I enjoy writing to things and people who are unlikely to respond. To Whom It May Concern
Drinking after giving blood is a bad idea. Don’t do this. All that’s going to happen is you’re going to get kicked out of your friend’s dorm room after nearly knocking his gigantic monitor, “Yugo†off it’s table tray. If you walk away with nothing else from everything I’ve taught you through this blog about my personal misadventures, heed this warning.
Dear College Learning Experiences...
I mean, face it, you guys are the “trashy family†on the block. Even in a trailer park, I think, this phenomena exists. There is always a trashy family on every block, in every apartment building all over the country. You know, the one with the dawgs, or the 18 unkempt children, only three or so of actually live at the house. Someone living at the house is an amputee, or they get frequent visits from local law enforcement. The sort of people that would park a car on their lawn. And leave it.
Dear Neighbor's Disturbing Use of Electricity Resources...
And none of those interesting places were in New Jersey, a map of which we cut up into the 21 counties and put it back together. For a grade. If I wasn’t such a nerd, the whole maps thing would have died right there. But, being the escapist nerd I am, I kept studying those maps, thinking of the day I would be able to leave that sandy shore town, wallowing in Cape Cods and stinking of New York City’s garbage. I would need to be prepared, you know, when I get married and the first thing my new husband would say would be, “Where should we go? We need to be far away from here.â€
Dear People Behind Strange Maps...
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