I am NOT James Gunn, nor do I imply that I am. I am his GOD! Why would I lower myself to being just James? Honestly, I don't understand you mere mortals sometimes!
Hello there, my children. I am James Gunn's God. I have a sense of humor and I like to fucking swear, alright?
I'm sick of all you losers worshipping me and wasting a perfectly good lie-in day to torture me with your atrocious singing renditions of some badly writen hymns.
It's time to lighten up, you fuckers! Enjoy life. Live for yourself. Live each day like it's your fucking last - and for most of you, just get a fucking life already.
For the record, I'm totally against that 'no sex before marriage' BS - go have fun! If I wanted you to save yourself, I wouldn't have made you so fucking hormonally driven crazy!Also, yes, I am an atheist. I have confidence issues and I just don't believe in myself right now. I'm in therapy, it's a sore point, so lets move on...
You can send your prayers and any messages my way by clicking on "Pray". If you wish to add me as a friend, click on "Convert" and feel the awesome power that is James's God. Okay, I am an extension of James so I'm actually pretty lazy and can't be arsed doing anything major, like cure world hunger, but I might answer your messages and maybe I'll make a comment back. I only do as James does, so I can't offer much!
For now, follow these simple commandments:
1) Thou shall not use James in vain. Except me, I rape him on an almost daily basis, his ass is just too good to resist.
2) Thou shall watch every movie James was attached to. Including Thirteen Ghosts (trust me, you'll just love when that guy gets halved, it's beautiful!)
3) Thou shall read all of James's work. There's underground comics out there somewhere but you must at least read The Toy Collector
4) Thou shall enforce SLiTHER upon all those dumb enough not to have seen it yet. Torture is permitted
5) Thou shall respect James's wife, Jenna. Even if she is a beauty, she's NOT yours. Oh and James is unavailable too, of course.
6) Thou shall make pilgrimage to James's original place of residence, St. Louis.
7) Thou shall read lots of comics and graphic novels. All you rich fuckers must set aside $100-$150 a week for this habit to become a true follower. Poor people, lets say $10, k?
8) Thou shall make and laugh at fart jokes as often as possible.
9) Thou shall do Shaggy and Scooby impressions at any given opportunity.
10) Thou shall masturbate frequently and especially after every James blog. This is even more vital when he requests such an action.
