tiffany

Hi everyone, my name is Tiffany, as you smartie pants might have guessed from the big "Tiffany" above my profile picture. You guys can't be fooled can ya? A little bit about me, if you don't know, and care to read. I like pineapple mushroom pizza, and I put avocado on everything, including your mom.
When I eat pizza, I eat the whole thing because that's how much they give you! When I eat ice cream I eat the whole pint, and when I make cookies I lick the spoon, because dammit... it tastes GOOD.
I listen to Hollywood Undead in my room with the volume up, grab my would-be balls, and mouth the lyrics to my lamp while pretending to hold a microphone.
Everybody thinks I wash my hands after going to the bathroom. Which is... sometimes true, but I like to switch it up and be mysterious like that.
I can seriously kick your ass at any super Mario bros game. Including, but not limited to: Super smash bros, Mario Kart, Mario Golf, and Mario Party.
My goal in life is to eat a horse. Because I've said so many times "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse", that I think I deserve to actually eat one by now.
I like to dance when no one's watching. ..and when I'm drunk ..and when I'm sober in my underwear when everyone is watching... I just like to dance goddammit! Let me dance! No, YOU'RE a nerd. One day I'm going to own a mansion with a roller coaster that starts inside and goes through all the rooms and the backyard so walking will be optional in my house. I'm going to have my own Chinese chef who goes out and gets me orange chicken from Panda Express, but pretends that he made it when guests come over, so they'll be like "Wow, tastes just like Panda Express" and I'll be like "Yeah, you wish you had your own Chinese chef don'tcha?" and then I'll glance over and wink at him and we'll exchange a silent giggle because only we know the truth.
I once got a fortune cookie and the fortune was this:
"Believe in yourself and you will succeed"
Which made me think hard... about why the hell self-help book authors are now writing fortunes in my freakin' cookie. I then yelled at the cashier for giving me a faulty fortune cookie. I said "this ain't no goddamn fortune", because I'm no fool, and I don't think he'll ever try to pull a fast one on me again.
Sometimes when I go to the mall, I like to have "freak out" moments. All you do is ask for [enter desired item here] politely then scream "FUCKIN' NOW!!" and break down crying. 6 out of 10 times you'll get what you, or get dragged out of the store by security. I forget.
I think everything looks better in Firefox. *COUGH*
I get rave reviews:
"Tiffany is so cool, I want to put her in my cereal and eat her" --Mario and Luigi
"I sleep with Tiffany every night, she's amazing!"--Duckie (Tiffany's giant stuffed duck)
"We are currently trying to clone a population of Tiffany because she's so great"-- The aliens from planet Xubon
This is the official Tiffany myspace page, it was created because on my original myspace page I denied everyone who I hadn't met in person. I followed the slogan "myspace, a place for friends" to heart, and only accepted, well... friends. But then I started thinking, that's not really fair for all the creepers, the weirdos, the stalkers, the myspace geeks, the fantasy nerds, the hobos, the bums that use myspace at the library, the wannabe models, the Nazis, the pro-lifers, the meat heads, the skinheads, the rednecks, the Antichrists, the illegal aliens, the bands that will never make it, the bands that will make it, the child rapists, my mom, or people with down syndrome, is it? No, they should ALL have a chance to be my friend. Because I'm all about peace. And laughing out loud at girls with sideburns or mustaches. You can look forward to exciting blogs and bulletins and event invitations to orgies and kkk rallies (just kidding black people, I love you!!)
So enjoy! I hope that my obscene humor and perverse writing greets you like heartburn greets old men. It hurts, but it makes you feel alive.
Tell all your friends they can now be my friend, and no longer fear rejection! *except for albinos*