'03XBear9S-HELLBUELLY EXTRODINAIRE!

Hope you like to read...

I love my
BUELL
'03XB9S
LIGHTNING!!!

A Buell Prayer

The motorcycle is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
It maketh me burnout on black pavements;
It leadeth me beside busy freeways;
It restoreth my soul;
It leads me in the path of quickness for its names sake.
Yea I walk through the valley of rice,
I shall fear no turbo,
for Torque art with me;
Thy clutch and thy throttle they comfort me.
Thou preparest a Track for me in the presense of mine enemies;
Thou hast anointed my engine with oil;
My bike overpowers.
Surely traction and victory shall follow me,
All the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the CC's, Forever.

Amen

________________________

More than any other word that could describe me, I call myself an artist. No matter the medium- paint, pencil, pen, sculpture, landscape design, merchandising, music composition, poetry, prose, mechanical design, vocal. Hell! Just deciding what to wear. I am compelled to create. Even the atmosphere that surrounds me, is subject to my whim. I follow an instict that is completely inate, and that drives me to change what I see and feel, 'till it suits me. I think lucky few of us are given this gift. Most aren't aware of it. Some hate it. Its like something from the TV show, Heros, which is probably why I love that show so much!

When Albert Einstein was asked about the secret of his genius, he replied, "Some see a glass half full. Some see a glass half empty. I see a glass twice as big as it should be and ask, 'Why?'" Its the same way with me. I see what could be and then find myself compelled to change it.

When I was a kid, I' hung with this group of friends, all of which were social rejects. I'd be glued at the hip with them and hated being parted from their company. Always adding to the mix. Always taking into our group and molding our newest companion to our ways. If I was left alone for any length of time, my poor hair would suffer for it! I'd cut it off, or just half of it, or make it red, or blonde or some other horrible thing.

It took me years and years to gain control of myself. Being ADHD in nature, its taken me a lifetime to control my impulses. I can't shut up as my brain works faster than my mouth. I say the damnest things and have to continually apologize for my lose lips. But, for the most part, I can control myself these days. As long as I can keep the endorphines firing off in my head, I can be a fairly mellow guy.

The result of all this, is my constant search for stimulus. I am a true adreneline junkie. Things like myspace are an outlet to explore my artistic nature. Things like my Buell keep me happy on the inside. I smile like a stupid fuck on that bike, all the time.

When we went to Big Bend, we came over a hill where the hill country becomes the arid desert and the floor of the earth falls away right in front of you. The panaramic view took my breath away. The cold chill of the front we'd just passed through, left the air dry and the sun was like fall, low in the horizon and in that moment, I was HIGH! I took a picture in my head. I hold it, and return to it, over and over.

There were several moments like that. That's what interests me. That's what I'm looking for. Moments like that. I find them everywhere. Sitting in my front yard in my little Key West patio overlooking my freshly mown lawn in the summer, when the grass is green and tall. The black birds coming down and picking bugs out of the now short grass, and the heat of summer overwhelming me. Feeling the sweat on my forehead and waiting for my breath to come back to me from the exertion of the labor just completed. Can you follow?

My home filled with 30 off the best of my friends and the wine is flowing and the food smells good, and there walls reverberate with the sound of voices and laughter, and I step out back to the patio and sit for just a moment with a glass of Crown in my hand and take it all in. I notice the cold of late December, but I'm warm from the demands of my guests inside. I take in that moment. My friends all around me and suddenly I'm filled with a different type of warmth when it occures to me that I am so damned lucky. I take a mental picture. I pray my memories are never robbed of me.

Have you done this? Have you ever stood in the coldrum of an extinct volcano with 20 feet of teal water beneath you, made black by the night. The same night that holds a full moon on that All Hallow's Eve. The same full moon that lights the island that rises up on all sides of you and gives you a shiver as you think, "This must be what its like to step foot on Mars". And then you turn around and see the moon paint a white flickering trail to the horrizon where the island that cradles you opens up to the sea and you know that you could head in that direction and not see another spot of land for days and days. The clouds above fly at great speed, changing shape as the wind whips and pulls at them. Tearing them apart and putting them back together, they cover the moon every couple minutes or so, drawing your attention back up to the sky, filled with millions and millions of never-ending stars. The warmth of the red wine in glass I hold filling from the inside. My head spins. I'd take you there. I'd share that with anyone who could appreciate it the way I do. Another mental picture. Another completely satisifying moment.

I am the ultimate self-medicator. All ADHD people are. We need the stimulus. We hate the lack of it. We seek it out. We find ways to calm the craving. Got a friend who's a pot-head? Take another look at him. Got a friend who binge drinks? How 'bout that guy (or girl) with the insatiable need for sex, that keeps getting him in trouble? Impulsive personalities, all of them. All of them self-medicators. Many of them undiagnosed, and/or unaware of their affliction.

I consider myself lucky. There are legitimate meds out there for people like us. Science has come a long way to remedy our ailment. But, I don't want to be a zombie. I consider myself to be a hightly funcitoning ADHD. I've learned to cope. I still drink too much sometimes. That's a hazard I don't think I'll ever overcome, but I am in control. I have learned to focus my energies and my compultions in positive directions.

Know thyself. Like an alcoholic who walks into a AA meeting for the first time, stands up and says, "my name is _____, and I'm an alcoholic." We all have to take that first step towards recognizing ourselves and taking control of our lives. Its fun to let go from time to time, but in the end, our lives are what we make of them. I've chosen to embrace my articstic side. I've chosen to be the artist that is inside me. I am compelled to create. I make my world what I want it to be, just like this page. It is a reflection of me. It's about me. It is my vanity in all its glory, and its a work in progress....