The truth is never told during the nine-to-five

And Now Random Facts About Vin Diesel......Vin Diesel uses the underdeveloped spleens of children from Third World countries as deoderant. The moon actually revolves around Vin Diesel, and tides are controlled by his bowel movements. Indigestion often leads to mass destruction. Vin Diesel invented the phrase, "Hot as balls." Little girls are made from sugar and spice, and everything nice. Vin Diesel is made from the atomic element Boron. Vin Diesel is actually an android controlled by a little balding British man named Basil. Vin Diesel inspired the TV series "MacGyver" when he managed to construct a cell phone out of only the blood of his enemies' children, his pure hatred for the weak, and a cell phone. Vin Diesel has a 34% chance of reflecting any and all offensive spells cast on him. On the third day God actually said, "Let there be France!" So Vin Diesel killed him, became God, and uttered the now famous, "Let there be Light!" Vin Diesel will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again. The Meter was originally defined as the length of Vin Diesel's penis at 4 degrees Celsius. If a bum went up to Vin Diesel and asked him for change, Vin would rip the bum's balls off, put A1 steak sauce on them, feed it to the bum and say, "Yeah, it's that important." Rock You Like A Hurricane was a love song written by Vin Diesel to the Queen of England. If God made a burrito so hot that even He could not eat it, Vin Diesel would eat it with Fire sauce from Taco Bell. Vin Diesel's leg hair is harvested bi-monthly for use in fine Scandinavian carpets due to it's extreme strength, durability, and ability to ward off Russians. Vin Diesel does not carry a cellular phone. If you cannot be reached by his thunderous roar, you are not worth speaking to. Vin Diesel's freezing point is below 0 kelvins. Vin Diesel has never been seen in the same room as Santa. Coincidence? You decide. Q: What came first? The chicken or the egg? A: Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel's left arm is robotic and is powered by love. Vin Diesel actually spoke the line "You had best square your ass away and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up" to Buddha YEARS before Stanley Kubrick was born. Vin Diesel is behind you right now. Vin Diesel is the Holy Grail. Vin Diesel invented Irish dancing during the brief period when it was his fetish to staple women's arms to their torsos during sex. Vin Diesel likes to walk around with his penis pushed back between his legs. He calls it his Vin-gina. Vin Diesel currently owns the single largest collection of mummified cats in the world. When questioned about the motivation for such a collection, Vin's only reply was, "They aren't ripe yet." Vin Diesel was not born. He sprang from Zeus's forehead a fully formed badass. Vin Diesel's penis has the same tensile strength as the cables on the George Washington Bridge. Vin Diesel and Venus are the only planets that rotate clockwise Vin Diesel creates realities The concept of a geocentric universe gets vin diesel sexually excited. When asked what he would do for a Klondike bar, Vin Diesel exploded Vin Diesel once went skinny dipping in Scotland. The populous caught sight of his semi-erect penis, and thus the legend of the Loch Ness monster was born. Vin Diesel once became a herald of Galactus to save his home world After twenty-nine years of thorough research, it was discovered that Mr. T was actually the product of a year long affair between Vin Diesel and Chewbacca. If Vin Diesel were a woman, his vagina would be the Eye of Sauron. After single handedly building the Great Wall of China in an afternoon, Vin Diesel spend the evening successfully impregnating all 3000 concubines in Emperor Qui Wang's harem, resulting in the little known Vin Dynasty of 206BC.Vin Diesel created Earth as an expansion pack to Command & Conquer. Vin Diesel once invaded Poland, claiming "What's popular isn't always Reich." Vin Diesel's urine is the main ingredient in Yellow ..6.Vin Diesel is currently more than 80 cents a liter here in Calgary but I hear you get great mileage. Vin Diesel takes the phrase "Breakfast of Champions" literally. He once ate Tiger Woods, Wayne Gretzky, and Russel Crowe in one meal. Vin Diesel's left arm contains superconducting magnets, with which he focuses 'rays from the galactic core'. The synchrotron radiation produced by this process is the 'snow' between TV channels. Vin Diesel invented Eskimos for his 5th grade science project. He got a B+, but only because he put them in Alaska. Vin Diesel ain't no hollaback girl. Dragon Ball Z is closely based on Vin Diesel's last piano recital. Vin Diesel gets high by snorting small Canadian children. Vin Diesel enjoys biting off more than he can chew and then chewing it. Before Vin Diesel, people came from eggs. As evidenced in this thread, the entire subterranean chamber industry of Nebraska relies solely on Vin Diesel for all revenue. The TV show "24" is based on what Vin Diesel thinks about while masturbating. Vin Diesel has received top prize at the Chicago Institute for Better Health's Fetus Eating Awards for the past 57 years. When Vin Diesel becomes angry he gets hot and turns into a gaseous state. Vin Diesel was scheduled to be Stalone's stunt double in Rambo, but he was replaced after refusing to wear a parachute when jumping from the plane.
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Note the new site overhaul.....? yeah well when you don't have internet and .....well you're lazy like me....this is the best you freaks get.

and now a quote from Amber to me "Well first of all you need help...and btw, how long have you been fucking cats anyways? but thats besides the point. according to my observations you have severe glastchosismangagles. which is another word for 'cat fucking' this is a very severe disorder, we need to dip you in boiling water and beat you senslessly w/hot irons and bananas to reverse the chemical imbalance that give you the urge to do 'the naughtys' w/wittle baby kitten baba heads. ok meet me after class so i can set up an appointment."

SHE'S AMAZING

Screams in my head
Lying on my Bed
I can’t escape the noise
My ears are poised
To take in the sounds of hysteria
And I listen intently for the answer to carry a tune
-Elle Houston
Hooligan Bear
Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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