Tiny[EDonly] - ProfilesArchive

About Me

DIAGNOSIS: BiPolar Disorder; Dissasociative Personality Disorder; Manic Depressive Disorder; Eating Disorder (Anorexic-Bulimic); Body Dismorphic Disorder; Self Multaliation; Addiction; Suicidal... I am a mess! NOT PRO ANA!!! Ive lived 14 yrs with Anorexia and Bulimia= Bulimorexia. Im 21 now- I've stoped fighting it and I just TRY to live with it. ITS NOT A CHOICE- its just the way I exist. There is no "food" I can eat without purging (I keep down 60 cal. yogurt and EAS 100cal. shakes and Sugar Free Jello)... This is no way to live- moveing through the day in complete FEAR of food. Not having one thought that is not tainted by food, weight, shame, guilt, fear, DEATH,... However, it's what I do & how I am. I have no choice- Ive tried it all: 6 different inpatient hopitals; resedential; pills; therapy; groups; tubes; hypnosis; etc... what your left with is YOU- thats my problem...how I see it I have 2 options: live like this or die... death sounds so much better than what each day brings...
Eating Disorder Info
Age: 21
Height: 5'9"
Current Weight: 120 lbs.- 117 lbs.
Goal Weight: 90 lbs.
Highest Weight: 165 lbs.
Lowest Weight: 107 lbs.
Max Intake: 120 calories
Exercise: Horseback Rideing; Kickboxing; Running; Situps
Type of E.D.: Anorexia w/ Purging (Bulimorexia)
Treatment: 6x's InPatient; 3x's Outpatient; Therapy; Pills... nothing works
Thinsporation: Nicole; Runway Models
Favorite Food: I hate food- I only eat the 60 calorie Youghrts
Diet Pills: SmartBurn; XtremeLean; Niacin; Biotin; CLA
Other Disorders: DissociativeDisorder; PTSD; ADD; BiPolar; Addiction; SelfInjury
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Background from Google search result

My Interests

NOT PRO ANA!! Vegetarianism Veganism PETA Ketosis Diet Pills Self Mutalation Suicide Models Bones The Art of Invisibility and Dissapearing.

I'd like to meet:

NOT PRO ANA!!! People who have had thier ED's for a long time (6,8,12 years; etc)... there is a big difference between 1 and 4 years... I ONLY ADD people who SUFFER with ED's- not people who are TRYING to "meet the criteria" of an ED, or who think it's the "in thing" to LOOK skinny, or people who want to loose some weight- GO AWAY- look up some bloody diet on the internet and stick to it- but DONT come asking for advice on how to be "skinny"...because thats not what Im about... I dont even know what Im about anymore...

Music:

Audry Hepurn (my idol)

Movies:

Your Body Image is 100% Unhealthy, 0% Healthy
You don't feel good about the way you look... pretty much ever.
And it's impacting your life so much that you need to seek help. How's Your Body Image?
You Are 92% Borderline
It seems like you have borderline personality disorder.
Seriously consider seeking help, even if you think you don't need it. Do You Have a Borderline Personality?

Books:

Final Exit

My Blog

The "sick" check list of ED’s

So this info was going around thought my friends on here and it really hit me that I could anwser "yes" to most of these "symptoms"...I remember some years ago thinking that if I could just have one o...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Sat, 10 Nov 2007 01:48:00 PST

Im an addict

thats all it is-....but its what all of it is.... it calls me everyday- even when i know deep inside i dont think i should or need to....the warmth, the release, the satisfaction, the calm...its satis...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Mon, 15 Oct 2007 09:09:00 PST

Must watch\read this- esp. if you purge- PLEASE!

This blog pertains to this video found on YouTube: Please go watch this video befor reading further- thank you!After watching this video I had a flash of realization... I cant pick how this E...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 11:47:00 PST

Daily Calorie Journal

Daily Food IntakeHow Many Calories in One Day?190Breakfast Calorie Count:0Lunch Calorie Count:0Dinner Calorie Count:50Sanck Calorie Count:140Daily ExerciseCalories Burned Walking..Jogging..Running:Wal...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Fri, 24 Aug 2007 07:52:00 PST

Great video about the hold of an ED on life

finnaly- a video that shows what its like...no glamor or glirtz- just the inner self...watch!Check out this video: hold me Add to My Profile | More Videos...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:44:00 PST

The cold hard truth

So this weekedn was filled with nothing but eating and ourging- if youve noticed that I dont ever say "binge and purge"- its because I dont binge inorder to purge...when I do eat solid food I purge it...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 03:14:00 PST

Food List- "Safe food" vs. "Binge food"

These are the only things I can eat and not feel guilty for keeping it down. How did it ever get to this:-SuagrFree Jello= 10 cals. per "cup"-EAS AdvantEdge Protein Shake= 100 calories per shake-Advan...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 12:26:00 PST

So true- ED video

Check out this video: MI. fae Add to My Profile | More VideosNot only is this an awsome song by Damien Rice but its one of the better ED videos out there. It has alot of images of MK- but ...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Fri, 17 Aug 2007 03:00:00 PST

My past torments me

My past haunts me so much- Im such a prisioner to it- I go to therapy but it dosent help. It makes me feel more guilty for my feelings- more of a looser for being how I am. I cant fucking help it that...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 03:37:00 PST

again- Ive failed again (period)

why the fuck??!! what the fuck??!! how the fuck??!! its all my fault- im bad...i got another period- OMG I could seriously see myself killing myself over this- its horrible!! But I can fix it- I am th...
Posted by Tiny[EDonly] on Tue, 14 Aug 2007 08:08:00 PST