and I find it impossible to fall asleep. I hate myself for it. Over thinking every little detail. Such a waste, but why do I continue doing it? I can never sleep anymore, someone fix me.
5.6.09
I got my internet back today. I had gone about 5 days without it. I can honestly say that they were some of the most dull days I've ever spent. I am relieved that I have my internet back, and will not take it for granted any longer.
4.30.09
I laze around too much. I should be out doing something productive with my time, not just watching it slip away.
4.28.09
Lately, at around 4 in the morning, I've found myself going to my back yard to look at the stars. I don't think there's another feeling that compares to that. To be alone and just contemplate on the beauty that lays above me. Sometimes we take such things for granted. I'm glad that if even for a couple of minutes, I'm able to submerge myself in this beauty. Some people go their whole lives without having the privilege of this sensation. I pity them.
4,27.09
I had a good hair day today. I know I must so so lame for writing a paragraph about my hair, but the way I see it, it's the little things like your hair that make your day a good one.
4.26.09
Sometimes when I'm smoking outside, I feel so relaxed. I feel like I don't have a care in the world, and that nothing else matters. Its just me and my thoughts, in complete serenity. I wish I could enjoy more moments like that.
I use a sony α300. Its my baby.<3
All graphics done by me. All photos taken from deviantart.com .
