♥ Journal entry pics ~4-18-08 :0) ♥

Got this wolfie on Feb 6, 2007 ... it's located on my back, to see my full back of tats, click on title red riden hood and wolfie tat in BLOG ...Peace!

..By scrolling you will find a little piece of me in my a JOURNAL! Any links below can be found on "Who is Vickie" link located on my website. I am sure you can find your way around. Check back for updates; Update daily (maybe)

To read more in my journal 2006, 2005, 2004 and the rest of 2007...go to

http://www.vickiewebsite.net/Who_is_Vickie.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:0)

4-1-08~~Edit to add;...I added another new album, "April Fools day 08"..My son got me this morning. He saran wrapped my car...lmao...Joke is on him because last night during our shopping spree he picked up 2 boxes of saran wrap. He got the expensive wrap at that so the allowance I give him this week will be 6 bucks short..You had to see his face...lol...now I can say April fools to you my baby boy...lol...I would never take from you but I can have fun trying..giggles...See my boy does love me...hah hah hah

3-31-2008

It has been since January since I last wrote. Maybe I will pick it up again once things calm down... I added a new album to Myspace. (St. Patty's Day/Easter 08)…check it out and comment if you dare.

I really feel the need to vent today. I have had a lot on my mind. I know people only do to me what I allow them to do to me. Only I can allow someone to break my spirit, and trust me that would never happen because I wont allow it! Those around me has and always will learn from me. I can’t tell you how many times I heard this from others, including my online friends and readers. I must be doing something right in my life for others to follow in my footsteps and take my advice seriously.

In my reality, life has taken a very pleasant turn.

I did something I thought I would never do in my lifetime. I vowed I would never do again! I definitely feel good about my decision.. Being conniving and straight up fucking greedy gives me the right to play even!. I be damn if I am going to sit back and watch my friends-family being hurt or taken advantage of. If I am able to help, I will and I did just that...

It just burns my ass to see how low people go just to have the last word….do your threats …have your tantrums …do you baby cause I got a news flash for ya…we will get through this and I have already replaced everything and I MEAN EVERYTHING…so there :0)!

Moving on…..

I was at a luncheon with my friend , and we started talking about relationships and adultery because of recent accusations came forth. STUPID BITCHES THINK THEY KNOW ALL WHEN IN FACT THEY DON’T KNOW SHIT!

Anyhowzer…

While we were discussing relationships, the question of being ‘true’ and ‘in truth’ to oneself came up. That’s when I commented about something that happened to a friend of mine. About 3 years ago a friend of mine was quite upset because his sister called his mother to say she was getting a divorce and moving in with her boss, who was also getting a divorce. On the face of it, it seemed to throw every value he was raised with in his parent’s face, yet a year ago we revisited this topic and he admitted that for years before his sister left her marriage, the ’signs’ were there - no one wanted to see them though. It turns out that both parties were living in a dead marriage with no hope for revitalization. They existed together but had grown apart in almost every conceivable way. By the time his sister decided she couldn’t live a lie any longer, her husband was relieved, as living as room mates and buddies was not his idea of marriage. Adultery, as the term is used, does not happen in a void. If two people are truly in love, committed to each other and honest about their relationship, adultery will not have room to exist. This is because if the marriage is going to end, it will end and not “live on” propped up by artificial “life” saving techniques where one partner has created a belief, often a very committed belief extending to friends and family, that everything is fine while the other partner is wresting with dealing with a disconnect in truth.

Are these situations preventable? Maybe… Most of change over time, some of us grow spiritually, some of us reject spirituality, some of us need to be right about everything and some of us are willing to try to understand another person’s point of view, some of us are somewhere in the middle, and on and on. When two people end up at diametrically polar opposite positions, and would NEVER get together if they were single but they are still bound due to marriage, it is their personal responsibility to be in truth with what is going on. This truth needs to be not just with themselves but with the other person. If one person is willing to live a lie then the relationship will, inevitably suffer in some manner. A relationship needs to be based in honesty and truth for it to survive and be fulfilling and not empty.

With that said, I just don’t understand why she thinks the situation was preferable to what the future offers, which is being on your own all wrapped up with at least the potential to find somebody that is a better match. Why fuck around to cause more pain?…WTF...you have to know you can not have your cake and eat it too…guess two strikes and your out…lucky for me…..Anyhowers my point is…being on your own gives you the strength and backbone to take care of yourself in all aspects . If you cannot take care of yourself than how can you expect to care for anyone else.

we are moving on, and so far, continuing to deal amicably and with respect at least on our end.

I felt myself seizing up tears the other day, all from thinking about what is happening at the moment. The good news, I am very supportive - so you need to get a life! Seriously pull up your skirt! Go see a counselor and tell the whole truth! I can bet your ass the advise you receive will actually help you figure out who you really are. Just so you know, your actions are speaking louder than your words. For the record, I could care less as long as he's happy and guess what HE IS HAPPY no matter what you say or do! I will always stand by him because that’s what true friends do for each other.

Stepping things up…All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.

From my experience, blaming others is a sign of low self-esteem because in doing so we are not taking responsibility. If you do not take responsibility you will always be a victim of your circumstances. Take it from me! I may be old (as u put it) but damn I sure know what I am talking about. I am a wise women.

Speaking of…

I use to blame everybody and everything in the past until I realized that in doing so my circumstances were not changing and my self esteem did not improved. When I became aware of this behavior I took the decision not to blame anymore. Whenever I find myself blaming people or circumstances I stop and I say to myself: Is time to take responsibility and I take action. This new behavior has helped me to build my self esteem because I do not feel the victim anymore. Remember I became a women at 14 years old. I was a child raising a child so my world different yours!

Here are some tips to stop blaming others and circumstances:

• If you made a mistake, admit it.

• If there is something in your life you are not happy about, do something to change it.

• When you find yourself blaming stop and say to yourself: is time to take responsibility.

• Be open to other’s people opinion and if you did something wrong apologize. Remember that you are not always right.

Self-Responsibility:

• I am responsible for the achievement of my desires

• I am responsible for my choices and actions

• I am responsible for the level of consciousness I bring to my work ---FYI - Yes I do have my own money

• I am responsible for my behavior with other people – coworkers, associates, customers, spouse, children, friends

• I am responsible for how I prioritize my time

• I am responsible for the quality of my communications

• I am responsible for my personal happiness

• I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values by which I live

• I am responsible for raising my self-esteem

I am just at the point where I would love to go somewhere warm for a while and roast on a beach, but I don’t want to take the following step as of yet. I rather wait this out and I do believe time will catch up with us.…:0) Damn I just thought of a great idea. I will take my sexy to a place he has never been. His birthday is around the corner so it will be perfect timing… time to get er done :0)

Good things come to those who wait and god knows I waited a long time!

At this very moment, I am paying attention to Sir Allen (I like to think of authors as the royalty of America-- excuse me, good authors, that is.)

If you are feeling out of control, unable to manage your obligations with calm, cool, and collectedness, get one of his books. I think he is on to something.

I feel much better just venting and moving on with things ...thanks for listening :0

Have a splendid week. Do yourself a favor and do something different. The best way to break a routine is to see it from a new vantage point, like someplace you've never been to before, even if that is only the next street over on your weekly dog walk . Doing things differently doesn't always involved doing things hugely differently. Just differently. :o)

---------------------------Take care!:0)

1-18-2008

I hope everyone is having a good year so far..this year is going by fast for me...I can not believe we are going into our third week already.

wtf...slow down...I really don't want this year to fly by me like the last 6 months...I am having to much fun...

Anywhoooo...I been cooking up a storm these past few months...My sexy finally gave me the chance to show him what I can do in a kitchen...

I showed them with taste..lol...My son loves my spaghetti and homemade meatball subs, has yet to tell me he don't like something ... My sexy loves everything I cooked up so far, especially my chicken pot pie (made from scratch I must tell you)..and my Pot Roast, Fried Chicken and BQ Meatball subs...I guess I will add a list below what I have cooked in these past few months, just in case some of you would like my recipe...

over the years and I mean many years of changing this and that just to get the taste I like, I play with it and add my notes to that dish of what NOT to do just so my girls can have a little piece of me when I am gone.

Here ya go, I bet ya I can change your recipe..:0)...match my taste to your taste and see what ya like best!

note: all my dishes are made with lots of love & from scratch, no short cuts...WARNING; if your watching your weight, my dishes won't work for you!

Fried Chicken, Bq Meatballs, Chilli, Creamy Scallop Potatoes, Steak w/ onion & green pepper

Chicken Pot Pie, Spaghetti, Cheesy Chicken, Apricot Curry Pork Chops (in crock pot)..don't like oven!

Bq Ribs, Meatloaf, Cherry Cobler, Banana Bread, Soft Baked Potatoes ( melts n ure mouth), Beef Cassarole

Beef Stroganoff, Beef Stew, Macaroni & Cheese with 4 different cheeses, Honey Ham, Chicken Noodle Soup

Bean Soup, Chicken Stroganoff, Bq Pork Strips, Pigs in a blanket & Baked Beans and Lasagna

I did not notice I made so many dishes, to many to list so just ask and you shall recieve...:0)

My Noodle has been a very picky eater...As a wee little girl I would tell her everything was chicken just so she would eat...it stopped working as she got older... meats have always been a challenge with her but I got her eating meats...lol

On that note...you will see very little of me ...I will ttyl...

btw; I am caught up on all mail.....I plan to be absent for awhile so if I miss your birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Peace to all :o)

1-11-2008

Something new to try this year...(New Year Resolution)

Maybe you have noticed by now that my friend's number went down ....I now have a clean slate and know all of you on my friend's . Now I just got to keep it that way and believe me I will do just that!

I been saying I am going to clean things up here, well that time has come...so I decided to delete those I do not talk to ... I have deleted all the friends on my list that I don’t know just now, this is second time I done this, I keep adding to my friends just to find out I am just another "friend" to them to boost their friend count...this is kiddy play to me....

I was thinking that there is no point when you just keep adding, adding and adding new friends who will never contact you after adding them... we actually never communicate. What's the point?

From here on out, these are my rule's...

If I don’t know you personally than DO NOT request me, it's that easy...:0)

I will however ADD YOU IF you are a friend to any of my friend's (u must be on their list and NOT a new account)...just let me know who you know and I will then add you...

This should help me narrow down the people who like playing games...

IF YOU ARE A LURKER, which I don't mind you peeking in on my page, but if I deleted you I AM SO SORRY..I did not know you and you never contacted me by email or made any comments to tell me otherwise!...feel free to lurk, you still have some access to my page. :0)

I finally put a dent in to it...go me ...giggles

11-27-07~~~~Tuesday

There has been some things that came up these past few days so this is the reason for my delay on adding my hero's...Family is my number one priority...

I promise I will get this done today...waiting for a few people for feed back to add there information...so be patient...:0)

I have the need to spill my thoughts today...Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

I have tried to recall the true friendships in my life that have been able to withstand the times of change, distance and turmoil. I have eight names, exclusive of my family, that come to mind.

The average person, if honest with themselves, have only a handful of lifetime relationships that have weathered change, distance and turmoil. We may have made many acquaintances in our lifetime, but few are soul mates that would be willing to sacrifice their needs for ours.

Think about it. Life has thrown us all loops. Who in your life has been and will be there unconditionally when you feel that you are about to be thrown under the bus?

If you have such friends that are connected to defining moments in your life wouldn't it be nice to let them know you care that they are there in your bag of marbles. While you can.

food for thought....

speaking of food...giggles...I just have to say, I made chicken pot pie last night for dinner...very tasty...yummy yummy...wink :0)

...hugs to all

11-18-07~~~~Sunday

Just want to let everyone know I am sorry...I have no clue why some of you are having trouble with signing the guest book...I am guessing it could be your java or something else on your end or maybe it is the server...

Keep trying please...IF YOU STILL ARE UNABLE TO SIGN JUST SEND ME A MESSAGE THROUGH MYSPACE AND I WILL ADD YOU THAT WAY...again me sorry :0(

Time is running out....On November 24th at midnight I will be adding you to my hero's...ARE YOU A TRUE FRIEND OF MINE...Sign NOW!

As you can see I gave my page a face lift...my baby Amber helped me out with finding a new look so Thank you Amber...Mommie loves you :0)

After the 25th, I will be deleting friends off my friend list...I see no reason to have so many on there if we do not talk to eachother....It's time to clean things up again...hugs to all

11-08-07

...I was fooling around with my phone...guess what I found, Pac-Man...now you guys know I love that game...go me..giggles....you got 2 get the Sanyo --Katana (dlx) phone...it kicks ass!...I was watching the news and found some very interesting things that this phone does...it fuckin rocks.. I also transferred alot of my photo's from my pc to my phone...gettin ready 2 add music so i can make ringtones 4 my phone..no charge! ...I love 2days gadgets....off 2 make my sexy smile :0)

November 7, 2007

Today I spent my day with my family...I swear our teens act more and more like biological siblings...its cute for now...lol

We had a good day...yeahhhh

Yesterday we attended my youngest grandson's birthday party...we had a blast...Some of you know how my mother can be...she had us rolling...we were outside smoking our cancer sticks and my son (u know the story) was told to sit in my mommies car b/c he did not have his coat on and it was so cold last night...he looks up at me and my sexy and off he goes...it was so funny...He was so cute...I can see my honey and I will have trouble with my mommie...She spoils her grand children so we have to stay strong on this one...lmao... All in all we all had a good time...giggles

I finally left Nextel...I am now with Sprint...I like the service better...My bill is less than I expected...I saved over $120.00 a month for switching and I got everything I had with my old plan...See good things do come to those who help others...I am smiling!

I am so happy with the blessings god has given me...I do see that my future has been written...:0) Pinch me! I feel I am dreaming still

I am waiting for my sexy to arrive home...He is so sweet ladies...I am honored to have him in my life...He does the most sweetest things for me that sends me in a awww

Every week he brings me home no less than a half of a dozen of roses...he knows I love them...he never forgets...he has me sooo spoiled...giggles

Last night we stayed up late and watched a few of the new released movies...every new release that comes out we are off to get it ... I had over 200 movies I brought here and what I had that he had I gave away...when we buy our home we plan to have a movie room which I am adding all of our autographs from celebs, including the porn stars and the collection he has accumilated over the years...My man loves Star Wars and I got some great ideas for us to display those too...:0)

Off to play with my new phone...Baby it rocks! 831

November 2, 2007

Hello peeps :0)

It is wee hours in the morning and I'm waiting for my sexy sexy to come home from work...thought this would be a good time to update you guys on some things that is going through my mind.

The past few days I have been thinking alot about who I was before I found my past love...in a nut shell...I allowed people to walk all over me..meaning taking advantage of my kindness and my pocketbook...I give, give, give and never realized how much I gave to others til In the end, when looking back and seeing who those people truely were/are and seeing they are doing the same acts as they did with me ...realising they were never my true friend(s)...I believe in second chances but not all deserve it IMO...I find myself happier without these people in my life bringing me down because the drama they cause in their own life...I have no room for women who are jealous of me for who I am inside and what I have to offer as a friend... I am grown and I hope one day these people will see what they are doing to others! FYI...WHAT COMES AROUND WILL GO AROUND...your turn is around the corner ... its sad but true...now for my happy moments :0)

When I wake up in the morning, my love is the first person I see when I open my eyes.. the joy he gives me I hope never dies within me...if it should, I will be there to give it life again....communication, wink...

Since I found my love I have learned to be stronger and stand up for myself, not allowing anyone to mistaken my kindness for my weakness, something I had to learn the hard way, not to mention the thousands of dollars i lost just to learn this lesson....but god gives these things back to me so all in all IT WAS WORTH IT!

My love has brought the best out of me...I truely thought there was no such thing as true love since I always had the short stick when it came to love...always the one gettin hurt... I did not know at the time how much my love meant to me BACK THAN and most of all NOW..He has given me reason to live my life to the fullest and I mean that in every breath I take...We been together since June and not once have we been in a arguement or disagreement....our relationship is strong and getting stronger every second...We are together 24/7 (almost) and still we laugh together...we are meant to be as ONE so all the bitches in the house can keep trying to get a piece of my wolfie...you will never measure up to me...I am one of a kind...eat ure heart out...heh heh heh

The things that once was will never be forgotten...for this is who I have become, because of these people who entered my world...

Now what...well I made my famous bean soup this week and today's dinner I plan to make my roast...yummmy

My baby thinks he should cook all the time because thats what he is use too...I help but it is not the same ... I want to cook SO I WILL, I love cooking for him and my teens...it gives me pleasure so move over baby and taste my world...831

My sweetness is heading home soon so I must continue this at a later date...god I love you baby...always and forever...WE PROMISED :0)

October 27, 2007

Went to the famous nudie club...We had a costume party and Mr Chef won the prize... balls balls balls...lmao ...I had a fuckin blast...like always with my sexy sexy...He dressed as The Reeper and I of course was the Black Widow...My oldest daughter did my hair and make-up and everyone loved her creativity...just like her daddy...heh heh heh

I added a new album...Halloween 2007, check it out and comment if you dare!

Another memory I will never forget :0)

October 22, 2007

Looks like MYSPACE has not changed a bit since my absents.

I return to alot of emails that I am missed and asking when will I return...some I cant complain about but these others have the nerve...I get back to find more butt wipes trying to take me out..How hard is it for you to read that I am in a relationship and I say I am happy...just so you know, MY MAN FULLFILLS EVERY OUNCE OF MY DESIRES...I am happy where I am so stop wasting my time and yours...anyhowzer

enough is enough....can't we just all get along..lmao

Today was very interesting...giggles...I am not telling...Tonight will be even more interesting and I am still not telling...lmao

Okay I am off to enjoy life...I advise you to take a day off from the internet and enjoy what life has to offer you...byezzzer for now!

October 21, 2007

Sunday

Alot as happen since I been away. I had the best summer ever!

Now where to begin

To begin, I refuse to go through another procedure at this moment. The last surgery was NOT successful...it did however take away some pain but I have new pains that annoy the hell out of me...I do take more meds at this point but what can I say, life is a bitch and sometimes we just have to get use to it...giggles

My life has changed so much... I am so happy and still in love...many months have gone by and we have yet to get in a dispute or whatever you choose to call it...lol

He is everything I expected he would be...we picked up where we left off 18 years ago...as if nothing had seperated us..he is a good man and I am proud to be his lady.

This point in my life I have realized how much my life did involve around my past love whom is now my love today. I can now understand my past relationships/marriages because now I have what I walked away from many years ago.

Without going into details I just want to say, Thank you my wolfie for being the man you are today! wink..:0)

BTW this goes out to my Noodle and my baby girl Amber..

This past year has been a challenge for all of us...We had roads to go down that we never thought would impact our lives as much as it has...I myself have learned so much from you both during this years journey...You have grown so much and I am proud to say to both of you that you HAVE been good daughter's and a pleasure to have raised you...

noodle I still have a little over a year til you are 18, but you have for the most part been responsible for yourself in many area's...neither of you never got into trouble with the law, you were never abusive to me or anyone else in that matter..you never gave me the thought of you heading down a path that brought legal issues of any kind or just being OUT OF CONTROL KIDS...

I know both of you have learned, of the many life lessons this year had planned for you...I believe you girls will go down a path that will fulfill your life dreams...I love you both :0) and thank you for being who you are and will become in the future...

peace to all my love's

June 7th 2007

Thursday

My surgery is coming up...June 14th is around the corner...This procedure could be my last if all turns out as expected. Time will tell :0)

Today school is out and summer for our kids is starting...I will miss my Noodle. I can see Noodle and I bumping heads this summer. She knows why...:0(

I was going to write this entry in my private journal but thought this needs to be known and on the table...Who is Vickie?

I know most of you know me in real life. Some of you may not know me as well as you think you do. I am a tough girl so I am told. Deep down I am not so tough. I try to hide behind my feelings instead of facing them but have learned to communicate!

I am a strong women, thanks to the men who has entered my world. I had something to learn from each of you. I never regret anything I do in life, I go with the flow and learn from my experiences. I been married four times and to me that is 4 marriage's ending with disappointment but in return I learn something from each marriage, rather if it is good or bad.

I demand respect and when I am disrespected, I must choose to be alone because I know I deserve better. God has a better plan for me, only he knows my future.

I know I may have told you this before, people come into my life to serve some sort of purpose, teach me a lesson or help me figure out who I am. We all go through things we dont really want to face but we do it anyway and in the end we become stronger and more wiser.

I think about this when people enter my world. What is their purpose...What lesson will this person teach me ...and so on..I am sure you are wandering where I am going with this...

A few weeks back I mention Jason in my journal. The more we hung out with each other, the more I got to know about him. I really like Jason and his world but I can see I am not the one for him. Jason wants to be more than friends. I on the other hand, only want to be friends. I am almost divorced so this may be the reason why our friendship is becoming the topic of being more than friends.

A few days back, Jason and I had a misunderstanding...which turned my world in k-ass...it made me realize things and gave me things to think about...all is resolved on my end but I don't think it is on his....

I know what I want in life and I know where I want to be. I live by this image and know one day, somewhere out there will be my eternity.

June 1, 2007

Friday

Last night fuckin rocked!….As u know, u can’t use camera’s in the Tits & Ass club so I have no before or after pics this time b/c the camera is just another thing 2 carry. I will share a little with you. I won’t tell all…giggles. Something’s ladies must keep to themselves…:0)

I want to say hello to my friend Brian…heh heh heh…sorry I was not at the table much with u guys…you know how it is…lol….o and HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 U my friend….thanks for dinner … I enjoyed ure company and ure accent…lmao…:0)

Okay back to the club…. I entered the wet T-shirt contest that Vixens has on the last Thursday of each month….(guys ure missing a good show) I was 4th contestant and nope my little boobies did not beat the biggie boobies or the sluttish behavior that some girls did to win the prizes…FYI..I will keep my sluttish behavior under control and behind closed doors for my night and shining armor who has YET to enter my world, ..giggles…damn that confused me…lmao

Needless to say. I got home around 6am…although my friend said a 30 minute stay, well, we went on over time…giggles…we were talking and ladies u know how it is when ladies get together and we start blabbing we don’t shut up…so that’s why I got home wee hrs in the morning…lol…It was definitely a night to remember and never to be forgotten!

I have to brag…I met a beautiful parrot named Angel. My first words to her were hello and she mocked me… I than said, Vickie’s got sexy toes and she said it twice…she is soooo cute…I truly felt a connection with Angel and hope to visit her again in the near future. :0)

May 28, 2007

Monday

The Internet is quickly becoming an essential medium for communication...WHAT HAPPENED TO FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

Some of you may not know what is happening here on myspace..Have you recieved notifcation?..Myspace is denying ure request to upload a video, photo, bulletin ect...if so, u need to read more by clicking links below..We need 2 speak up...Your voice can be heard so let's all get together and fight for our freedom of speech

Please voice your opinion now before you are not allowed to. Let the media know your opinion...You can add ure full name or just add ure first name..Let's make a difference :0)

Sign The Petition---Stop Censorship On MySpace!

http://www.petitiononline.com/free99/petition.html

See these links to learn more..

http://www.freemyspace.com

The link below is down for the moment but check back..

http://www.censorspace.com

Tom is fighting for us...r u?

May 20, 2007

Sunday

Well instead of the zoo and all that jazz I had planned, decided to go fishing today...Beautiful day to enjoy the sounds of nature...

Fish today were smart...they knew I was there...did not get anything today but there is always a tomorrow..thinking about going out tomorrow evening and see what I can catch...I do throw my fishies back in the water...so its all good...giggles

I am reading a really good book...The Search by Iris Johansen..I strongly feel you should get this book and read it...I hate when I have to close it :0(...Looks like another day will come before I finish this book...giggles

I am sure you may have noticed...I added another album to my collection, My fishing trips...check out the 11 pics I uploaded today...I do plan to go to different places this yr and enjoy the sun while I fish....so stay tuned :)

I am on the search to find a boat I can buy since I have a desire to be surrounded by water...hmmm...boats can be alot of fun...giggles...:0)

I thought my ducky pic with a loaded gun was cute...I only sent it to my top friends but I plan to send it to all my friends once I find time ...well best get going...I have alot to do before sun goes down...Loves ya all...

May 18, 2007

Friday

I think this is interesting...I got this from yahoo horoscope compatibility...As you know Jason and I are Virgo's...this is so true!

Romantic Compatibility

Provided by: Astrology.com

Virgo & Virgo

When two Virgos join together in a love match, they are likely to structure their lives in beautiful conjunction. The merging of two incredibly practical, industrious sorts such as these creates an incredibly devoted and doting couple although public displays of affection will be rare. Though their shared perfectionism and skepticism could lead to conflict, the level-headed Virgo duo will quickly resolve any disputes and move on to more pleasant times.

The Virgo-Virgo relationship runs like a well-oiled machine, particularly for couples who live together or have children. There is never any confusion over the delegation of responsibility, and both partners feel quite comfortable with this arrangement. Making lists, balancing accounts and keeping the house and affairs in order are second nature to both partners. They share a discriminating palette and exquisite taste. As long as they aren't too harsh with one another, their relationship will be fulfilling in every way.

Virgo is ruled by the Planet Mercury. This Planet represents communication, and indeed this is Virgo's shtick. As a romantic couple, both are tuned in to one another's frequencies. Virgo is often able to read the nuances of words and gestures and take in an analytical meaning. One of the strongest points of the relationship is open and honest communication. Also, the reasoning and logical abilities of two Virgos together can quite possibly solve all the world's problems. They are a versatile and brilliant team.

Virgo is an Earth Sign, thus indicating a practical nature. Also, they are a couple who likes to be surrounded by and own elegant things, and who won't settle for second best. It is worth it to hold out for something perfect, rather than to allow for anything less. Virgo exercises caution before moving forward, and they are the first to determine the best action for everyone to -- even if it involves sacrifice. Pickiness makes the Virgo-Virgo team a wonderful romantic couple.

Virgo is a Mutable Sign. They are easily adaptable to any situation or any social setting. There is rarely conflict between them, but when it does arise it is quickly brushed over. Neither is too pushy or domineering, and they share an equal enthusiasm for one another's pursuits. Virgo always follows through, and two of them together doubles this energy and makes a very happy couple.

What's the best aspect of the Virgo-Virgo relationship? It's their levelheaded and structured approach to life, work, fun and commitment. They're incredibly compatible, and this obvious to them and to their friends. Together, they make a wonderful pair for pleasing one another and working on the perfect relationship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can say this about us...Jason has his ways with me...get ure mind out of the gutter...He knows how to make a odd, situation turn into a pleasant situation...at least with me :0)...He also knows when I am pissed and yes he knows how to turn my attitude into a postive one...We definately have a connection here...I truely feel it and I know our one day will come, when we will be happy forever inlove...

Marriage was a topic at the table...I say 10 yrs..and I might just say I do...Well, I don't see marriage as I once did...After 4 failed marriages, a girl can take only so much...Maybe Jason will change my mind on this topic too...just maybe there is one last time for me...Time will tell...:0)

May 16, 2007....and May 17th

Wednesday,... Thursday

I never edit my journal but find this time a one and only time to add some new info...giggles.

My girl Amy and I went out lastnight...OMG...I am not telling all but can say this...we had fun...(grin)

Ok...check out our pics...I added 20 new in the Girls just want 2 have fun album...you will find...before, during and after shots so take a stroll and comment if you wish.

Just so you know...The club does not allow camera's but we did get one shot and I was not going to use it if there were any nude girls in the back ground ....not so lucky this time...giggles..jk....I guess you had figured out we went to the nudie club again...I know I cant stay away ... I am addicktteeeddd....lmao

alright...now you can stop reading if you were here yesterday and read my journal update so be good and see you at the night club...wink :0)

Hello to all my friends on myspace...giggles

let's start with my new tat as of yesterday...Most of you know me well enough to know that my tats have a special meaning behind them... My first tat was done 14 yrs ago a few days after my childhood sweetheart died.

I got 4 tats done all in the same day. All were copies of Scott's art work he did when we were 14yrs old..well he was 16yrs old. Yesterday I had added my two grandson's names on my right wrist that compliments the work I had done 14 yrs ago... To me, this connect's Scott to our grandsons. Do you think I am crazy...?...o well, I don't care what u think...lol...it makes me happy and thats what counts...I have some interesting things planned for this weekend so I am sure you will see my new tat in my upcoming pictures...so stay tuned :0)

My friend Jason and I adopted a female black lab one week ago...I am tickled pink that Morgan gets along with my doggies, Ayla and Honie...I thought my girls would give us a problem with Morgan but both has accepted her which blows my mind...if you knew my doggies this is not normal behavior...go figure...:0)

As you may tell...I am a bit fucked up...these damn meds are messing with my head so I best get off here before I say to much...giggles...Hugs and much love to all :0)

Keep on rockin!

May 7, 2007
Monday

Usually I'm one of the calmest people on earth. But for some reason...when I talk to these people...I want to scream. I feel this pressure on my throat and I want to throw something against a wall. I'm so tired of this...so tired nothing ever changing, of hearing about the same problems fucking over and over again. I'm tired of being asked advice for the same fucking issues and god I can't stand repeating the same thing year after year knowing that they don't give a shit. You'd think that people would learn over time and use some plain old common sense to correct their mistakes, but they never change. I feel horrible about being so easily angered but I just can't stand it. I feel like I'm trapped in a cage where nothing I say or do matters. I can only stand here and watch her suffer...watch my world falls apart. I love her with all my heart. I can not understand why she puts up with him. Why does she allow him to do what he does to her? I am finally letting go, hoping she will grow to understand the love he gives is NOT the love she deserves nor is it love.

Why can't we all just be normal…:0(

Enough of my rambling…I needed to vent for a moment so thanks for putting up with me…giggles.

A lot is happening at the moment. I had my surgery. So far my results are good. Dr C did sleep very well and my results prove that…giggles. I know it is to soon to know, but for some odd reason I feel I am a new person. I have went through many surgeries and still have a few more to go, I am doing things that I thought I would never do again. I am staying on the positive side no matter whom tries to bring me down. I am a strong women and I know I will have my life back 100%…so there…heh heh heh I go back for my next procedure on June 14th…I think this one will be at least 2 weeks down time. :0(

I got my Adley butt Saturday…o he is so cute. He is growing up so fast. I plan to video tape him when I pick him up in 2 weeks for the weekend. Adley ran to me yelling MieMie MieMie…I have to get this on tape…he loves his MieMie. :0)

I have a video of him, sitting on Honie and giving her love. It is so cute… I will have the video’s I plan to share uploaded before I pick him up again. I plan to take him to the zoo in 2 weeks and in August maybe September…all depends on my upcoming surgery at that time. I am planning a trip to Disney World. I can’t wait to see Adley’s face when he looks at all the animals the Washington Zoo offers. He will love it!

Okay now for the bullshitter update…My soon to be ex-husband seems to be having a lot of issues lately. He thinks by sending text messages to me, saying hurtful things is going to bring me down to his level..…news flash, you cant come close. His issues has a lot to do with his actions when we were together. It is something only he can deal with…I can see he is not happy with his life, that’s why he is trying to pull me down with him…I wont allow him to make me as miserable as he is…I have will power Kalen so get a fuckin life outside of my world!

Enough of the bullshitter…now I know everyone will be blown away but please bare with me on this topic and be nice when you respond…I am so damn fragile…NOT…I have some personal issues I must bring to surface… As you know it has been over a year since the bullshitter and I split. I feel I am divorced but legally I am not…July is around the corner. Yuppies (still saving myself)

I have been spending a lot of time with a friend. I am learning so much from him. I am older than him…giggles…We are exactly 10 days apart and we have a lot in common. I enjoy his company. I miss him when we are apart. Still, the questions remain. Do I want a serious relationship? Do I really want to settle down at all? Will it work this time? These questions run through my mind…because of my past relationships which I will not move on till I know for sure I have resolved these feelings within myself.

I feel like right now I have found the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life but he and I still have more to learn about each other although isn't that the point of the relationship? To get to know one and other! You do that throughout the relationship and it's a very long process but it's an interesting one too. I want to know all there is about him and I want to love it whether they are quality traits or some flaws. We all have flaws but we can accept them. I hope he is the one and it's for real.

I’m a person with trust issues, and it takes longer for a relationship to develop for me than what I’ve noticed of my friends/ family. That can be a good thing or bad. I have had a hard time trusting in the past because I have had my trust broken by men. I start to think that all of them tell lies. It's not a hard task to be 100% honest and not tell a single lie so why do most men do it? Telling the truth and being straight up with the person is such a better feeling. You can look at yourself in the mirror and love what's staring back at you. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean that all men lie but it's been my life experience that 98% of them do. They lie about their feelings, they fake orgasms, they cheat, they tell you what you want to hear, they toy with your emotions, play head games, they have an agenda that is for self gain only and is inconsiderate to the partner they are with, me and I find after me, they are just very cold and their is no good reason at all for it, especially when I respect them so much, in return they turn around and burry the axe in my back. I do love men but at the same time, many of them have drove me nuts but everyday is a new day and I always try my best to give the benefit of a doubt and have a whole new perception of men because I do respect them and admire them for what they go through in their lives. It's tough being a man but, it doesn't give you an excuse to treat women like second class and that's something I have never tolerated and I never will. Respect goes both ways and so does trust. If you're a liar, then you won't be respected or trusted but if you're completely honest, that will carry you very far, not to mention that honesty is the number one turn on for me and is most important. "I am worth a lot". :)

My fear, I think relationships start to wither away when people (being together so long) start to take each other for granted. They feel that there's no need to assure the other one that they're still loved, that he/she knows that already. That in turn might create uncertainty. What does the other one think when little by little the other stops to display his/her affection? Then the uncertainty starts to gnaw their feelings (it does that, love isn't hard as diamond) and voilá! There it is. Crisis in a relationship. Communication is the key....keep the door open and always talk to me about your true feelings.

Only thing that I can think of is that don't stop saying that you love me, don't stop telling me that I'm wonderful, gorgeous, beautiful. Keep the relationship physically close, kiss and hug me often and in return I give you my all. I have learned once you break the trust to just move on with life since the end results end in hating one another and honestly I gave to many chances to my ex because I wanted my fourth marriage to work. I won’t go down that path again. One chance and that’s it! I know ure reading this,,,sweets and I know you wont break my heart.

Speak up for yourselves and your feelings towards the love of your life. Stay strong. Live strong. you'll have the courage and the guts to say... "no thanks, I'm married."

Hold up...Someday I might walk down the aile one last time...I have faith!

I really would like to think that is true that true love never dies no matter what. Perhaps it wouldn't if it weren't for the incecurities and the constant need for reassurance within both partners.

I hope he will never keep secrets from me as I will never keep secrets from him. I mean there are some things that doesn't need to be known, but there is a connection that lets people feel when something is going on. it really works for a long term serious relationship.

also know when to walk away, no one wants to say things in anger. my rule is, dont ever do something that you feel you might have to apologize for later.

It all boils down too, so long as there is total trust in the relationship, there is the possibility of working through everything. If you screw up, no matter how badly, own up to it...don't try to cover it, withhold details, or otherwise give me any justification for not believing in you.

Patience is also a requirement. I understand that we are likely going to change, and not always in ways that we'll both understand immediately. I will have patience while my partner "catches up" to where I am emotionally/spiritually, etc. Also I have patience with myself, I will give myself time to get my mind around changes that may pop up in my partner.

Some people might disagree with that last part, but I think it's essential to keeping the relationship going.

I plan to allow time to run its course. Right now, we are just friends and I believe we do have a future together. My future is unwritten.

May 2, 2007
Wednesday
Happy Birthday Adley...MieMie misses you...Love you :0(

I hate to say it but it looks like this summer is going to be the hottest summer ever....Someone just said to me, our temps will be over 105 this yr...I asked how do you know..she says..women knows these things..lmao...I dont know...anyhow,

I am nervous as hell this time...Dr C will burn the ends of my nerves somewhere...I don't really know all the details til I get there in the morning...My only question to him in the morning will be...did u sleep well?...lol...on a serious note..I feel this one may fix all..big changes in my life if Dr C had a good night sleep...giggles..I pray all goes well...I will leave it in god's hands...he always takes care of me...:0)

Went to the Washington zoo this past weekend...I had alot of fun..I seen my wolves...that was the bestest...giggles..I will add video once I have time to download it...I have no clue how long that will be...so be patient..

Hey this goes out to Jason...Got to say one thing to you...THANK YOU!...I never thought I could depend on anyone but myself...you proved me wrong..go you..giggles...I have noticed when you visit my world you like to do things for me,..You have fixed things without me having to say anything...you see it needs done and you do it..I love that!..I know you will be helping me tomorrow after my surgery...remember what I said to you..if I laugh, laugh with me..If I cry, cry with me... don't laugh at me when I cry because ure laughing at me...lmao...Again thank you my friend for helping a gal out..My recovery should be fast...I am a fast healer...wuv ya! :0)

April 25, 2007
Wednesday

Nothing exciting going on at the moment..I did add a few pics to my album. Check them out!...Don't let it go to ure heads guys...I am not sexually frusterated..NOT YET....lmao

I now wish for it to rain...I need a good walk...wink :0(

Missing the past, 18 yrs...yeah

April 21, 2007
Saturday

My procedure went fairly well..My down time was not so bad..I only have a few surgeries left so I am told...My next scheduled procedure is on May 3rd...seems it may be a bit more painful...whaaa

I went to the tanning bed today...yep I cheated the sun...giggles...Must get ready for this summer...I hope this weather decides to stay with us..I hate the cold nights...I am sure everyone does...unless you have a mate to keep u warm...u don't count in my world...lmao

I will take a few pics of my tat's tonight...Maybe I can post them on here later tonight...if not, tomorrow it shall be..:0)

I want to mention my friend from a distance...I don't know what is happening in ure world but I can see something is not going well for you...talking to someone, anyone will allow your spirit to roam free...I miss you...please reach out to someone...I hate seeing you this way...bears r NSN :0(

April 14, 2007
Saturday

Hmm..where to start, Okay this is what is happening in my world for those who give a damn.
I am finally settled in to my new place..It is so damn small here but I like it this way. I now have 2 floors compared to my four floors...I am trying to get used to not having 2 bathrooms..I miss my fireplace so my dream has been buried..giggles..My doggies are happy with the move now..I believe they were confused at first thinking I was leaving them here...lol...No more whining! Both are back on track.

My girl Tina from Cali is visiting me...I cant wait til she gets here...I no longer have a guest room, sorry.. Changes have been made to please my world..I do plan on going home with her for a week...I miss Cali...it so rocks..! Tina, let's replay the limo...giggles...heh heh heh

I do plan to be here more often this year than last summer..I do have plans for this summer so don't expect me to be here 24/7...live it up people...the sun is calling ure name..ok my name...lol!

I have been scheduled for my third procedure, second part...this procedure is suppose to be a little more complicated than the last 2...I will get through it..I noticed since Dr. C has been doing these surgeries, I have different things going on and so far I can handle it..I hope this one does not require alot of down time...I will find out this Monday at 7:15am with the details of this procedure...lucky me...damn I wish this was all over and I am all better...wishful thinking but I am gettin closer to riden me horse again.

Update on my divorce...My soon to be x is fighting the issue of a divorce...Instead of the original May court date, it has changed to July...which sucks but it is before my birthday so no heart breaks here.

My candle business has slowed down due to all the changes in my life here recently...I am now in the middle of picking up where I left off..it all boils down to work work, fun, work, fun, work...giggles...I am so readyyyyyyyyy!

My Noodle is handling things quite well...I know changes suck for teens but she is gettng through it. I do miss my Adley butt...I had him Wednesday night and had fun with him before my down time starts...My niece Ker stayed with me and helped me with him...We had a good time...Makin new memories makes me smile! :0)

I miss my April...I know ure reading this...Where r u?

Well gettin close to the end..Looks like things have changed for the better...I am finally in a place where my stress level has dropped to O...yep a big fat ZERO!

I have lost 26 pounds already since ..h...Gettin back into routine was a challenge but I am finally where I should be in life..I remain single BY CHOICE...I have many friends and dont feel the need for a companion in ANY WAY!...One day after my divorce I shall find my friend with benefits but for now I am satisfied with my lifesaver..lmao

I am almost caught up with my messages here...I will be hitting ure comments soon...God I missed u guys...o and before I close...I want to say hello Jason...I want to thank you for being a good friend to me...u have really brightened my days with ure company...and ure daughter, she is beautiful and tell her I had a blast yesterday with her...see you soon...:0)

What's for dinner?

Hugs and missed you all!

March 16, 2007
Friday

I added a video to my page, check it out. You can't hear what I am saying in the video. I was saying hello to all my friends and letting you know this is heaven. I am back but not for long. I had my second procedure done on March 13, 2007 once I returned home. Now I am on call for the next 2 weeks to finish the second part. I will get to everyone's messages and respond to your comments once I am able too. I need to repost my new tat but again don't have time at this moment. I am moving out of state which will take most of my time. If you have my digits, call me!
Hugs and miss you all!

February 28, 2007
Wednesday

What a fuckin day...today is a day for the journal...omg
Let me start off by saying...wtf is wrong with people...first, I had 2 parties scheduled. First party was awsome, everything went smoothly...off to my second party...finally arrive, everything SEEMS normal..noticed while setting up, hostess is on edge. Sometimes people may be a bit nervous..nothin serious...turns out I should worry...without going into detail and to make a long story short, I arrive home back in MD @ 7pm. Second party had mad drama...I usually say I know nothing, I seen nothing...blah blah blah...not this time...I seen the gun, I seen madness...I wanted to run but I didnt...Like always I am talking myself through it..yep...I am a peace maker and I do love breathing..so in my mind, its life or death

without thinking, I am telling this stranger whom is my hostesses x-bf holding a fuckin gun, (loaded or unloaded who really wants to find out...not me)..I talk my way out of this situation using my life experiences as my guide..it worked with understanding and a bit of a reality check..The last thing I said to him, I can see it in your eyes you do not want to hurt her..(I LIED THROUGH MY TEETH) This man had to know it was not worth it..(in the end) we all snap at some point..just takes someone to show you a different path.

I am now back to thinking about becoming a phystrist...years ago, I was told I am good at solving others problems but when it comes to my own...NO FUCKIN WAY of dealing with it..

anyhows..noone was hurt, thank god...party did continue only with orders..I sure in the hell was not in the mood for a party and it was not even a thought to ask if anyone wanted to continue.

February 25, 2007
Sunday

Yesterday I sat in the chair for 6 hrs..give me a few more days and I will add a new pic, I need to heal just a bit. :0)
Not much to say at the moment. O let it snow! giggles

February 22, 2007
Thursday

Hello-o :0)

I am satisfied with today's events. Had a great day, o my week has been even better...anyhow, I have decided to slow things down a bit. My life seems to have taken turns I did not expect to face, soooo soon.

I suppose I am a bit more interestng than some truely realize ... I told you, water pressure was addicting..lmao...Always invite ure mate to join you, when playin with water...its worth it!

for the record, I have never had a threesome and WILL NEVER HAVE ONE...yeah I thought about it and played it over and over in my mind. shows you some do have a fantasy or 2 or 3.....I act upon them, only in my world...gettin down to it, I would NEVER share my man, i would not feel love if my man wanted to share me... i personally would not feel as if he would respect me if I allowed another to touch me in a intimate way. male or female..i dont care..Not my cup of tea...nope..

I open up to only a hand full of people online. Most of you, get a little taste of me...that's it...nothin more..I can make games hard to play...or as easy as abc...wink ♥
:0)

I have been without for 10 months now...wait IT'S BY CHOICE...trust me, can have it anytime, anywhere and any position I please... My ♥ will not be on display..

anywayzzz,

I have found my new location to rest my bones..no I do not plan to die...giggles, I will remain in Maryland. Lucky me :0)..My divorce will be heard in court on May 1, 2007. I will rock his world in court and I owe all my knowledge in this matter to Norman.. thank you for teaching me a valueable lesson in life, Norman...

watch me Spicy. You will love my action in court, girlfriend.

I will be missing in action 2 Friday's from tommorrow. I need a weekend getaway..My girl and I will live it up with many pics to share, I PROMISE!...going to my favorite place...I can feel the sand...take me away..far away

2 more days I will be forever, Little Miss Ridin Hoods gal...lmao..I am so excited to get this tat..The stories I will tell...My tat has a few stories to tell..:0)

Just recieved a phone call from my x-husband Norman. I just said to him, I will never go back to you. Seriously, he needs to move on. Been there and done that with all the broken promises. Anyhow, I love you Norman and I do wish you the best! Those of you who has not visit my website